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riceburna73
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Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 04:08 Go to next message
Yeh classy thread i know,but I just have to get the general concensus.
My mate has recently tried to take the next step in the relationship and let one go infront of his missus,only to have her walk out totally discusted kikn up a big stink over the whole thing(pardon the pun)..Now i near caused myself internal injuries by corking them in the first two months of going out with my missus,but now... ask her to pull my finger along with various other little fart games that i think have really brought us closer together in,well after the air has cleared anyway...

So my questions to you guys are,

1) do you fart around ur missus??
2) if you do how long did you take to crack the seal?
3) and for all you crazy extreme types out there,hve you or do you ever fart ON her or slyly breeze one past?

I will compile this info and present it to my mate hopefully in the aid of helping him gain a bit of sack and explain to his missus that we fart, and it is our right not to have to go outdoors everytime we get the urge.. Very Happy

[Updated on: Sun, 10 October 2004 04:11]

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thug_immortal
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 04:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
HELL YEAH! LOL!!!!

Its a part of being human, they do it to, its better out than in as they say.

I did it within like the first month of being wid my g/f, 2yrs later, we still together and i do it all the time Razz hahahaha disghusting i know but eh, what can you do?
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puzzle man
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 04:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
why don't woman fart?
because they don't keep there mouth shut 4 long enough 2 billed up perisher.
Laughing Laughing
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rob_RA40
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 04:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
your mates misses has serious psychological problems if she is that detached from the every day natural workings of the human body.

she needs help, and no im not joking..
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Adsport
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 04:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
1)yes , not in public
2)6 months
3)risky
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river
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 05:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hi,

Can't help with this, 'cos I've never farted in my life. Rolling Eyes

seeyuzz
river
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 05:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rob_RA40 wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 14:59

your mates misses has serious psychological problems if she is that detached from the every day natural workings of the human body.

she needs help, and no im not joking..


Yeh i agree,she's a pretty little princess,that needs a good dirty sanchezen to bring her back to earth Laughing I just cant wait untill the boys are over next weekend and i decide to let one go and light the fukker Laughing Laughing Laughing
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 05:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
I am actually very interested to hear what ur point of view is River.Being married and stuff Very Happy
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clubagreenie
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 05:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Do i fart on/in front of her? Hell I've got to get in early before she does it to me!
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fade-e
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 05:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
river wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 15:05

Hi,

Can't help with this, 'cos I've never farted in my life. Rolling Eyes

seeyuzz
river


i dont want to get into the intricate details of your life but are you serious? Shocked

even the healthiest person has farted once in their lives
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rob_RA40
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 05:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yes river is serious, note the smiley rolling his eyes, thats called the serious smiley.

whenever that smiley is used it means the poster is deadly serious about whatever he/she is saying...

Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
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Clown
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 05:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
a few of the ballarat/vic guys know how desterbing i can be at times but i dont think they know about this little gem.

A chick was once goin down on me in my bed, I felt one building up so thought...... fuckit...... i let it rip and pulled the sheets over her head so i didn't have to smell it Laughing . Aparently.......... it was really really bad. Very Happy
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old_mr2
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 06:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
clown, you have put an image in my head that I really didnt need to see.
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mynameisrodney
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 06:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
DUTCH OVEN!! Laughing
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river
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 06:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hi,

As I don't fart, I think that, hypothetically, if you're going to put your sword into the beaver, what's the issue with a bit of anal gas?

But, like most things, there is a line you shouldn't cross. Clowns little exercise in good taste is one of them, and the other one is "don't leave skiddies on the sheets".

seeyuzz
river
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jesseT18
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 06:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
hahah anybody been cupcaked?
i just rembered back in yr 7/8 there was a obsesssion with 'jump farts' when one of your school mates were sitting down run past, jump and when ur airborne, arse level with face let it rip
and when u get REALLY good release the toxic air on their intake stroke!!!
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Evil_Foetus
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 06:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Clown wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 15:53

a few of the ballarat/vic guys know how desterbing i can be at times but i dont think they know about this little gem.

