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I supported Toymods
Location:
Plumpton/sydney
Registered:
November 2003
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JOKES
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Sun, 18 July 2004 12:26
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Has anybody got a GOOD joke to tell
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I supported Toymods
Toymods Club Secretary
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Sun, 18 July 2004 12:58
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Two elephants walked off a cliff..
*boom boom*
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Sun, 18 July 2004 13:09
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No.
ha ha ha ha ha ha. 
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2004
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Sun, 18 July 2004 19:02
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why did the koala fall out of the tree.....
give up?
IT WAS DEAD 
why did the second koala fall out of the tree
it was holding on to the first one
why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
it was dead to
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Location:
Northmead
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Sun, 18 July 2004 22:39
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PMSFLMAO at the Rockpapersaddam.
What a laugh.
Even my Grilfriend loved it.
Andrij
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Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 02:08
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 That saddam thing is funny ass
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Official Cruise Dude
Location:
liverpool
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 03:39
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i have so many jokes that u can name a subject & i will have a joke 4 it. i cant spell well and i do a lot of accents so it better 4 me 2 do it in front of u!
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 03:44
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A seal walked into a club.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 04:33
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wat do you call an aboriginal driving a red ferrari?
a thief
wat do you call 2 aboriginals driving 2 red ferrari's?
thieves
wat do you call 3 aboriginals driving 3 red ferrari's?
organised crime
wats long and black?
a line at center link
phill rup ( say it fast )
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Location:
Girraween,Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 04:58
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Why didn't the cat eat it's food???
It's face was stapled to the floor, 
Cheers,
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 05:03
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| UUP-46X wrote on Mon, 19 July 2004 14:58 |
Why didn't the cat eat it's food???
It's face was stapled to the floor,
Cheers,
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I don't like cats... They suck.
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Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 07:56
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What do you call an aborigine driving a mercedes?
Bus driver
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Location:
Tassie
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 19 July 2004 13:13
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has anybody hear the rodney rude song i hate cats ?
it's sooooooo funny.
"if i could be the primeminister and that's debatable
I'd pass a law to make cats in flatable
then lay around on a beach all day
talking 2 ur mates in a casual way
about how many waves you caught with your cat.
And if u want to sail the sea
smack ur cat against a tree
strech him out like an elastic band
and use him for a catermaran.
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Official Cruise Dude
Location:
liverpool
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 20 July 2004 10:58
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NO the Keven bloody Wilson song living next door 2 Alan is funny
shit
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Location:
Rowville, Victoria
Registered:
April 2003
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Location:
Finland
Registered:
November 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 20 July 2004 16:04
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What is Moscowian elevator like?
Chechen rebel pushes the button and 9 floors comes down...
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Location:
Behind you
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 20 July 2004 17:48
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| Jayem wrote on Wed, 21 July 2004 02:04 |
What is Moscowian elevator like?
Chechen rebel pushes the button and 9 floors comes down...
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Thats harsh.
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Location:
Behind you
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 20 July 2004 17:52
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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together.
The chicken pulls out a cigarette and lights it and says
"Well that answers that one."
Two Irish men are on an iceberg in the middle of the North Atlantic at night.
One of them says "Look, we're saved, here comes the Titanic."
They're my two favourite jokes. But no-one seems to find them as funny as i do.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 01:30
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At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true", he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "sir please answer the question".
"Oh", the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you!"
One day, a pirate ship is cruising the seas off the coast of England when the scout yells, "There's a English ship on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, who valiantly says, "Bring me my red shirt." The captain dons the shirt and the British ship commences the attack. The captain and his men fight valiantly and crush the British attackers.
A few days later, the scout yells, "There are three English ships on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, and again he says (in his most manly voice), "Bring me my red shirt."
Again, the English ships begin their attack and the pirates fight off all three of the attacking ships. After the battle is over, one of the mates sheepishly approaches the captain and asks, "Sir, why do you keep asking for your red shirt?"
The captain replies, "I ask for the red shirt so if I am injured in battle, you will not see my blood, and will continue to fight."
The crew is in awe with these words.
The following week, the scout yells, "There are ten English ships on the horizon." The crew again looks to the captain, waiting for him to ask for his red shirt. He is silent for a moment and then says, "Bring me my brown pants."
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
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Registered:
April 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 02:16
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| Backspace wrote on Wed, 21 July 2004 03:52 |
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together.
The chicken pulls out a cigarette and lights it and says
"Well that answers that one."
Two Irish men are on an iceberg in the middle of the North Atlantic at night.
One of them says "Look, we're saved, here comes the Titanic."
They're my two favourite jokes. But no-one seems to find them as funny as i do.
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haha i like the 1st
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 08:21
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i dont get the 1st 1
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Registered:
April 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 08:26
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hint****wat cum 1st the chicken or the egg ???
