| Author | Topic |
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: Funny blond joke
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Sun, 07 December 2003 11:43
 
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heh heh i didnt get it at first! but hey dats just me! heres another:
>
> Beware
>
> 1. Moving in
>
> Before: she moves in, she wears teddies and
> suspenders, and you hold your
> farts in until she leaves the room.She's a
> gorgeous sex kitten and you tell her so.You're so
> sweet and adorable, and
> blowjobs follow ambient dinners like a fine port.
>
> After: she moves in, she farts in her grungy trackie
> bottom while
> hypnotized by Coronation Street; you scratch your nuts
> unashamedly and bitch about work.Oral sex is strictly
> quid pro quo and the
> new girl in the office really does have a great ass.
>
>
>
> 2. Addictions
>
> Before: You tell her you don't mind the occasional
> cold beer on a hot day
> with your mates, and that you've taken
> recreational drugs but those days are well and truly
> over.
>
> After: For the fifth night in a row you stagger in
> blotto, dig out your
> stash and skin up, pass out in the lounge in your
> underpants and expect her to accept that you're just
> being you
>
>
>
> 3. Bodily functions
>
> Before: You spray aerosol after a crap; piss on the
> side of the bowl to
> reduce noise and never, ever fart in her presence.
>
> After: You fart in front of her with impunity and
> obvious pride, commenting
> on the food intake for the day and speculating on the
> resultant odor.
> Despite repeated pleas to the contrary, you fart in
> bed and hold her
> head under the covers. You think it's hilarious.
>
>
> 4. Relations/Friends
>
> Before: Her auntie Jane is a real character with a
> lively personality and interesting
> views about politics, and her unemployed girlfriend
> Amanda is a genuine,
> charming supportive friend who you think is really
> nice.
>
> After: Auntie Jane is a loud-mouthed,
> pain-in-the-ass with all the personality of a cold
> sore. Amanda is a manipulative loser, but you wouldn't mind doing
> her
> if
> the opportunity arose.
>
>
> 5. Sex
>
> Before: Sex is a sweat-soaked, gymnastic romp that
> lasts for hours. You screw to impress, using all your
> tricks - your renowned tit grope, marathon oral sex
> sessions, and
> jackhammer-like screwing. Screwing four times a day is
> not uncommon.
>
> After: A wank is often preferable to the effort of
> sex. When you do have sex, you think about Amanda.
>
>
> 6. Attention span
>
> Before: Her words are hypnotic; her wit is incisive;
> her anecdotes about her life pre-you are
> spellbinding. Over candlelight and coffee you listen
> with interest and
> politely chortle as she recounts stories of her
> childhood.
>
> After: Your eyes glaze over as soon as she mentions
> anything that doesn't
> involve you. What's more, you develop the uncanny
> ability to be able to
> concentrate on the T.V and listen
> to her at the same time. The phrase, "Are you
> listening to me?"
> becomes an evening mantra.
>
>
> 7. What She Thinks
>
> Before: She thinks you are witty, disciplined, a
> sexual athlete, attentive,
> loving, faithful and devoid of all crass male habits
> which have plagued her previous relationships .....but
> she suspects
> that you're full of shit.
>
> After: She KNOWS you're full of shit!!
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| | Subject | Poster | Date |
|---|
 |
Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Wed, 03 December 2003 01:49 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
jezz | Wed, 03 December 2003 01:51 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Wed, 03 December 2003 01:57 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
jezz | Wed, 03 December 2003 02:02 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
kc_347 | Wed, 03 December 2003 02:31 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Wed, 03 December 2003 02:42 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
kc_347 | Wed, 03 December 2003 02:59 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:07 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Teenz | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:22 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
kc_347 | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:28 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
Teenz | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:33 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
NickAE86 | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:42 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
RobST162 | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:47 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
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NickAE86 | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:44 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
NickAE86 | Wed, 03 December 2003 03:47 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Evil_Foetus | Wed, 03 December 2003 04:11 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
kc_347 | Wed, 03 December 2003 06:38 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jayem | Wed, 03 December 2003 16:08 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Caledwvech | Wed, 03 December 2003 23:24 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Thu, 04 December 2003 01:00 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
kc_347 | Fri, 05 December 2003 15:45 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Sat, 06 December 2003 04:00 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
Toobs | Sat, 06 December 2003 04:41 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
DrExTc | Sat, 06 December 2003 05:39 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
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Jayem | Sat, 06 December 2003 13:23 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
DrExTc | Sun, 07 December 2003 11:43 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
GRLTOY | Wed, 10 December 2003 02:01 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
CrUZsida | Wed, 10 December 2003 02:27 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Wed, 10 December 2003 04:32 |
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
GRLTOY | Thu, 11 December 2003 01:32 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
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CrUZsida | Thu, 11 December 2003 01:39 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
GRLTOY | Thu, 11 December 2003 02:14 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
Jason | Thu, 11 December 2003 02:16 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
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NickAE86 | Thu, 11 December 2003 04:55 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
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Lucid | Thu, 11 December 2003 22:14 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
CLG | Fri, 12 December 2003 05:59 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
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NickAE86 | Fri, 12 December 2003 06:18 |
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Re: Funny blond joke
|
GRLTOY | Fri, 12 December 2003 23:35 |
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) 2 Vote(s)
