| Author | Topic |
|---|
Club Member
Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 09:40
|
 |
My mate at NRMA just sent me this....
>Here's a funny one, maybe directed more at those in the automotive
>industry but I'm sure you will get it.
>
>
>A blonde bird pushes her Celica into a gas station.
>She tells the mechanic, "It died."
>After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She says,
>"What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor." She
>says, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
>XXXX XXXXXXXXX
>Technical Support
>National Technical Support unit
>
|
|
|
Location:
South Australia
Registered:
July 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 09:48
|
|
BWAHAHAHAHA 
|
|
|
Location:
Laverton, Vic
Registered:
July 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 10:35
|
|
oh yeah that's goood
|
|
|
Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 11:21
|
|
|
GOLD!!!
|
|
|
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 12:56
|
|
I heard an nrma guy once came to help a chick, who was olding a thinble and a bottle of oil and had oil all over her hands and she pointed to the dipstick tube and said "there has to be a better way"...
Also, a chick with a VT commodore called NRMA cause she couldn't get into her car, when he got there she pointed her key at the car and pushed the button - nothing, the battery was flat. so the nrma guy took the key off her and put it in the lock...
Tim.
|
|
|
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 12:58
|
|
haha,
you just reminded me of a little NRMA story though...
A mate and myself were standing around his EFI XE falcon (going back almost 10 years) scratching our heads to why it wouldn't run smoothly. Neither of us being experienced with EFI cars before this one, we opted to call the NRMA in.
After about 15 mins of poking about he popped out from under the hood and said "fellas, it's a problem with the carbie, I don't know how much I can do, you're best to take it to your mechanic to fix it."
To which my mate promptly proceeded to tell the bloke where to put his advice and to get back in the car and errr...go away.
Maybe he thought we had crap in our carbie? 
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 14:18
|
|
|
NRMA guys are mobile macguyers. thinking to fix a blown radiator with a bolt, washer and some gasket goo was pure genious
|
|
|
Location:
Parramatta
Registered:
July 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 23:24
|
|
this a great one i heard it on nova a bit ago, katrina blowers one of the annocers with merrick and rosso, well here is the story
.. Katrina and her boyfreind couldnt start the car the battry was dead, they had som jumper leads so they proceded to put the + to the + terminal on the car battery, then it said earth so katrina was looking as what they could earth it too, so she picked up a stick from the ground and put the - to the stick.... LOL she though well a stick came from earth. and guess what it didnt work surprise suprise.
|
|
|
Location:
Girraween,Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Tue, 19 October 2004 23:59
|
|
My Girl friend used to lock her keys in her car on a regular basis, One time she did it, so she called her dad to get him to come out & bring her the spare set of keys, when he got there he walked up to the car looked at the back door lifted the handle & it opened, only the drivers door was locked!  Needless to say i still give her shit about it.
|
|
|
Toymods Club Treasurer
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Wed, 20 October 2004 00:58
|
|
Classics.
|
|
|
Location:
melbourne
Registered:
October 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Wed, 20 October 2004 01:12
|
|
this happened to my mum when i was about 10, i remember it still, dont know why...
we were on our way to a family friends picnic/lunch do kinda thing, and she pulled over to check the melways (map) because they live out in dirt roads. she went to start the car again, and it wouldnt start, so she calls racv, after 30 mintues the guy comes out, gets in the driver seat, PUTS IT IN PARK (its an auto), and starts the car. it was in drive  i still mention it if she tries to give me any shit aobut my car.
im a deadshit too, and i lock my keys in my car if my routine of exiting the vehicle is slighty disturbed. so i always keep a spare key in my wallet. which has never been locked in my car at the same time as my keys, yet.
doesnt happen much now with the remote alarm.
|
|
|
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 02:21
|
|
Yeah I lovk keys in the car shitloads, that's why I give all my cars keyless entry. makes it harder to lock em en when you get into the button-pushing routine...