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 09:09
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the chicken, but it still doesnt make sence 2 me, argh im so dumb...
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Registered:
April 2004
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 09:36
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right.....hmmmm its kinda clicking but not really, meh d/w bout it, thanks ne way.
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Registered:
April 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 09:40
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think dirty
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Plumpton/sydney
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 09:47
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There is a woman standing at the counter of her work when a guy stands next to her hi takes a deep breeth and says your hair smells beautiful, after 3 weeks of this happening every day she gets the shits and goes to her manager and wants to file for sexual harrasment he askes her to explain why after telling him he says whats wrong with that she then says "it is keith the midgit.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 09:48
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i am! but still, it makes sence, kinda but im not finding it very funny...im slow huh.
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Registered:
April 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 12:01
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| crayz legz wrote on Wed, 21 July 2004 19:48 |
i am! but still, it makes sence, kinda but im not finding it very funny...im slow huh.
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"Well that answers that one." of who CUM 1st the chicken or the egg
it would be funny it you got it the 1st time:P
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Location:
Posts: 992738234
Registered:
February 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 14:07
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 21 July 2004 19:06
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| Toy SX wrote on Tue, 20 July 2004 20:24 |
Q: Why did the plane crash?
A: The pilot was a loaf of bread
Q: Why did the kid fall off the swing?
A: 'cos he had no arms
Q: Why did the kid fall off the bike?
A: 'cos a fridge hit him
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
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oh them ones mad me crack up so bad
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Location:
Land of Oz
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Thu, 22 July 2004 00:19
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Hi,
Two flies are on a dog turd. One of the flies lets rip a massive fart. The other fly says, "hey, do ya mind, I'm trying to eat over here!"
seeyuzz
river
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Location:
Tasmania
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Thu, 22 July 2004 06:47
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why cant stevie wonder read??
because he's black
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Official Cruise Dude
Location:
liverpool
Registered:
March 2004
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Location:
Behind you
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Fri, 23 July 2004 17:06
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| Ramtech wrote on Thu, 22 July 2004 16:47 |
why cant stevie wonder read??
because he's black
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Location:
Finland
Registered:
November 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Fri, 23 July 2004 19:26
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Aeroflot plane was about to takeoff from Moscow airport but takeoff got delayed and passengers started to worry. After three hours of waiting plane finally got airborne. During coffee service one passenger asked from stewardess that why was the takeoff so delayed. Stewardess answered "our captain heard some rattle from right wing engine and it took three hours from us to find a captain that didn't hear any rattles".
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Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Sat, 24 July 2004 02:20
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| Jayem wrote on Sat, 24 July 2004 05:26 |
Aeroflot plane was about to takeoff from Moscow airport but takeoff got delayed and passengers started to worry. After three hours of waiting plane finally got airborne. During coffee service one passenger asked from stewardess that why was the takeoff so delayed. Stewardess answered "our captain heard some rattle from right wing engine and it took three hours from us to find a captain that didn't hear any rattles".
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that's not too bad...gotta remember that one
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Location:
Melbourne, Australia
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Sat, 24 July 2004 02:29
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Whats yellow, and cant swim?
A bulldozer
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Location:
1st street on the right
Registered:
November 2002
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Location:
1st street on the right
Registered:
November 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Sat, 24 July 2004 09:48
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Man hobbles into a bar, walks up and orders a drink, unzip his pants and pulls out a steering wheel. The bartender says that must have been uncomfortable. Man replies, yes it's been driving me nuts.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 26 July 2004 03:34
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have you seen andrea bocelli's new house?
thats o.k. neither has he
why is stevie wonder always smiling?
he doesn't know he's black.....
thats my $0.02
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Mon, 26 July 2004 17:12
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a guy goes and sits at the bar and orders a drink after he drinks it he looks in his pocket then orders another one. Drinks it looks in his pocket and orders another one. This goes on for about 4 drinks and then the bartender goes, how come everytime you drink your drink you look in your pocket. Then the guy tells the bar tender that he has a picture of his wife in his pocket and when she starts looking hot he'll go home
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Location:
Tasmania
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 27 July 2004 07:48
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why do black people lean to the middle of their car???
they think the smell is coming from outside
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Location:
Tassie
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 27 July 2004 08:06
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ummm i dunno i don't
What about the bogans in the commies who have their seat right back and hold the sterring wheel with 1 hand trying 2 look "gangsta" u have 2 laugh when u see them
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Location:
Adelaide, drift capital
Registered:
May 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 27 July 2004 12:24
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here is a rude one (please excuse the rudeness).
What is the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
Acne doesn't cum on your face until you're at least 12y.o. 
