| Author | Topic |
|---|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
 The odd joke
|
Wed, 02 March 2005 01:12
|
 |
A woman sitting at a restaurant in McKinney, Texas suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two cowboys at the next table turned to look at her.
“Kin ya swaller?” asked one of the cowboys.
The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head.
"Kin ya breathe?" asked the other.
The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.'
With that, the first cowboy walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, yanked down her panties, and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
The cowboy slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another drink of his Lone Star beer.
His partner said in admiration, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I ain't never seen nobody do it."
1. Two blondes walk into a building..........
you'd think at least one of them would have seen it
2. Phone answering machine message -
"...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for
shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid
that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
"No, the steaks are too high."
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled
him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
replied "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in
the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van
covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he
topped himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his
head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' Is it common? '
"It's not unusual."
13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet,
"let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and
examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he
says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because
he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy"
14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball
stuck up my backside." ..."How's that?" "Don't you start."
15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can
you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the
world's your oyster,go for it.'
18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are
5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either
my mum or my Dad,or my older Brother Colin, or my younger
Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.
19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"
20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery
acid,and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and
let the other one off.
21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving
today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said,
'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in
several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there
anymore"
23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when
a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so
far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into
the night. 
Cheers
Jason
|
|
|
| | Subject | Poster | Date |
|---|
 |
The odd joke
|
Jason | Wed, 02 March 2005 01:12 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
dimmy77_03 | Wed, 02 March 2005 03:01 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
unforgiven | Wed, 02 March 2005 05:06 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
skellator | Wed, 02 March 2005 05:59 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
UUP-46X | Wed, 02 March 2005 21:56 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
Hi-Ace | Wed, 02 March 2005 22:12 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
unforgiven | Thu, 03 March 2005 06:17 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
Cressida Chick | Thu, 03 March 2005 07:33 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
M.J.H | Thu, 03 March 2005 08:12 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
unforgiven | Thu, 03 March 2005 10:22 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
river | Thu, 03 March 2005 10:36 |
|
Re: The odd joke
|
EldarO | Thu, 03 March 2005 16:08 |
| Current Time:
Sat Jul 19 21:21:58 UTC 2025 |
Total time taken to generate the page: 0.0041909217834473 seconds |
