| Author | Topic |
|---|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
 Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 01:49
|
 |
A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar
stool
and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the
bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky
voice, the
woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's
fair -
given that you are blind - that you know five things:
#1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
#2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
#3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
#4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weight
lifter.
#5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
January 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 01:51
|
|
Ahhh you make me laugh 
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 01:57
|
|
|
Thats it my day is now complete
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
January 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 02:02
|
|
|
Good work soggy shrub
|
|
|
Location:
Dominica
Registered:
May 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 02:31
|
|
Here is another blonde joke
Norman and his wife live in Calgary. One winter morning while listening
to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10
centimeters of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered
side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are
eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12
centimeters of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered
side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are
having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting
12 to 14 centimeters of snow today. You must park..........." the n the
electric power goes out.
Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she
says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snowplow can get through?
With the love and understanding in his voice like all of us men who are
married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in
the garage this time?"
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 02:42
|
|
Nice heres another one while were on a roll....
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed:
"I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother".
The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect)."Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
"Well then, just follow me", said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did. He then said
"Now get on your knees."
She did.
"Now take down my zipper".
She did.
"Now go ahead ... take it out...." he said.
She reached in and grabbed it with both hands then paused.
The man closed his eyes and whispered
"Well............ go ahead".
The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said...........
"Hello. Mom, can you hear me?"
|
|
|
Location:
Dominica
Registered:
May 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 02:59
|
|
good one man!!!!LMAO...
Here is another one!
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully, with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:07
|
|
OK im going to keep this going because im laughing so hard.
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She says,"What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:22
|
|
Here's my contribution....guess I should be careful as I have a substantial amount of blonde in my hair......
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
|
|
|
Location:
Dominica
Registered:
May 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:28
|
|
OMG!!!you guys are killing me....LMAO!!!
I have another one:
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer,"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references-no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought blondes were dumb...
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:33
|
|
Hahahahahaha, this is so funny, have to see if we can make this the longest blonde joke thread...
Here's another one,
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggled and replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
|
|
|
Location:
Brisvegas
Registered:
June 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:42
|
|
while we're at it heres my 2c 
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself
out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy
neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and
asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can
paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told
her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the
garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation
and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes
all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her
money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered,
"and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed,
the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the
blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
|
|
|
Location:
Brisvegas
Registered:
June 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:44
|
|
and another
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a
blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she
move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The
blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York
and I'm not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked
the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman
asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again,
the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New
York and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit
and asked the captain what to do about her.
The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to
handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered
in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the
economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say
so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he
said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He
said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New
York.
|
|
|
Location:
Brisvegas
Registered:
June 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:47
|
|
make it a dollar
A blonde was driving home and got caught in a really bad hail storm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate,another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her
how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,
"HELLLLLOOOOO ... you need to roll up the windows first!"
|
|
|
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
April 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 03:47
|
|
|
eeeeh whoops
|
|
|
Location:
Ballarat, Victoria
Registered:
March 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 04:11
|
|
|
|
|
|
Location:
Dominica
Registered:
May 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 06:38
|
|
I liked that one about the flight......LMAO
Here is another joke:
Three dead blondes were talking to St. Peter.
He said, "I have one question and if you get it right, I will let you into heaven." So he asked the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answered, "Oh, that's that one time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."
St. Peter just shook his head and asked the next blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answered, "Oh, that is the time of year when our family gets together and we all open presents, and the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney."
Again, St. Peter just shook his head. He asked the third blonde, "What is Easter?"
She replied, "Oh that's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb and rolled a rock in front of it."
St. Peter smiled and urged, "Yes... go on..."
The blonde continued, "Then once a year we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter."
|
|
|
Location:
Finland
Registered:
November 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 16:08
|
|
This might be old.
Bloke parks his car in front of gas-stations cafeteria to go and have cafe. He locks doors of his car and immediately notices that he left keys into the ingnition lock. He became very anxious. It took hour and a half from him to break in to get the blond out.
|
|
|
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
June 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 03 December 2003 23:24
|
|
|
LOL. Nice ones
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Thu, 04 December 2003 01:00
|
|
|
|
|
|
Location:
Dominica
Registered:
May 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Fri, 05 December 2003 15:45
|
|
Common guys don't tell me that you all out of jokes!!!!!
here is another one:---------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
A blonde goes into the local auto parts store and asks for a seven ten cap.
All the guys look at each other and say, "What's a seven ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" they ask, thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she says it's a Buick. "Okay lady, how big is it?" She makes a circle with her hands about 3-1/2 inches in diameter. "What does it do?" they ask.
She says, "I don't know, but it has always been there."
One of the guys gives her a notepad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3-1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.