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Location:
Adelaide, drift capital
Registered:
May 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 27 July 2004 12:28
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Two police ones...
Q. What is the difference between going down on a lady, and traffic police?
A. At least with going down on the lady you can see the cunt behind the bush!
Q. What do you call an animal with a cunt half way up its back?
A. A police horse!  
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 27 July 2004 12:38
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| Backspace wrote on Wed, 21 July 2004 03:52 |
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together.
The chicken pulls out a cigarette and lights it and says
"Well that answers that one."
Two Irish men are on an iceberg in the middle of the North Atlantic at night.
One of them says "Look, we're saved, here comes the Titanic."
They're my two favourite jokes. But no-one seems to find them as funny as i do.
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Ha ha! Those are great!
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Location:
perth WA
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 27 July 2004 12:41
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Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Cheer
Jeff
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Location:
Adelaide, drift capital
Registered:
May 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Tue, 27 July 2004 13:00
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Thats gold! I reckon females are also involved in management.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 28 July 2004 00:03
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| stumpy wrote on Tue, 27 July 2004 22:41 |
Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Cheer
Jeff
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HAHAHAHAHA now thats a good one,
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Location:
Darwin
Registered:
April 2003
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 28 July 2004 02:02
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An englishman, irishman and an aussie go to a strip club. They sit down in front of one of the dancers and begin to enjoy the show.
The englishman pulls out a $20 note from his wallet, licks the back of it and slaps the chick on the arse. The $20 bill sticks to her arse. The irishman, not to be out done, grabs a fifty and does the same thing. They both turn and look at the aussie.
He pulls out his ATM card, swips the chick's arse crack and take the $70.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 28 July 2004 08:41
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| 4ageeza wrote on Tue, 27 July 2004 23:00 |
Two police ones...
Q. What is the difference between going down on a lady, and traffic police?
A. At least with going down on the lady you can see the cunt behind the bush!
Q. What do you call an animal with a cunt half way up its back?
A. A police horse!.
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4ageeza u really really dont like pigs do u? thats aight tho cause i h8 them aswell! they treat u like shit although we pay their them with tax money!
Re: JOKES Wed, 28 July 2004 12:02
[quote titlefingers wrote on Wed, 28 July 2004 12:02]An englishman, irishman and an aussie go to a strip club. They sit down in front of one of the dancers and begin to enjoy the show.
The englishman pulls out a $20 note from his wallet, licks the back of it and slaps the chick on the arse. The $20 bill sticks to her arse. The irishman, not to be out done, grabs a fifty and does the same thing. They both turn and look at the aussie.
He pulls out his ATM card, swips the chick's arse crack and take the $70.[/quote]
that was good
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Location:
Finland
Registered:
November 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Wed, 28 July 2004 13:25
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70, 80 and 90year old seniors had a discussion about problems that had occured due to their hi age. 70 year old said that "I wake at 6 o'clock and cant sleep any longer but biggest problem is that by 9 o'clock I have only managed to urinate few puny drops". 80 year old stated that he has same problems except that he cant sleep any longer than 5 o'clock and hes rectum doesnt work any better than his urinating. 90 year old said "Hah! by 9 o'clock I have pissed and shitted like a horse!". So what's the problem asked 70 and 80 year old mans. 90 year old man said "I wake at 10".
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Location:
Castle Hill
Registered:
December 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Thu, 29 July 2004 01:43
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my favourite joke of all time...
Whats big, white, and sits in the corner?
A naughty fridge.
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
December 2002
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Re: JOKES
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Fri, 30 July 2004 05:57
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A dyslexcic man walks into a Bank and yells out,
"Hold up your hands mother stickers this is a fuck up"
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Registered:
May 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Fri, 30 July 2004 18:27
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guy gets pulled over and the cop sez:
'do you know yor wife fell out 2 miles back???'
driver sez:
'thank GOD, i thot i'd gone deaf!'
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Official Cruise Dude
Location:
liverpool
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Sat, 31 July 2004 08:32
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HOW DO U LIKE THEM APPLES!
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Official Cruise Dude
Location:
liverpool
Registered:
March 2004
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Official Cruise Dude
Location:
liverpool
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: JOKES
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Sat, 31 July 2004 10:20
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A duck walks into a bar and orders a scooner of beer. The bartender looks at him and says "Your a duck and you can talk"
"That's right" says the duck "I'm also a brick layer, that's working in the construction site accross the road, and i'll be in here every day for a scooner of beer"
The next day the circus comes to town and the manager is talking to the bartender when he brings up he talking duck, the manager say "I want to meet him" So when the duck comes in for his scooner of beer the bartender say's to him "The circus manager wants to speak to you"
"Why would he want to speak to me, circus isn't that in a tent?" said the duck "I'm just a brick layer"
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) 1 Vote(s)
