| Author | Topic |
|---|
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Thu, 25 December 2003 12:27
|
 |
I found this a couple of years ago, when i first got the net. Its a great little piece explaining why Santa dosent exist.
[PASTE]
WHY SANTA DOESN'T EXIST
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).
At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical).
This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.
This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound.
For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.
On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them.
This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.
A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the cookies and milk he must consume from each house) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering puddle of pink mush.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. MERRY CHISTMAS!!!
[END PASTE]
Lets not get all teary now, deep down you know there is no Santa
[Updated on: Thu, 25 December 2003 13:18]
|
|
|
Location:
Newcastle
Registered:
April 2003
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Thu, 25 December 2003 13:19
|
|
They forgot the bit about Santa getting the odd knee trembler from grateful mums around the world. 
There's no Santa. 
All this time it's been a lie. 
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Perth, Western Australia
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Thu, 25 December 2003 16:45
|
|
|
Yep, bah humbug - thank God it's all over again for another year!
|
|
|
Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
November 2003
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Thu, 25 December 2003 23:30
|
|
Now we get to look foward to new years. 
|
|
|
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
June 2003
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Fri, 26 December 2003 03:20
|
|
|
dher there is more then one santa, havent you seen the australian santa with the akubra hat and stuff?
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Fri, 26 December 2003 07:45
|
|
|
Ofcourse there is more than one santa how else can he be in all the malls and other shops for photos at the same time.
|
|
|
Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
November 2003
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Fri, 26 December 2003 13:24
|
|
Those are just fake santas.
The real Santa is multi-dimentional. He doesn't realy ride the slay to each house, rather he is in multiple places at once.
Dah!
|
|
|
Location:
Perth
Registered:
August 2003
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Fri, 26 December 2003 13:46
|
|
|
why do you think he has thounsands of elfs
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Fri, 26 December 2003 14:02
|
|
| Rex_Kelway wrote on Thu, 25 December 2003 23:27 |
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
|
Why do you think rudolf's nose is red?
|
|
|
Location:
brisbane
Registered:
August 2003
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Sat, 27 December 2003 00:38
|
|
| Old School wrote on Sat, 27 December 2003 01:02 |
| Rex_Kelway wrote on Thu, 25 December 2003 23:27 |
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
|
Why do you think rudolf's nose is red?
|
From rubbing his nose against my stomach while he was sucking me off.
|
|
|
Location:
Northwestern Sydney
Registered:
August 2002
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Sun, 28 December 2003 22:44
|
|
| Quote: |
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.
On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them.
This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
|
He has a Magic Sack... 
|
|
|
Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
November 2002
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Thu, 08 January 2004 14:56
|
|
I think the real santa has the ability to travel through the conventional space/time continuim.
makes sense 
|
|
|
Location:
Campbelltown, NSW, Austra...
Registered:
January 2004
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Tue, 20 January 2004 10:54
|
|
|
But wouldn't have he given in and used his powers for the forces of evil by now?
|
|
|
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Sat, 24 January 2004 02:08
|
|
I think you'll find that Santa and all his 'magic' have been recruited into the American armed forces. In which case insted of giving toys to good boys and girls, he spends his time helping the Americans, British and Us  relentlessly bombing non conformist countries into the stoneage, maiming and killing these same children.
What a wonderful world...
|
|
|
Location:
Campbelltown, NSW, Austra...
Registered:
January 2004
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Sat, 24 January 2004 06:24
|
|
|
I thought thats what would happen.
|
|
|
Location:
Ballarat, Vic.
Registered:
September 2002
|
|
Re: Why Santa dosent exist...
|
Sat, 24 January 2004 06:52
|
|
hahahha you guys have to much time on your hands 
|
|
|