Tim.
|
|
|
Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 06:18
|
|
| bigg willie style wrote on Wed, 20 October 2004 11:12 |
im a deadshit too, and i lock my keys in my car if my routine of exiting the vehicle is slighty disturbed. so i always keep a spare key in my wallet. which has never been locked in my car at the same time as my keys, yet.
doesnt happen much now with the remote alarm.
|
thats what i do  when i was a delivery boy for domino's in yr 12, went out on a delivery and locked my keys in the car, so i went back to the cutomer (2 mad chiks) and asked for a coat hanger
|
|
|
Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
June 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 08:34
|
|
Probably just another urban myth, but it was told to me as a true story:
Peter Brock is driving along with a mate in the country, and sees a young bloke pulled over with the bonnet up on his "Brock" Commodore. Brocky pulls over, gets out: Young bloke nearly has a heart attack....
Brock: "what's wrong with 'her mate?"
Dude: "It started coughing and spluttering as I was driving along, then it just died. It's got plenty of fuel in it, too."
Brocky's mate: "Whaddya reckon Pete, shit in the carby?"
Brock: "Well, I s'pose we could, don't see how it would help though. . . ."
|
|
|
Location:
cambo
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 09:40
|
|
i also used to lock my keys in the car so had a spare in the wallet, except i would lock that in the car too so i had a paint can handle twist-tied under the car. i made sure i put central locking on my current car
while we're on the subject, there are PLENTY of customer cars i have put on the hoist and found spare keys under the car. so atleast i not the only one
|
|
|
Location:
wollongong NSW
Registered:
August 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 12:28
|
|
i thought of putting a key under the car then i thought that people would check there. so i have it in my wallet.
my sister would have to take the prize for the stupidest way to get locked out of her car. she came to school to pick up her friend that lives no where near us and no where near the school plus school is no where near our house(if that makes sense) they left on the way to sisters friends house then thought hey we should give scott a lift too. so they return to school to come and get me park in the teachers car park come to get me but midway through the walk from the car to where i was they think where are the keys? oops they are in the car. both locked their doors. no probs just ring mum to bring the spare key.
you may think that there is nothing wrong with this but that isnt the entire story.
the keys were in the ignition with that car still running. as school is a fair distance from our old house the car was sitting there for 15mins with the motor running.
|
|
|
Location:
Gold Coast
Registered:
January 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 12:59
|
|
man i don't know how you guys lock the keys in the car all the time!! I've never done it but i spose the celica as got standard central lockign on both doors! But yeah i mean shit!
Nezza 
|
|
|
Location:
Somewhere on a dirt bowl ...
Registered:
August 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 15:07
|
|
Not to do with the NRMA but an old mate of mine that was living in Sydney a few years back was out driving in his mildy moded XF 6 pack Fairmont one nite, he got pulled up by a pair of cops, asked to pop the bonnet and then queried as to where his mod plate for the v8 was.
"V8? Its a six! Count the spark plugs you dumb arse twat."
"Don't swear at the law. And yes, i've counted eight."
"EIGHT!!! Where's eight?!?!"
The cop proceded to point out leads 1 to 6 and then the one for the coil and the other one was the fuel line!
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney, NSW
Registered:
February 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 19:34
|
|
|
LMFSAO
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney, NSW
Registered:
February 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 19:34
|
|
|
they are all heaps funny
|
|
|
I supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney, NSW
Registered:
February 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 19:35
|
|
|
its amazing how low some ppl's brain functions can be lol
|
|
|
Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
June 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Thu, 21 October 2004 22:54
|
|
|
Yeah, I tried explaining to a traffic cop (PRICK, btw) once that the vacuum advance on the dizzy was disconnected because it actually INCREASED harmful emissions, and made the engine ping like hell. He still defected me. prick.
|
|
|
Location:
Elwood, Melb
Registered:
August 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 00:46
|
|
My mum made a great move the other day, she had a long day at work (at a uni) and went back to her car,when suddenly she realised it wasn't there, so she started stressing and told the security, they called the police, and she sat around worrying.
When a thought came across her mind, that she parked in that spot the day before, not this day. lol
|
|
|
Location:
London
Registered:
July 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 02:03
|
|
I know of a guy who had his first car seize on him because he never checked the oil even though the light was constantly on on his dashboard.
He bought a replacement car and spent a day 'servicing' it. He ended up ringing a mate saying that the car wouldn't start. When my friend got there the guy was peering under the bonnet and there were several empty cans of oil sitting on the ground. Turns out that he was now so paranoid about oil shortages that he filled the motor right up to the oil cap.
