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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 18 December 2003 09:24
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Some lame jokes found in Christmas crackers
Why did the apple turn over?
Because it saw the cheese roll.
Where will you always find diamonds?
In a pack of cards.
Oh and I got a plastic squirrel
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
February 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 18 December 2003 09:30
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dude
theres still a week to go...
what are you doing cracking crackers already?
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 18 December 2003 09:32
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I wanted the cracky bit inside for a practical joke
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
February 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 18 December 2003 09:45
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crackers are fun
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 18 December 2003 13:37
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I always used to gently untwist the cracker and tip out the goodies then retwist it and put it back on the table... My family thought they were duds. 
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
February 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 18 December 2003 13:46
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i always liked the hang fires... the one that only went off as the table smart-arse was closely peering down into the cracker wondering why the thing didn't go off..
... yep, i can see a bit of <LOUD BANG> fuck! holy shit!! that bloody thing went off in my goddam face, stupid cracker, bloody dangerous things...
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Location:
Brisvegas
Registered:
June 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Fri, 19 December 2003 02:32
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i cracked one the other day...damn dodgy gunpowder
"what happened to the frog with no legs...he had to be toad away"
 
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Registered:
December 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Fri, 19 December 2003 16:50
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I never get anything but plastic key chain things. Oh, and puzzles with, like, 8 pieces.
lady aigburth
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Sat, 20 December 2003 02:17
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now heres what u do for a bit of fun, get 11 crackers untwist 10 crackers, combine them into one super cracker, make sure the bratty kid at the table gets it (cmon theres always one, otherwise just giv to gran, shes, just make sure her hearing aid is switched off) and they wil hav a cracker of a time 
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Sun, 21 December 2003 03:13
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Just like that Mr Bean christmas episode
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Sun, 21 December 2003 07:08
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Q. When is the best time to go to bed?
A. When the bed won't come to you.
Q. What has a pelican got incommon with the water Company?
A. They both have large bills.
Q. What did Caessar say when Brutus stabbed him?
A. Ouch
and a plastic lobster
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Sun, 21 December 2003 07:10
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Q. What do you call two spider who just got married?
A. Newly Webs.
and a Fat Mouse
One joke and a mouse what a rip off
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Sun, 21 December 2003 07:15
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Q. Do you know how to make a Bandstand?
A Take away their charirs.
a Maths equation and a rhino
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Sun, 21 December 2003 07:17
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hehehe I know have 6 cracker thingys to make one huge one. 
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
June 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Mon, 22 December 2003 00:56
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Once we went camping, and they had a whole heap of those banger things. The sort that you pull the cord and all the streamers come out. Anyway, you cut the top off them and then tie about 10 of them together. Then with your mate (who has done the same) wait until about 2am when everyone is asleep, creep into the tent and pull very hard. Priceless 
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Mon, 22 December 2003 01:02
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or, you can get those party poppers, pull the gunpowder out. Then get a pen, and take the ink out. put the gunpowder string in, with the string out where you usually write from, then put a ball bearing in on top of that.
instant hand cannon  (metal pens work better - I've broken more than 1 plastic one)
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Mon, 22 December 2003 05:22
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| draven wrote on Mon, 22 December 2003 12:02 |
or, you can get those party poppers, pull the gunpowder out. Then get a pen, and take the ink out. put the gunpowder string in, with the string out where you usually write from, then put a ball bearing in on top of that.
instant hand cannon (metal pens work better - I've broken more than 1 plastic one)
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we used to do this in primary school but with elastic bands instead of popper strings, them things is dangerous 
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Mon, 22 December 2003 08:05
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another priceless school activity:
shining ur watch at pple, u have to get window desk to do this tho, and a nice shiny watch, preferably with diamonds for increased annoyance and/or chance of recieving detention/head kicked in
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Location:
In Little Italy ;)
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 25 December 2003 08:11
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mannn u guys musta had nothing better to do @ skool hey...
some of us bothered with education and stuff...
hmmmmz....
I missed out on the crackers 
didn't get to pull ANYTHING 
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Thu, 25 December 2003 13:22
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| Quote: |
didn't get to pull ANYTHING
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wel thats a shame cos i can think of plenty of things to pull, used to, only guyz wuld do it, but now girls can to, yup everyone luvz to pull a long knob into second and thrash an excel, why dont u try it today?
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Location:
In Little Italy ;)
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Fri, 26 December 2003 00:36
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I been tryin that for a while...
dun bring enjoyment or amusement anymore
I prefer passenger drifting 
full sick drift from the full sick drift king daddy of them all ....iiiii like it but it hasn't happened in a while I'm starting to miss my drift ...
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Fri, 26 December 2003 01:38
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wel thats great, why dont u take me for s spin
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Location:
In Little Italy ;)
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: Christmas Cracker Comedy
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Sat, 27 December 2003 11:53
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hahaha...does front wheels drive mean anything to you???
my honda doesn't drift and the likelihood and chance of anyone ever making it drift...would be highly likely if I gave it to someone with idle curiosity and half a decent sized brain..........
but im not that mean, i be a good mother...don't let anyone violate her baby not now.....not for a lonnnnng while till its not mine anymore!
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