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Location:
Brisbane, Queensland
Registered:
May 2002
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Oil Change Instructions
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Sat, 21 September 2002 04:33
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This is just something I've had lying in my email account for a while, Very ammusing, I'm sure a lot of us can relate to it.
Oil Change Instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to a Service Dealer when the mileage reaches 10,000 KMs since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $40.00
Coffee $ 2.50
Total $42.50.
Oil Change Instructions for Men:
1) Go to auto parts store and write a cheque for $50.00 for oil,
filter,kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it to proper recycle place, dump in hole in back yard.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
 Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process.
12) Clean up mess.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Look for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
16) Beer.
17) Mate shows up; finish carton of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to bottle shop; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of clean oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first litre of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
29) Discover that first litre of fresh oil is now on the floor.
30) Drink beer.
31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on
frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December in the left boob.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh litres of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
during step 23.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Make bail.
50) Get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2000.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $500.00
Beer $60.00
Total-- $2,685.00
But you know the job was done right! (Well that's what you think
anyway.)
Benny
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| | Subject | Poster | Date |
|---|
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Oil Change Instructions
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BigBadBenny | Sat, 21 September 2002 04:33 |
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Re: Oil Change Instructions
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wilbo666 | Sat, 21 September 2002 06:25 |
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Re: Oil Change Instructions
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Cool1 | Sat, 21 September 2002 23:21 |
