Toymods Car Club
www.toymods.org.au
F.A.Q. F.A.Q.    Register Register    Login Login    Home Home
Members Members    Search Search
Toymods » The Outhouse » Boganism 101 (5) 3 Vote(s)

Show: Today's Posts  :: Show Polls 
Email to friend 
Return to the default flat view Create a new topic Submit Reply
AuthorTopic
MR 1JZ
Forums Junkie


I supported Toymods

Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
July 2004
Boganism 101 Thu, 03 March 2005 05:34 Go to previous message
Lately I have seen a little bit of wogbashing on this forum, and seeing as i dont care, i left it alone, but if there is a document on how i can become "fully sick" then I feel that people out there wishing to become bogans should really take note and follow the necessary steps to the nirvana of boganism.

PLEASE NOTE: Wogging, is simply posing and anyone can really become "fully sick" overnight, boganism 101 is not for the faint of heart as it takes many years of training to become the ultimate alpha bogan.

Step One: Smoke at least an ounce of weed a week, this is a simple task that really should be undertaken around the age of 13 if you want to be successful in your boganism, it should be smoked, before school, after school, at lunch time under the tree with the other stoners, and during toilet breaks mid lesson, it will be the start of a successful career of boganism as it will most likely force you to drop out of school by around the middle of year ten Smile

Step Two: The day you decide to drop out of school your first destination should really be the centrelink, if you have a father (i.e. he isnt locked up, dissapeared one night or dead) then go down with him as it is most likely he would get the preffered customer discount due to his many years of long service for the dole, he is a real patriot! Once the money is in your account you are home free, first stop after payment should be the servo to grab the trading post, and then the bottlo for some sustinance, usually in the form of a bottle of the establishments finest, cheapest burbon and a packet of Holiday 50's

Step Three: Upon arriving home with your sustinance and reading material (read: trading post (step two)) you proceed to remove the section "Cars under $1000" and throw the rest of the paper in the bin, or stash it away for splif rolling material later, as you will not be able to afford anything from the other sections anyway, proceed to the cars entitled C for commodore or F for Falcon, the first one that catches your eye for under $350 you instantly call and get the address to go and purchase the car, regardless of condition. Congratulations you now have your own bonafide boonger, warning, the panels must be rusted/unpainted/mismatched in colour and the car must have a mechanical rating of C- or lower otherwhise your father will get jealous and go off in a drunken rage and beat the piss out of you, your mother and your sister.

Step Four: Now that you have your own car you have some freedom, now its time to go and pick up your two mates Darryl and Darren, grab a carton of woodstock burbon and cola and go for a drive through the city looking for the opposite sex, the opposite sex will usually wear clothes that are two sizes too small so thier fat gut will hang out in the area inbetween thier tiny pink top and black green hotpants, combined with 3kg's of makeup to cover thier acne covered skin from a diet of maccas and Horizon 50's and a pair of fuck-me-boots with a hot pick string G string and no bra, so to sum it up, they usually look like hookers of the $30 an hour vairety. Once you find a group of these lovely young females you entice them over to your "wheels" either via the half an ounce of weed you have left or through a couple of cans, this is usually the hardest bit, once you have them in the car its usually plain sailing, first of all you cut a lap with your two mates and 4 girls in the car to show off your fine catch then you head off to the nearest quiet spot, usually the local footy club carpark, get the girls drunk and possibly stoned which shouldnt be too hard, then proceed to have sex with one of the skanky bitches in the bushes.

Step Five: The girl you proceeded to nail that night in the bushes of the footy club carpark has been seeing you more and more lately and you are enjoying yourself, untill you notice that she is getting a little fatter than usual and it sure isnt winter yet. Around 5 months after that fateful night she deicdes to tell you that she is pregnant and its with your baby, as all of the other guys she has slammed in that five months have worn condoms. You dont know what to do so you do what you think your father would have done, you dump her ass on the road and get the fuck out of there. Only its not that simple, she knows where you live and constantly hounds you to take care of the baby to be, so you get roped into having a 15 year old girlfriend pregnant with your soon to be deformed kid, as she has not stopped smoking/drinking/stoning.

Step Six: Ten years go past and you must be driving a new and improved boonger (read: vn commodore) you are still with the same girl that roped you into the defacto relationship, even tho she is fatter, uglier and still wears the same size clothes. You must be a raging alcoholic and a normal morning consists cracking a can of woodstock burbon and washing it down with a Horizon. Then its off to the centrelink office to collet your pay and to explain why you cant work again this week, after ten years of this the guys behind the counter (who have since moved up to upper management) might get a little suspect so remeber to rotate the excuses on 3 month rotational basis, also remeber you get more now becuase your "missus" now has 4 kids and you are renting your fabulous 2 bedroom flat in elizabeth downs.