A chick was once goin down on me in my bed, I felt one building up so thought...... fuckit...... i let it rip and pulled the sheets over her head so i didn't have to smell it Laughing . Aparently.......... it was really really bad. Very Happy


hes lying

he was going down on grant Laughing

[Updated on: Sun, 10 October 2004 06:58]

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Clown
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 07:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
hahaha ryleys pissed cos it was his mum Razz
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Cyber-punk
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 07:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
i got my mate in trouble last night by constantly laying down some real foul smelling farts Razz
his girl cracked the sads and demanded that "the vile pig take his smelly arse outside and stop torturing everyone"
i made a strange face at my mate and he pissed himself laughing and thus incriminated himself Razz
ahhh...powers of the dark side

but i generally try not fart around females...or anyone i dont work with, i've a nasty rear end on me(inherited from my father, who to this day is the only person who can use a toilet with windows open\fan on\spray and still have people gag on entry after he's finished)
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toyrota
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 07:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
I've been married now for 5 months been with the wife for about 10 years we have 2 kids and every chance I get to cupcake her I take Laughing My other fav is when she just wants "to cuddle" in bed I fart on her leg the trick is to get close enough so she feels the air bubble. Now I'm not a pig It has taken nearly 10 years to get to this stage.
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 08:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
toyrota wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 17:43

I've been married now for 5 months been with the wife for about 10 years we have 2 kids and every chance I get to cupcake her I take Laughing My other fav is when she just wants "to cuddle" in bed I fart on her leg the trick is to get close enough so she feels the air bubble. Now I'm not a pig It has taken nearly 10 years to get to this stage.


See thats what im talking about...Its not discusting..Its a sign of closeness!!! Very Happy
Women should be thankful that their boyfriend cares about them so much Laughing

Cyberpunk: you sound like a mate of mine I once dropped off 500 metres from Eastern Ck Maccas cause he wouldnt stop farting, i was feeling sick.hes' fukkn deadly...same bloke made another mate spew up half a pizza after sneaking around to the passenger side of my car and farted in his face,if that chain of events wasnt funny enough 5 minutes later he discovered he'd actually followed through, and not having anything even remotely resembling toilet paper he had to wipe his arse with his undies and freeball it the rest of the night Laughing Laughing
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AE86slut
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 09:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
riceburna73 wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 18:09

Cyberpunk: you sound like a mate of mine I once dropped off 500 metres from Eastern Ck Maccas cause he wouldnt stop farting, i was feeling sick.hes' fukkn deadly...same bloke made another mate spew up half a pizza after sneaking around to the passenger side of my car and farted in his face,if that chain of events wasnt funny enough 5 minutes later he discovered he'd actually followed through, and not having anything even remotely resembling toilet paper he had to wipe his arse with his undies and freeball it the rest of the night Laughing Laughing


Laughing Laughing Laughing

The only time I have farted infront of any of my gf's has been either when I was heaps pissed, or asleep.
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peewee
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 09:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
quote mallrats

"she dumped you for farting?"
"well she was going down on me at the time. i was feeling relaxed, when i'm relaxed i squirt"

personally used to fart infront of the missus all the time, also will do it infront of friends tho not many female friends. i'm sure i farted directly on the ex a few times in our time, but she gave out worse than me. chick farts are always way worse cos they've been building for days. with girls now i spose i haven't really farted infront of anyone i've been fooling around with but then i haven't seen any of them long enough to get comfortable to do it
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dimmy77_03
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 09:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Clown wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 15:53

a few of the ballarat/vic guys know how desterbing i can be at times but i dont think they know about this little gem.

A chick was once goin down on me in my bed, I felt one building up so thought...... fuckit...... i let it rip and pulled the sheets over her head so i didn't have to smell it Laughing . Aparently.......... it was really really bad. Very Happy



Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing that's the funniest thing ive ever heard
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mynameisrodney
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 09:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
i never fart in front of my gf and expect the same in return
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Cyber-punk
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 09:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
mynameisrodney wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 19:18

i never fart in front of my gf and expect the same in return


if you've ever fallen asleep near her i'm sure she's been privy to your dark side Razz


which reminded me of a guy i know who used to film his GF sleeping because she had a real bad habit of letting rip, we all fart whilst sleeping...but this chick could of won competitions Razz
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Clown
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 11:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Whats wrong with farting infront of a chick??
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tomartom
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 13:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
I guess it depends on how bad the odour is, for me I knew people were finding it tough when I was instructed to sit in the far backleft corner of the room, and I had to leave the clasroom if i was having a bout of flatulence. I was young around 19 Ate 1/2 kilo of Homebrand Tuna per day, and around 6 kilos of Chicken Breast, and ony other sources od protein I could for the week. Oh Yeh beans like the kidney beans are bad very uncool in crowds especially when your anus decides against all advice to have an "incident" and release. It was al worth it though, You really know your freinds after a while..he he hee....
I am 31 now and I don't actually see that much fun in it anymore, but still a necessary part of life.