The guys behind the counter look at it upside down as she writes it... and they just fall down behind the counter laughing hysterically.
(Draw a circle, write 710 in the middle of it, and turn it around.)
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Sat, 06 December 2003 04:00
|
|
ok not a blond joke but a goodie anyway
> >A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to
> >an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices
> >she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it
> >and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual
> >statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average
> >penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my
> >name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to
> >meet you."
|
|
|
I Supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Sat, 06 December 2003 04:41
|
|
Heres a couple..
Number 1:
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the
captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has
failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an
hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has
failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't
worry, we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed
and our arrival will be delayed another three hours, but don't worry
- we still have one engine left."
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and
remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
Number 2:
Two tourists were driving through Nova Scotia. As they were approaching Tatamagouche, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee," Before we order, could
you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where
we are...very slowly?"
The blonde leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr ..... gerrrrrr ........ Kiiiing!
Number 3:
Bubba and Joe Bob (blondes) were dragging their dead deer back
to their car...Another experienced hunter approached pulling his
along too.
"Hey, guys, I don't want to tell you how to do something, but
I can tell you that it's sure easier if you drag the deer in the
other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the boys decided to give it a try.
A little while later Bubba said to Joe Bob, "You know, that guy
was right. This is a lot easier!"
Joe Bob said, "Yep... but we're getting farther and farther away
from the truck!"
Number 4:
A blonde is visiting Washington, DC...This is her first time to the
city, so she wants to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she
can't find it, so she asks a police officer for directions. "Excuse
me, officer," The blonde says, "How do I get to the Capitol building?"
The officer says, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus.
It'll take you right there." The blonde thanks the officer and he
drives off. Three hours later the police officer comes back to the same area, and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at
the same bus stop. The officer gets out of his car and says, "Excuse
me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the
number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde says, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th
bus just went by!"
Number 5:
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the
road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
|
|
|
Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Sat, 06 December 2003 05:39
|
|
aww yeah props out to the polish blokez!
getting tired of the blonde jokes, plus dont wan2 offend teenz so for a change, here r a list of things to do in teh office!
ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say, Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
 Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9) While riding a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE-POINTS DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent.
As in" the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
9)In a colleague_s diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
10)Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
trade?".
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12)Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".
13)Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14)Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
smash each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
And if that wasn't enough for you...
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL
FAVOURS".
7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
Don't use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
|
|
|
Location:
Finland
Registered:
November 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Sat, 06 December 2003 13:23
|
|
DrExTc: few more.
Say to your boss that, voices coming from his head doesnt bother you much.
Add "that's what you think" to every thing what your boss says.
Say every thing in the "preacher style" and use lots of quotes and words from the Bible.
Hear's a joke.
Missionary was traveling on a boat in the very deepest of black afrika. He had a native as a rower and a guide. They were going upstream to the regions that white man hasnt gone before. All of a sudden native strats laughing, pointing and chatter. missionary looks the way that naitve point and he sees a young couple having sex on a river bank. Missionary blushes and explains to the native that thats not fubby and he should not think that as a sex but rather think it as a man driving moped or something like that. Native gets silence. Next day they see another native couple having sex. This time native takes silently a blow pipe and blows a poisonous dart that hits into mans neck. Man instantly dies and falls off a woman. Missionary is like WTF and looks the native. Native just says "my moped".
|
|
|
Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Sun, 07 December 2003 11:43
|
|
heh heh i didnt get it at first! but hey dats just me! heres another:
>
> Beware
>
> 1. Moving in
>
> Before: she moves in, she wears teddies and
> suspenders, and you hold your
> farts in until she leaves the room.She's a
> gorgeous sex kitten and you tell her so.You're so
> sweet and adorable, and
> blowjobs follow ambient dinners like a fine port.
>
> After: she moves in, she farts in her grungy trackie
> bottom while
> hypnotized by Coronation Street; you scratch your nuts
> unashamedly and bitch about work.Oral sex is strictly
> quid pro quo and the
> new girl in the office really does have a great ass.
>
>
>
> 2. Addictions
>
> Before: You tell her you don't mind the occasional
> cold beer on a hot day
> with your mates, and that you've taken
> recreational drugs but those days are well and truly
> over.
>
> After: For the fifth night in a row you stagger in
> blotto, dig out your
> stash and skin up, pass out in the lounge in your
> underpants and expect her to accept that you're just
> being you
>
>
>
> 3. Bodily functions
>
> Before: You spray aerosol after a crap; piss on the
> side of the bowl to
> reduce noise and never, ever fart in her presence.
>
> After: You fart in front of her with impunity and
> obvious pride, commenting
> on the food intake for the day and speculating on the
> resultant odor.
> Despite repeated pleas to the contrary, you fart in
> bed and hold her
> head under the covers. You think it's hilarious.