Congratulations, if you follow these steps to the letter then you will surely become the "ALPHA BOGAN" and be respected by all your bogan peers.

Im pretty sure this will not offend anyone as bogans cant afford the cost of the internet let alone a computer, but one day they might see it if centrelink put in some of those free access computers in thier local branch Smile

  Send a private message to this user    

SubjectPosterDate
Read Message   Boganism 101  MR 1JZThu, 03 March 2005 05:34
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Dirty_SanchezThu, 03 March 2005 05:42
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Simon-AE86Thu, 03 March 2005 05:45
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 EvanThu, 03 March 2005 05:46
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 MookieThu, 03 March 2005 05:46
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 hickoz_broThu, 03 March 2005 06:37
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 MR 1JZThu, 03 March 2005 06:56
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 hickoz_broThu, 03 March 2005 06:57
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Cressida ChickThu, 03 March 2005 07:02
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Simon-AE86Thu, 03 March 2005 08:25
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 unforgivenThu, 03 March 2005 06:07
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Hi-AceThu, 03 March 2005 06:24
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 MR 1JZThu, 03 March 2005 06:31
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 NolanThu, 03 March 2005 06:31
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Hi-AceThu, 03 March 2005 06:49
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 unforgivenThu, 03 March 2005 10:06
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 unforgivenThu, 03 March 2005 10:31
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 mickThu, 03 March 2005 11:31
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 hickoz_broThu, 03 March 2005 12:24
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 rthyThu, 03 March 2005 13:45
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 AussieThu, 03 March 2005 14:46
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 AussieThu, 03 March 2005 14:48
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Hi-AceThu, 03 March 2005 19:56
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 rthyFri, 04 March 2005 01:32
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 mickFri, 04 March 2005 08:22
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 ra23madFri, 04 March 2005 02:27
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 ke382TGFri, 04 March 2005 02:46
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 hickoz_broFri, 04 March 2005 03:57
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 riverMon, 07 March 2005 09:54
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Corona RT142Fri, 04 March 2005 03:59
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 JorrsFri, 04 March 2005 09:37
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Cressida ChickFri, 04 March 2005 09:57
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 IndiFri, 04 March 2005 12:52
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 unforgivenMon, 07 March 2005 06:52
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 IndiMon, 07 March 2005 10:08
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 NolanMon, 07 March 2005 11:10
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 AE86slutMon, 07 March 2005 09:27
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 SEXY 16Mon, 07 March 2005 10:18
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 IndiMon, 07 March 2005 10:40
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 ToobsMon, 07 March 2005 11:42
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 NolanMon, 07 March 2005 11:50
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 ToobsMon, 07 March 2005 12:06
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 MR 1JZMon, 07 March 2005 12:07
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 hickoz_broMon, 07 March 2005 12:25
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 mickMon, 07 March 2005 12:27
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 THE WITZLMon, 07 March 2005 12:13
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 NolanTue, 08 March 2005 06:06
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 ViPeR_NiPPleXMon, 07 March 2005 12:27
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 TarkersMon, 07 March 2005 23:30
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 TarkersMon, 07 March 2005 23:32
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 mickTue, 08 March 2005 01:19
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 IndiThu, 24 March 2005 01:09
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 finneyThu, 24 March 2005 02:23
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 AzzaThu, 24 March 2005 09:31
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 Rona_DrifterWed, 13 April 2005 13:10
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 MR 1JZWed, 13 April 2005 14:59
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 81LOWLUXThu, 14 April 2005 01:40
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 MR 1JZThu, 14 April 2005 02:06
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 mk27mThu, 14 April 2005 09:21
Read Message   Re: Boganism 101 TRD_SupraThu, 14 April 2005 14:36
Previous Topic:this has to be dodgy
Next Topic:Suburbian Street Truck Parking Question

Goto Forum:
-=] Back to Top [=-

Current Time: Tue Mar 11 16:41:22 UTC 2025

Total time taken to generate the page: 0.010382890701294 seconds

Bandwidth utilization bar

.:: Contact :: Home ::.

Powered by: FUDforum 2.3.8
Copyright ©2001-2003 Advanced Internet Designs Inc.