Did you know that in Circ 18th It was polite for a man to take responsibility for flatuelence in the presence of other people if the woman was the culprit.

regards tony



tony
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 13:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
[quote title=tomartom wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 23:02]I guess it depends on how bad the odour is, for me I knew people were finding it tough when I was instructed to sit in the far backleft corner of the room, and I had to leave the clasroom if i was having a bout of flatulence. I was young around 19 Ate 1/2 kilo of Homebrand Tuna per day, and around 6 kilos of Chicken Breast, and ony other sources od protein I could for the week. Oh Yeh beans like the kidney beans are bad very uncool in crowds especially when your anus decides against all advice to have an "incident" and release. It was al worth it though, You really know your freinds after a while..he he hee....


hahaha when one of us is working well we go out for a spot of window shopping and drop em in crowds of unsuspecting shoppers..its hilarious to look back and watch them blame each other for your own brand Laughing Laughing Laughing
I dont think im eva guna grow up Laughing





[Updated on: Sun, 10 October 2004 13:44]

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jesseT18
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Sun, 10 October 2004 22:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
one of my mates could build, actually, a few of the could but one excelled in it particulary well
you get in the position sid from toy story is in in his bed in one of the scenes, arse in the air, arms by side cheek on floor and he can actually inhale through his arse and make a fart
at school camp he did 108 in a row then he got follow through

has anyone here heard of a buttercup? now thats funny
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 03:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
if anybody has ever been a little brother I am sure you are familiar with the FART JAR Very Happy
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MR. 2
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 06:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
LOL this has to be the funniest post i have read in ages LOL

my ex misses use to fart more then me... and it just got plain annoying and filthy.... it was funny the first few times but then it just gott yuck. Class = 0. However it took her 3 year years to get to that point of farting in front of me. took me about 6 months LOL.
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river
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 07:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hi,

riceburna73 wrote on Sun, 10 October 2004 15:11

I am actually very interested to hear what ur point of view is River.Being married and stuff Very Happy


It's tolerated, but not too excess. Loud rippers get a shake of the head. Silent clouds of deadly vapour get a "you dirty bastard" But I did it before we met, I did it while we were going out, I did it while we were engaged, I even did it at our wedding ceremony, and I still do it - loudly and abundantly.

I still try and blame all this foulness on Frank - our totally freaked out parrot, but the missus is onto me now. I try and blame the creaking floorboards, or my bro-in-law when he comes over - all to no avail.

The worse trouble I got into was some years ago when I let a killer silent one go in an elevator with people in it. I looked at her and said loudly "babe, you gotta stop eating beans" She was speechless and if looks could kill, I'd be a dead man on the spot.

Strangely enough, I get into more strife by letting rip a big burp.

seeyuzz
river
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 07:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The worse trouble I got into was some years ago when I let a killer silent one go in an elevator with people in it. I looked at her and said loudly "babe, you gotta stop eating beans" She was speechless and if looks could kill, I'd be a dead man on the spot.

Hahaha ive done this a couple of times,once in a little dress shop with my missus, i let one go,and this day they were so bad they would not move, even though it was windy outside the shit cloud would just hover in the one spot Very Happy anyways were in there i drop it and make a pretty good case that it wasnt me and that she should cut it out,I walk out the front only to be followed by the chick who worked there and some other shopper Very Happy my missus stormed out grabbed my arm and loud enough for the other chicks to hear proclaimed that i am discusting,i continued to defend my innocence up the street Laughing
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mynameisrodney
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 07:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
hahaha. that reminds me of something that happened to me. one night me and my mates all got pissed at a rich friend of ours apartment on the 24th floor of the observatory tower in the city. coming down in the morning i let one go at about 23rd and then this old couple got on on 22 and pressed G(the smell had yet to wft out of my pants). after about 5-10 floors of me and a mate in stitches trying to stay quiet the old bloke pushed another level and got off the elevator. oh and to this date that is the worst fart i have ever done.

