Toymods Car Club
www.toymods.org.au
F.A.Q. F.A.Q.    Register Register    Login Login    Home Home
Members Members    Search Search
Toymods » The Outhouse » Wogging for Dumies.

Show: Today's Posts  :: Show Polls 
Email to friend 
Return to the default flat view Create a new topic Submit Reply
AuthorTopic
Azza
Regular


Location:
Jimboomba
Registered:
December 2004
icon4.gif  Wogging for Dumies. Mon, 21 February 2005 11:52 Go to previous message
Hi, and welcome.

This guide will explain in careful detail how to turn your otherwise plain VL commodore into a true street machine worthy of a wog king.

Chapter i: Basics to making a fulysic ride.
Chapter ii: Why we do certain things.
Chapter iii: Driving style

CHAPTER I:
Wogmobile Basics:

There are a few items you will need installed on your car before you leave your driveway, otherwise the other wogs will bash you up and laugh at your would-be sic ride.

1. Subwoofer - The ultimate essential
2. Neons - Pretty colors a must
3. Stickers - Dent-b-Gone
4. Friends - Extra Traction
5. Racing accessories - Strike fear into your enemies!

CHAPTER II:
Why we do certain things:

Now most of us will have become familiar with what I like to call the 'What the FUCK?!?!' stare given when people look into your fulysic VL. In this chapter I will explain what this look can mean and give you a plausible excuse for these questions should they ever arise.

1. Now the most common cause of a 'WTFL' is when people hear you rev at them then gaze up only to see you have several of your friends in the back and a 15 year old girlfriend in the passenger seat. Why should they bother? Little do these people know it is imperative to carry extra passengers due to the fact it gives extra traction to your back wheels.

2. Now we have all been picked on at some stage for a ridiculous sound system setup usually consisting of the cheapest.. umm... top range sound equipment you found in your grandfathers shed. People will often ask you why you have so much bass and loud music playing. The answer is SIMPLE- If their ride was as fulysic as yours then they would understand listening to the sounds emitted out the muffler end of your beast can get very loud at times. So you need subs so YOU don't have to listen to you own zorst. However a word of advice - Keep your windows up at all times to protect yourself from harmful and potentially lethal gases that come out with the noise, remember if you can hear the noise then the gases aren't far behind!

3. Neons... These pretty lights are in fact a mating call of sorts, you must turn these on and drive back and forth in front of your local shopping center at night. The wog female will always go for the brightest display so remember - TOO MUCH IS NEVER ENOUGH.

4. Racing seats... Well the last ones... got beat... Toyota... don't want to talk about it O.K!

5. Same as number one however you must have extra friends stashed in the boot or other inconspicuous places due to the weight reduction on your car... you don't want to get blown away by rivals exhaust emissions.

EXTRA TIPS:

If your wog friends have names such as Habib or Pauly they will have a better affect on your cars performance compared to more common and hard to spell names.

Neons are also available in varying colors, so you can choose the color depending on the night of the week - Dare to be different.

CHAPTER III:
Driving style:

The last and most important chapter - Read it well or get someone who can read, to read it to you.

Position: To correctly be in a fulysic and race style position you must have your seat back angled very far backward with your right arm on the window half hanging out the door in preparation to give 'Westside or Eastside' signs to unsuspecting passersby. your left hand must be positioned DIRECTLY on top of the steering wheel.. 1 millimeter out either way can cause devastating effects, not only on your ability to pick up 15 year olds but also on your cars overall performance.

Auto or Manual: This question is simply answered by watching the movie fast and furious. Get an auto as the people in the movies lie and therefore using a manual must be bad. If you ever think at any stage of owning a manual repent yourself by whipping yourself with wet pasta or sticking uncooked spaghetti under your fingernails!

Credits: Me of course
Lil Crash for some key tips to serious Wogging

Disclaimer: This was done entirely for a laugh and is not meant to insult or demean anyone nor put down the 'Wog' community.




[Updated on: Mon, 21 February 2005 12:58]

  Send a private message to this user    

SubjectPosterDate
Read Message   Wogging for Dumies.  AzzaMon, 21 February 2005 11:52
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. NolanMon, 21 February 2005 12:09
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. AzzaMon, 21 February 2005 12:13
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. Petes76celicaMon, 21 February 2005 12:30
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. ShrakaTue, 22 February 2005 11:36
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. NolanTue, 22 February 2005 12:38
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. AzzaWed, 23 February 2005 08:20
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. rthyWed, 23 February 2005 08:36
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. skellatorMon, 21 February 2005 21:25
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. BenjaminTue, 22 February 2005 04:12
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dum[B]m[/B]ies. skellatorTue, 22 February 2005 07:38
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. EvanTue, 22 February 2005 05:35
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. hokeyTue, 22 February 2005 07:22
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. FattonyTue, 22 February 2005 08:00
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. AzzaTue, 22 February 2005 08:06
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. towe_001Tue, 22 February 2005 10:25
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. Julz01Wed, 23 February 2005 10:56
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. rthyWed, 23 February 2005 11:24
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. AzzaWed, 23 February 2005 11:30
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. WANTED_AE86Mon, 28 February 2005 13:46
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. ViPeR_NiPPleXMon, 28 February 2005 14:04
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. WANTED_AE86Mon, 28 February 2005 14:13
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. NolanTue, 01 March 2005 11:08
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. WANTED_AE86Tue, 01 March 2005 15:58
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. AzzaWed, 02 March 2005 09:21
Read Message   Re: Wogging for Dumies. MookieWed, 02 March 2005 23:20
Previous Topic:initial d 4th stage 11 and 12 - when are they due?
Next Topic:Wreckers in Newcastle?

Goto Forum:
-=] Back to Top [=-

Current Time: Sat Mar 15 21:42:59 UTC 2025

Total time taken to generate the page: 0.0072031021118164 seconds

Bandwidth utilization bar

.:: Contact :: Home ::.

Powered by: FUDforum 2.3.8
Copyright ©2001-2003 Advanced Internet Designs Inc.