| Author | Topic |
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Location:
Campbelltown
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: cops
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Tue, 28 September 2004 02:18
 
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Rectum Stretcher
While I was driving down the M4 the other day, going a little faster than I should have been, I passed under a bridge just near Slough only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun lying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked "Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh? And what do you do?" he asked.
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge."
Speeding ticket: £60.00 Court costs: £140.00 Look on copper's face: Priceless.
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| | Subject | Poster | Date |
|---|
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cops
|
Corona RT142 | Tue, 07 September 2004 05:40 |
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Re: cops
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dimmy77_03 | Tue, 07 September 2004 09:39 |
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Re: cops
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Conquest | Tue, 07 September 2004 09:52 |
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Re: cops
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alwaysRA23 | Tue, 07 September 2004 10:03 |
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Re: cops
|
draven | Tue, 07 September 2004 11:32 |
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Re: cops
|
alwaysRA23 | Tue, 07 September 2004 11:45 |
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Re: cops
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4DaDrift | Fri, 01 October 2004 16:28 |
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Re: cops
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dimmy77_03 | Tue, 07 September 2004 12:52 |
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Re: cops
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Evan | Tue, 07 September 2004 13:07 |
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Re: cops
|
MR 1JZ | Wed, 08 September 2004 08:39 |
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Re: cops
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mick | Sun, 12 September 2004 03:34 |
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Re: cops
|
MR 1JZ | Sun, 12 September 2004 03:42 |
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Re: cops
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mick | Sun, 12 September 2004 04:16 |
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Re: cops
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b1gb3n | Sun, 19 September 2004 11:04 |
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Re: cops
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MR 1JZ | Mon, 20 September 2004 02:50 |
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Re: cops
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dimmy77_03 | Mon, 20 September 2004 10:46 |
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Re: cops
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jim8o | Mon, 20 September 2004 11:20 |
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Re: cops
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MR 1JZ | Mon, 20 September 2004 12:05 |
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Re: cops
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mick | Sat, 25 September 2004 11:57 |
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Re: cops
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Evan | Sat, 25 September 2004 23:03 |
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Re: cops
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mick | Sun, 26 September 2004 00:15 |
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Re: cops
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TUB-11Y | Sun, 26 September 2004 04:10 |
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Re: cops
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Evan | Sun, 26 September 2004 08:17 |
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Re: cops
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MR 1JZ | Sun, 26 September 2004 22:55 |
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Re: cops
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bathurst-91 | Sun, 10 October 2004 02:52 |
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Re: cops
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M.J.H | Sun, 10 October 2004 10:59 |
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Re: cops
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WiLo | Mon, 11 October 2004 00:54 |
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Re: cops
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Conquest | Tue, 07 September 2004 13:16 |
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Re: cops
|
Goose | Wed, 15 September 2004 04:05 |
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Re: cops
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jesseT18 | Mon, 20 September 2004 12:12 |
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Re: cops
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thu187 | Sat, 09 October 2004 12:27 |
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Re: cops
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woznoz | Mon, 27 September 2004 03:42 |
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Re: cops
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Corona RT142 | Tue, 28 September 2004 02:18 |
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Re: cops
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asdfgh | Fri, 15 October 2004 03:26 |
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Re: cops
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MR 1JZ | Tue, 28 September 2004 08:10 |
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Re: cops
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Arch | Tue, 28 September 2004 10:18 |
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Re: cops
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Mookie | Sat, 02 October 2004 12:05 |
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Re: cops
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mick | Sat, 02 October 2004 23:45 |
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Re: cops
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dgale86 | Sun, 03 October 2004 19:31 |
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Re: cops
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xolent | Mon, 04 October 2004 08:23 |
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Re: cops
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KRD23Q | Wed, 06 October 2004 12:19 |
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Re: cops
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thu187 | Sat, 09 October 2004 12:33 |
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Re: cops
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kayot1k | Thu, 07 October 2004 11:33 |
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Re: cops
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jesseT18 | Sat, 09 October 2004 14:02 |
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Re: cops
|
peeack | Sat, 09 October 2004 15:06 |
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Re: cops
|
Corona RT142 | Mon, 11 October 2004 00:57 |
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Re: cops
|
mick | Tue, 12 October 2004 07:13 |