chris
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Clown
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 12:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
I farted on a mates misses last night........ it was pure class!
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scrote
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 15:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
deep down we all must love the smell of fart. we need to smell,appreciate and rate the odour. then due to the conforming pressure of society we say "yuck dude thats fowl"

if this is not true why is it that when someone farts instead of just moving away u instantly smell the air. i mean how often does someone say i just farted and not actually fart!!

its our instincts and pleasure to smell the fowl odour. thus delivering them to our girlfriends/wife etc is only common curtesy. and they should respect that! Laughing
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2-Skinny
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 16:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Oh Hells yeah I fart on my girl! For a while, it annoyed her a little bit, but now she is used to it. (unless I drop an ultra-fowl bomb, then she gets pissed off!) But, I try to drop big loud crunchers when we are having a quiet conversation or watching a DVD, the funniest thing! Or sometimes I'll try to let a quiet one to see if she notices. Usually 25 seconds or so will go by and she's like "I heard that..." The tits! Anyways, my new thing is farting on her as a way of "marking my territory". I tell her, its like a pat on the arse or holding her hand, its love baby!


Oh, BTW we are getting married next year if that is any indication...

[Updated on: Mon, 11 October 2004 16:49]

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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 16:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
too tru i rekkon no aftershave can beat the smell of ur own brand Laughing

[Updated on: Mon, 11 October 2004 16:48]

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2-Skinny
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Mon, 11 October 2004 16:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yup, you know when your sitting alone at the computer and you blast one that rocks the whole chair and then take a big whiff of it...ooohhhh boy, that is great when you stink yourself out!
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Tue, 12 October 2004 04:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
[quote title=2-Skinny wrote on Tue, 12 October 2004 02:46]Anyways, my new thing is farting on her as a way of "marking my territory". I tell her, its like a pat on the arse or holding her hand, its love baby!quote]

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
taht dropped me like a Tasmanian old growth forest Very Happy
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pjaw11sc
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Wed, 13 October 2004 06:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yea, but only if shes in a good mood, she gets anoyed otherwise cos i do it all the time.
she does them around me 2, but they never make noise, she just says shes goin to fart....then giggles
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Benjamin
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Wed, 13 October 2004 09:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
My farts are so chunky you could carve it.
And so thick you could chew on em...

But I've never really had a gf to share this talent with...wonder why?
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Siktoy ra23
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Wed, 13 October 2004 09:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
What you do is when you wake up in the morning just back up to her in bed and if you can spred your ass cheeks on her leg then let it RIP


They love this sort of attention Laughing

BEN
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Rallystanza
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Wed, 13 October 2004 10:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Siktoy ra23 wrote on Wed, 13 October 2004 19:36

What you do is when you wake up in the morning just back up to her in bed and if you can spred your ass cheeks on her leg then let it RIP


Love ya work Ben!

Yeah i fart like a machine and always try my best to analyse the stink before the exit. From this point i decide what to do with it.

If its gonna reak i do try to dutch oven it on the missus for maximum effect. But the key is to pretend to snuggle up to them (cos they love it) and then we they realise, the look on their face is the best!

If its just an audible delight then yeah i try to take bens initiative and dump it on her!

I know this is a bit indepth a response for farting, but i say be proud of it, after all you created it. Think of it as ya child.

hope this helps Very Happy

Jezza Evil or Very Mad
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dimmy77_03
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Wed, 13 October 2004 12:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Siktoy ra23 wrote on Wed, 13 October 2004 19:36

What you do is when you wake up in the morning just back up to her in bed and if you can spred your ass cheeks on her leg then let it RIP


They love this sort of attention Laughing

BEN



Laughing Laughing Laughing your a funny bastard, and u got a awesome avatar
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riceburna73
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Re: Farting infrontof/on ya missus Wed, 13 October 2004 12:25 Go to previous message
Im doing the long distance thing with the missus untill i get back to syd,anyways on the phone tonight and let one go into the phone and she like"Nath was that? oh thats discusting,and im like babe im just trying to make it asif we were here together! Very Happy
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