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Location:
Cabramatta, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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 Asians
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Thu, 12 December 2002 03:04
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Just some fun for you guys. I laughed myself silly at these, especially the one about riceboys not being scared to die....
BAAAhaha!!
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Young Asians in Australia come in many forms. Below are the major categories. Most Asians fit into multiple groups. For example, Rice-boys can also be Fobs and many Tabs are Fobulous.
The only groups that are never part of another group are the Twinkies and the Asian-Australians. Claim your Fobbiness! When you see your Asian friend, greet them with "Wassup Fob!" And if your Asian friend says something ridiculous, say "Fob please!"
Of course, when a non-Asian calls you a Fob, that is grounds for a fight.
Ahahaha... The categories below are to be taken lightheartedly.
Read, recognize and laugh.
Twinkie / Banana
- Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
- Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
- You have few Asian friends, if any
- You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
- You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
- You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
- You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
- You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock
Asian-Australian
- You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you're whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
- You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
- You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your uni
- You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Jacky, or Andy are
- You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below
Fob (Fresh Off Boat)
- You were not born in Australia- You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Jacky, and Andy are. In fact, you have seen them at Sydney or Melbourne recently
- You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
- You do not have any non-Asian friends
- Your parents do not speak any English
- When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
- You get extremely good grades in school
- You cannot dance
- Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you're from and you incorporate nothing from Australian fashion into your wardrobe
SuperFob
- Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care
- You like dim sum chicken feet
- You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged
- Your only hangout is Chinatown
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent
- You dry your cloths outside your window
- You need a haircut
- You either smell like cigarettes or food
Fobabee
- You are an Asian-Australian or Twinkie who has recently "awoken"
- You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
- You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
- You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie ; Banana)
- If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous
Gangsta Fob
- You have shot another Asian
- Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
- When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
- Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them
- You have a serious gambling problem
- You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
- No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them
- You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs
Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)
- You shop at A/X
- You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to "mix it up"
- You do not weigh more than 45kgs
- You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
- Platform heels are your favorite
- You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
- You do not smile in public
- You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
- You smoke
- Your mobile phone is completely customized
- On the inside flip of your mobile phone is a sticker pic of you and your man
- Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
- You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car
- You are often seen with Rice-boys
- You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend
Hoochie Tab
- You are an import car model
- Your boobs are not real
- There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
- Stiletto heels are your favorite
- Your role models are Francine Dee and Kaila Yu
- Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
- You cheat on your boyfriend
- Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school
Rice-Boy
- You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
- Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it's original stock form
- Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
- The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
- The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
- You always drive like you are racing someone
- You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
- The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
- If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.
Fobulous
- You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
- You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
- You listen to Asian pop as well as Australian music
- You are equally aware of both popular Australian culture and Asian pop culture
- You are a good dancer
- You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
- You are a good designer and have superior Html skills
- You have an Apt107 page AND an AA page and the guest books in both are packed
- For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
- You have lots of Asian pride
the Roo-boy / Egg:
- Unfortunately you're white
- you drive an asian import
- your previous g/f have all been the sweet and sour flavour
- all your friends have slanty eyes (-_-)
- you frequent asian drinking shops sipping down pearl milk teas and QQ's reading HPI
- you often dine at Ghenki's
- Your asian linguistics are better than the twinkies you hang out with
- you spend long hours at night watching dirty manga porn aka la blue girl
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Formerly TRD_RoLLa
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Thu, 12 December 2002 12:29
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where'd u get this stuff?
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Location:
Eskilstuna, Sweden
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Thu, 12 December 2002 12:55
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A long read, but certainly an entertaining one.
Plus I would also like to know where you get this stuff?!
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Toymods Social Secretary
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: Asians
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Thu, 12 December 2002 16:30
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heehee... i know a roo-boy!! and a fobulous!!
