Toymods Car Club Inc: General Car Talk => Sydney's Revised Road Rules (joke)

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HSV_gal
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I supported Toymods

Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002

Sydney's Revised Road Rules (joke)	Wed, 04 December 2002 22:57

Something that was Emailed to me last night that I thought was interesting. 1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Sydney driver never uses them. 2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front, or somebody else will fill that space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 3. Crossing over two lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow" 4. The faster you drive through a Red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit. 5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive body work. the Other guy doesn;t have anything to lose. 6. Breaking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the break pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs. 7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour. 8. Please remember that there is no such thing as a short cut during rush hour in Sydney. 9. Always slowdown and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. 10. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially 4WD drivers. 11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Sydney is the home of high speed slalom driving thanks to the RTA, which put potholes in key locations to test drivers reflexes and keep them on their toes. 12. It is traditional in Sydney to honk your horn at cars that don;t move the instant the light changes. 13. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way. 14. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding. 15. Remember the goal of every Sydney driver is to get there first, by whatever means possible. 16. Real Sydney women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at 75k/ph in bumper to bumper traffic. 17. Real Sydney men drivers and remove pantyhose and a bra at 75k/ph in bumper to bumper traffic. 18. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are gods way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales. 19. There is a common held belief in Sydney that high-speed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front. 20. It's OK to cut off fully loaded semitrailers,road trains and buses because they have brakes. 21. It is an essential duty of the driver to preserve the life of his passengers. Hence no matter how much of an inconvenience it may be, always find a detour around Mt Druitt, Redfern, Lakemba, Punchbowl, Cabramatta and Kings Cross. 22. Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one way street. 23. It's ok when driving in Sydneys Western suburbs to air your grievances at bad drivers by giving the "one finger salute" while screaming out "arsehole". But it is imperative you are driving a turbo charged 5 litre V8 with a crow bar in your lap. [Report message to a moderator]

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