Don't know how authentic this one is:
Guy is driving down the freeway and notices that several people are flashing at him as they go past in the other direction. He spots a police car at the side of the road and pulls over to ask the officer why the people are flashing him.
|
|
|
Location:
Ballarat, Vic.
Registered:
September 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 02:05
|
|
|
I was doin an auto course last year and was running late one day, locked keys in the car (still in ignition ). Anyways i think arrrrrr crap. Go inside tell the guys. We spent the first hour or so of our class breaking into my car.......... a block away from the cop shop. A few cops drove past aswell, 5 or so people standing around the car (the others stayed inside). Not one cop (or anyone else for that matter) stoped to ask us what we were doin!. Gotta love cops .
|
|
|
I Supported Toymods
Location:
south Melbourne/KL
Registered:
June 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 02:47
|
|
|
ive locked my key in my old car with ignition on quite a few times. this happened coz i have a turbo timer so i got used to walking away with ignition on!
|
|
|
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 04:04
|
|
|
TARDS!!!
|
|
|
Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 08:35
|
|
A mate of mine worked for the nrma for a little and one night got called out. A lady's car would not start so he jumped in turn the key and it turned over very slow so he popped the bonnet and checked the battery terminals which were tight, so he turned on the headlights and tryed again.When the lights went dull he knew it had a flat battery so he turns to the lady and said
" I know what the problem is "
"what is it " she asked
"Your battery is flat "
to which she asked "what shape should it be"
|
|
|
Location:
Land of Oz
Registered:
June 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 10:23
|
|
Hi,
When I left school I got a job in Ultimo where one of the techos was a Bandido member and was as rough as guts. Anyway, the techs drove these old Hi-ace vans and he goes tearing around the back streets of Ultimo with me shit-scared and holding on for dear life. We come upon a pedastrian crossing where these old biddies ar ready to cross. Cawthorne (the biker's name) slams on the brakes and we slide, in a cloud of smoke, and stop just short of the crossing. He leans out and waves them across and bellows "C'mon girls, get across"
The old dears smile and nod and start hobbling across the crossing. When they're right in front of the van, Cawthorne revs the arse out of the egnine, honks the horn and shouts "Hurry the phuck up, bitches!"
Cawthorne also used to do the country installs, where he'd drive all over country NSW. He used a Ford panelvan for that and used to take his pig-dog terrier with him. When he'd come back the van stank of dog-shit, the seatbelts were chewed through and shot gun shells scattered over the place. He used to pull the gun out and shoot at roos and things while he drove.
One day he was driving out of work and one of the bosses called out "hey, there's something rattling in your wheels" So, Cawthorne stops, gets out and pulls off the hubcaps and sees a few of the wheel nuts rolling around in the caps. He tightened them with his fingers and went to the next wheel, and so on, finding loose nuts and tightening them with his fingers. "Thanks c$%t" he says, slapping the boss on the back and tearing off up the street, on his way to Parkes.
God help you if he saw you in another van. I was once at Broadway and he came up behind me and rammed me and tried to push me into the intersection. The bumpers got locked and ripped off, and he thought it was really funny.
Sorry for the long post, but I thought you might like to read some of the shit this guy used to do, amongst other stuff he used to do.
seeyuzz
river
|
|
|
Location:
Somewhere on a dirt bowl ...
Registered:
August 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Fri, 22 October 2004 15:16
|
|
|
Now thats phucken funny
|
|
|
Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2004
|
|
Re: Classic joke from NRMA
|
Sat, 23 October 2004 14:15
|
|
| bigg willie style wrote on Wed, 20 October 2004 11:12 |
im a deadshit too, and i lock my keys in my car if my routine of exiting the vehicle is slighty disturbed.
|
Same thing happens to me. If I'm getting out of my car and people are around, or I'm running late, or I'm talking on the phone, or I haven't done up my shoe laces, or I'm wearing uncomfortable underwear... ANYTHING out of the ordinary, I'll lock my keys in my car.
Luckily I had a few other friends with my AE82's and their keys worked fine 
Only locked my keys in my Celica twice! (in two months...)
|
|
|