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Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Thu, 12 December 2002 21:58
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| Nark wrote on Thu, 12 December 2002 14:04 |
Just some fun for you guys. I laughed myself silly at these, especially the one about riceboys not being scared to die....
BAAAhaha!!
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SuperFob
- Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care
- You like dim sum chicken feet
- You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged
- Your only hangout is Chinatown
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent
- You dry your cloths outside your window
- You need a haircut
- You either smell like cigarettes or food
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that'd be u yeh max ?
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
June 2002
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Re: Asians
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Thu, 12 December 2002 23:01
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Max,
I saw how long it was and wasnt gonna read it, but im glad i did its a good one
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Location:
Cabramatta, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Fri, 13 December 2002 01:15
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hehe Les, I don't wear microfibre pants with thongs, so I can't be a superfob.... 
I just get sent this stuff by lots of people. I seem to be a repository for this sort of stuff.... 
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Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Fri, 13 December 2002 07:42
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i guess im a banana ...and a bit of an australian asian
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Fri, 13 December 2002 12:29
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its funny. i have read it before. well at least the one for americans (note acura). but what i wanna know is what supra owner dreams of having a skyline? dirty nissan.
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Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Fri, 13 December 2002 12:52
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| Nark wrote on Fri, 13 December 2002 12:15 |
hehe Les, I don't wear microfibre pants with thongs, so I can't be a superfob....
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no can do max, u are a CABRA FOB - one in denial 
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Location:
Brisbane - Chapel Hill
Registered:
June 2002
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Re: Asians
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Fri, 13 December 2002 22:26
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Yeah, screw the nissan ...
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Location:
The Rainy City
Registered:
May 2002
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Location:
Central Coast, NSW
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: Asians
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Sat, 14 December 2002 03:55
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This is funny, but very accurate stuff. I think someone is going for a PHD in the Asian studies class at Sydney Uni themselves!!
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Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Sat, 14 December 2002 07:02
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OK I have to ask
What is Sanrio?
What is A/X?
What is a Apt107 page AND an AA page?
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Location:
Cabramatta, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Location:
The Rainy City
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Sun, 15 December 2002 03:09
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Im a bit confused though, not a single reference to Paris by Night??
cheers
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Location:
Cabramatta, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Sun, 15 December 2002 08:19
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haha Hoon, Paris By Night is a strictly Vietnamese thing...
Just like listening to Modern Talking and singing along to The Power of Lup (for the non-Vietnamese: Love) at weddings...
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Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Sun, 15 December 2002 12:48
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interesting concept
half of it is a bit too americanised, but depending where you
come from , fob means people from islander decent (maori, samoa and them places)
take mt druitt for example, no fob hondas, just fob vans usually old faded red taragos or other stuff like that,
has anyone seen FOBSTA i think its a black VT? drivin round, big islander looking dude , now if we were to put one strand of fobs verse another strand of fob, i think the mt druitt variety will prolly eat(not slang!) the cabra ones, and bullets BAH! they'd eat them too!
not top mention bogans!, why are us aussies to lazy to form gangs?????
me? i have come close to being an egg!!!
but not no more!
no mo lup for me yeah?
just having a laugh!!! 
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Location:
Perth - Cannington
Registered:
December 2002
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Re: Asians
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Sun, 15 December 2002 13:12
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*sigh*
Im an Egg.. Why am i an egg?
well, an egg in every other aspect other than the last
hmm... oh well.. it was a funny read.. LOL
I know people in just about every one of those categories.
hehehe
Katsuchiyo
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
June 2002
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Re: Asians
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Mon, 16 December 2002 16:23
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<raises arm> twinkie here!
fobsta looks scarey
the ghey 180 UNI80Y (or sum shit) looks scarier
hahahahahhaha
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Location:
The Rainy City
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Asians
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Tue, 17 December 2002 04:44
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what the? leave Modern Talking outta this!!! "Paree bah nah" isnt a patch on those 80s playboys
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