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muaythaiman Regular Location: Sydney Registered: August 2004	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread) Fri, 16 September 2005 23:47 These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Emjoy............ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one year old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. [Report message to a moderator]

	Subject	Poster	Date
	Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:29
	Re: Girls Night Out	ae80	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:42
	Re: Girls Night Out	dimmy77_03	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:46
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:48
	Re: Girls Night Out	Shraka	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:49
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:54
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:55
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 13:58
	Re: Girls Night Out	xolent	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:49
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:01
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:03
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:05
	Re: Girls Night Out	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:06
	Re: Girls Night Out	dimmy77_03	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:07
	Re: Girls Night Out	Malicia	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:09
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:11
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:23
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	CoronaC	Tue, 23 August 2005 06:16
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:25
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:36
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	johne	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:38
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:39
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	skellator	Mon, 22 August 2005 21:49
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Corona RT142	Tue, 23 August 2005 00:12
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:40
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Mon, 22 August 2005 14:51
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mynameisrodney	Mon, 22 August 2005 20:43
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	draven	Mon, 22 August 2005 23:38
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	rthy	Tue, 23 August 2005 00:08
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Yian	Tue, 23 August 2005 03:14
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	WantaTurbo	Tue, 23 August 2005 05:13
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	RobST162	Tue, 23 August 2005 05:24
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Tue, 23 August 2005 01:16
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	WantaTurbo	Tue, 23 August 2005 01:26
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Corona RT142	Tue, 23 August 2005 01:30
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Tue, 23 August 2005 04:49
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Tue, 23 August 2005 05:21
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Evan	Tue, 23 August 2005 05:36
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Tue, 23 August 2005 05:41
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	meeves	Tue, 23 August 2005 05:58
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	stradlater	Tue, 23 August 2005 06:03
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	magicmitch	Tue, 23 August 2005 07:41
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Sprinter-Saurus	Tue, 23 August 2005 11:11
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	AW11 no Jitsu	Tue, 23 August 2005 11:55
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mynameisrodney	Tue, 23 August 2005 12:02
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	GZ20TT	Wed, 24 August 2005 01:06
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	PHOBIA	Wed, 24 August 2005 03:05
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	CrUZsida	Wed, 24 August 2005 03:13
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	MarioM	Wed, 24 August 2005 23:26
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	WantaTurbo	Thu, 25 August 2005 01:33
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	dimmy77_03	Thu, 25 August 2005 08:17
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	paulst162	Fri, 26 August 2005 10:21
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	roids70	Sat, 27 August 2005 23:28
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Paranoid Android	Sun, 28 August 2005 02:05
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	forced_induction	Sun, 28 August 2005 10:31
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	RCNIZE	Sun, 28 August 2005 11:40
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Paranoid Android	Sun, 28 August 2005 15:41
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	RobertoX	Sun, 28 August 2005 22:35
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	roids70	Tue, 30 August 2005 01:55
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Corona RT142	Tue, 30 August 2005 02:04
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mynameisrodney	Tue, 30 August 2005 02:07
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	roids70	Tue, 30 August 2005 02:14
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Squid	Tue, 30 August 2005 04:10
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mynameisrodney	Tue, 30 August 2005 04:51
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	cycleofabuse	Tue, 30 August 2005 07:05
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Evan	Tue, 06 September 2005 03:43
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Corona RT142	Tue, 30 August 2005 04:54
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mz21_shiznac	Tue, 30 August 2005 11:02
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	forced_induction	Wed, 31 August 2005 12:11
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Squid	Tue, 06 September 2005 02:32
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	smt_007	Tue, 06 September 2005 02:46
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Corona RT142	Wed, 31 August 2005 12:38
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mynameisrodney	Wed, 31 August 2005 12:41
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Wed, 31 August 2005 14:55
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Wed, 31 August 2005 14:57
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Wed, 31 August 2005 14:58
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	PMP020	Sat, 03 September 2005 11:59
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	corona crew	Sun, 04 September 2005 05:43
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mk27m	Sun, 04 September 2005 09:58
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Sun, 04 September 2005 11:07
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mynameisrodney	Sun, 04 September 2005 12:11
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Jorrs	Sun, 04 September 2005 12:41
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Paranoid Android	Sun, 04 September 2005 12:44
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	corona crew	Mon, 05 September 2005 06:48
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	smt_007	Mon, 05 September 2005 12:37
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	bigg willie style	Mon, 05 September 2005 13:25
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	EldarO	Mon, 05 September 2005 13:43
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	peewee	Tue, 06 September 2005 13:26
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	forced_induction	Wed, 07 September 2005 02:36
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mk27m	Thu, 08 September 2005 09:25
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Dr_Love	Fri, 09 September 2005 00:15
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Ribfeast	Fri, 09 September 2005 03:05
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	WantaTurbo	Wed, 14 September 2005 23:31
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	WantaTurbo	Wed, 14 September 2005 23:37
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	WantaTurbo	Wed, 14 September 2005 23:44
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	mynameisrodney	Wed, 14 September 2005 23:44
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	MarioM	Wed, 14 September 2005 23:48
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	WantaTurbo	Wed, 14 September 2005 23:52
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	Corona RT142	Wed, 14 September 2005 23:58
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	72PASSEDU	Thu, 15 September 2005 00:14
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	72PASSEDU	Thu, 15 September 2005 00:35
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	cjg_6	Fri, 16 September 2005 14:00
	Re: Girls Night Out (funnys thread)	muaythaiman	Fri, 16 September 2005 23:47

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