>
>
> 4. Relations/Friends
>
> Before: Her auntie Jane is a real character with a
> lively personality and interesting
> views about politics, and her unemployed girlfriend
> Amanda is a genuine,
> charming supportive friend who you think is really
> nice.
>
> After: Auntie Jane is a loud-mouthed,
> pain-in-the-ass with all the personality of a cold
> sore. Amanda is a manipulative loser, but you wouldn't mind doing
> her
> if
> the opportunity arose.
>
>
> 5. Sex
>
> Before: Sex is a sweat-soaked, gymnastic romp that
> lasts for hours. You screw to impress, using all your
> tricks - your renowned tit grope, marathon oral sex
> sessions, and
> jackhammer-like screwing. Screwing four times a day is
> not uncommon.
>
> After: A wank is often preferable to the effort of
> sex. When you do have sex, you think about Amanda.
>
>
> 6. Attention span
>
> Before: Her words are hypnotic; her wit is incisive;
> her anecdotes about her life pre-you are
> spellbinding. Over candlelight and coffee you listen
> with interest and
> politely chortle as she recounts stories of her
> childhood.
>
> After: Your eyes glaze over as soon as she mentions
> anything that doesn't
> involve you. What's more, you develop the uncanny
> ability to be able to
> concentrate on the T.V and listen
> to her at the same time. The phrase, "Are you
> listening to me?"
> becomes an evening mantra.
>
>
> 7. What She Thinks
>
> Before: She thinks you are witty, disciplined, a
> sexual athlete, attentive,
> loving, faithful and devoid of all crass male habits
> which have plagued her previous relationships .....but
> she suspects
> that you're full of shit.
>
> After: She KNOWS you're full of shit!!
|
|
|
Location:
In Little Italy ;)
Registered:
December 2003
|
 Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 10 December 2003 02:01
|
|
I like it...
I like it alot...
and I'm blonde 
every blonde enjoys a joke...even tho she herself might be the joke...but hey...
us blondes are only acting dumb so men can feel adequate...
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 10 December 2003 02:27
|
|
| GRLTOY wrote on Wed, 10 December 2003 10:01 |
us blondes are only acting dumb so men can feel adequate...
|
Now thats a big call
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Wed, 10 December 2003 04:32
|
|
|
Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks." The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, "Bow-wow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, "Meow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the blonde said, "Potatoes."
|
|
|
Location:
In Little Italy ;)
Registered:
December 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Thu, 11 December 2003 01:32
|
|
CrUZida...perceived pseudo-intellectualism which is generally stereotyped to the blondes of society doesn't really wash with me...
I've been blonde for the whole 19 years of my life, completed my HSC with admirable marks and am currently a year off completing B. Info Sci. mjr Info Sys. mjr HRM...
Anything else???
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Thu, 11 December 2003 01:39
|
|
|
Yeah I know GRLTOY, I was just givin ya shit
|
|
|
Location:
In Little Italy ;)
Registered:
December 2003
|
|
|
Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Thu, 11 December 2003 02:16
|
|
So GRLTOY got any good jokes? 
|
|
|
Location:
Brisvegas
Registered:
June 2003
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Toymods Club Secretary
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Thu, 11 December 2003 22:14
|
|
|
Dude - do you realise that's the second time you've repeated other people's jokes??
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Perth, Western Australia
Registered:
December 2002
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Fri, 12 December 2003 05:59
|
|
A blonde and her boyfriend are fooling around one night, when he asks for a handjob. "Oh, I've never given one of them before, how do you do it?" enquires the blonde. "It's easy, it's just like shaking up a bottle of champagne, and watching it fizz out" replied the guy.
She starts going for it, the guy enjoying the stimulation. Not long after, the guy's head drops back, his eyes roll back into his head, and his jaw drops. Seeing all this, the blonde asks, "What's the matter, am I doing something wrong?". The guy replied back "TAKE YOUR THUMB OFF THE END!!!"
|
|
|
Location:
Brisvegas
Registered:
June 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Fri, 12 December 2003 06:18
|
|
| Quote: |
Dude - do you realise that's the second time you've repeated other people's jokes??
|
lol....my bad...i spose i should read every post properly before i start clicking away.
i was feeling a little blond...sorry guys 
|
|
|
Location:
In Little Italy ;)
Registered:
December 2003
|
|
Re: Funny blond joke
|
Fri, 12 December 2003 23:35
|
|
Hmmmz...
*thinks*
Q: What do u call six blondes standing in a circle?
A: A dope ring...
Hehehe...
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men?
A: Their ankles
|
|
|
| Current Time:
Sun May 19 12:56:57 UTC 2024 |
Total time taken to generate the page: 0.0078349113464355 seconds |
) 2 Vote(s)
