Author | Topic |
Location: Perth
Registered: June 2003
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Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 04:08
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Here are a few favourites I've had hurled at me and a few I've seen hurled at other people through my life:
"Your mothers like a bowling ball, you stick 3 fingers in her, throw her in the gutter and she keeps coming back for more!"
"You're the load your mother should have swallowed!"
"Wanna play hide and go fuck yourself? I'll hide, you know what to do!"
"If you sucked any harder the roof of your mouth would cave in"
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny"
(this one was hurled at me by a country boy kicked out for groping girls)
"The last bit of action you saw was licking your mum on the way out"
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Location: Sydney, Shire
Registered: April 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 04:29
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u say this to a chick...
"your the ugliest looking bloke ive ever seen"
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Location: Sydney / NSW
Registered: March 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 04:38
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this one cracks me up
"your a fuck wasted...should have been blown all over the sheets"
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Location: Sydney
Registered: January 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 05:11
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for when you get BAC tested
"I haven't had a cunt in ages drinkstable"
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Location: Perth
Registered: June 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 05:16
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For the cops:
"I swear the car was upside down when I got here"
"I've never been so driven I couldn't drunk"
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am"
"This is a test right, which one of those two breathalizers am I ment to blow in?"
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Location: Perth
Registered: June 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 05:18
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Alternatively at a booze bus, just casually get out of your car and walk into someones lawn:
"This is my house officer I'll just park here"
*old lady runs out and starts abusing you*
"Oh ho ho, mums in her cups again, get back inside mum"
*old lady runs inside gets man with a baseball bat*
"Dad! I swear I'll ask before I borrow the car again!"
*run into the house ducking man.......*
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Location: Land of Oz
Registered: June 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 10:10
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Hi,
"Your dad should of blown over a hot-plate. At least you would of only stunk once"
"Now I know why some mothers eat their young"
"I bet your family tree is a cactus 'cos it's full of pricks"
There's more but I can't remember them. I'll ty and make a note the next time I'm abused.
seeyuzz
river
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Location: Liverpool, Sydney
Registered: September 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 12:29
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id rather have sex with a cheese grater than "insert whatever yo dont wanna do here"
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Location: Potts Point, Sydney
Registered: October 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 19:44
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i love using this http://www.insultmonger.com/generators/
You can't even figure out which gender you are, you moronic androgynous specimen. Celibate, eh? You mean in the closet, right? Or maybe you're a homosexual midget: in which case, you're in the cupboard! You're damn right about being vomit-inducing fugly. You have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. How much would you change to haunt a house? You're a politically vacillating phony liberal fuck; too damn broadminded to take your own side in a debate. Calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. Did your mother leave you in the dryer too long when you were a kid, you little tap-dancing Leprechaun in a pink wig? Be careful you don't bump your head on the door handle on the way out. You scrawny-assed, anorexic African famine victim; if you had dreads, I'd grab you by your ankles and use you to mop the floor. Do you get a clearer idea of how pathetic you are, you minimum wage earning human equivalent of a bidet? I love that suit you're wearing. You never throw anything away, do you? I'm not really good with fools, but a friend who is wrote something down for me; Oh, yeah, "Fuck off." May you live a long life and be the butt of many jokes to come.
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Location: sydney
Registered: July 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 08 December 2004 21:17
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this is wot i got
You're worth less than the juice squeezed from an old whore's soiled Tampon. Do everyone misfortunate enough to know you a favor: smear your ass with monkey pheromones and go flirt with some horny apes, you unintelligible poppycock-peddler. hehehehe
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Location: Brisvegas
Registered: June 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 06:41
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"your mum is so retarded she threw a rock at the ground and missed"
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Location: Land of Oz
Registered: June 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 07:05
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Hi,
Try shouting this at an AE86 driver "Nice Nissan, mate" or "Wow, cool looking Honda!"
seeyuzz
river
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Location: Newcastle
Registered: July 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 09:14
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you are so dense, light bends round you ( one for the geeks!)
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Location: Perth
Registered: September 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 11:59
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MFX_Neko_86 wrote on Wed, 08 December 2004 20:29 | id rather have sex with a cheese grater than "insert whatever yo dont wanna do here"
| That could soooo be misinterpretted... *where* exactly are you insert the thing that you don't wanna do?
..I'm amazed that no-one's yet come forth with the classic "Your grandmother was a goat and your grandfather smelt of elderberries!"
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Location: Potts Point, Sydney
Registered: October 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 12:08
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"I wouldnt fuck you with his dick" (point at a mate)
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I supported Toymods
Location: Perth
Registered: May 2002
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 12:58
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river wrote on Thu, 09 December 2004 15:05 | Hi,
Try shouting this at an AE86 driver "Nice Nissan, mate" or "Wow, cool looking Honda!"
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That is GOLD, SO doing that!
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Location: Sydney
Registered: May 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 13:02
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yo mummahz so big that the titannics her bath toy
yo mummaz so fucked up and butch she rapes herself and then reports it
you mummah, what else do i have to say ? seriosuly look at her bro like omfg whats with THAT ?
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Registered: June 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 13:57
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sometimes the simple ones are the best.
Like "Oxygen thief"
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Location: Burlington, On. Canada
Registered: January 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 14:32
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One to piss the ladies off...
"Try rubbing toilet paper on your tits, it seems to be working for your ass."
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Location: Land of Oz
Registered: June 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 20:34
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Hi,
Wasn't it "hamster", not goat?
seeyuzz
river
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Location: Potts Point, Sydney
Registered: October 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 09 December 2004 22:09
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joorsh wrote on Fri, 10 December 2004 00:57 | sometimes the simple ones are the best.
Like "Oxygen thief"
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i'll be using it today if it comes to that point, also the sprinter one
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Location: Coffs Harbour, NSW
Registered: November 2004
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Location: Newcastle
Registered: April 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Fri, 10 December 2004 05:22
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A couple of ones for the passengers when driving the cab.
"I never take the long way,most people are arseholes and i don't want them in the cab any longer than they have to be"
Or when they want to go home for free or put 5+ people in a four seater."What part of no don't you understand,is it the N or the O"
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Location: Adelaide
Registered: August 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Fri, 10 December 2004 06:15
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What part of fuck and off don't you understand!!
Do you like sex and travel?
Then fuck off!!
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Location: Liverpool, Sydney
Registered: September 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Sun, 12 December 2004 11:06
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fractoid wrote on Thu, 09 December 2004 22:59 |
MFX_Neko_86 wrote on Wed, 08 December 2004 20:29 | id rather have sex with a cheese grater than "insert whatever yo dont wanna do here"
| That could soooo be misinterpretted... *where* exactly are you insert the thing that you don't wanna do?
..I'm amazed that no-one's yet come forth with the classic "Your grandmother was a goat and your grandfather smelt of elderberries!"
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Didnt htink of it that way !!!
But you get what i meant...
Good one for a voicemail...
"Sorry, im hiding from someone, please leave your name and number and if i dont get back to you, guess what, its you.."
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Location: Brisbane, QLD, Australia
Registered: May 2002
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Sun, 12 December 2004 13:02
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You fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
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Location: Rockhampton QLD
Registered: July 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 15 December 2004 14:15
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Just watch 'full metal jacket' theres some classics right there
from the drill sergent.
eg: "Looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mommas ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!"
"What is your major malfunction numbnut?! did your parents neglect you as a child?!"
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Location: Adelaide
Registered: May 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 16 December 2004 02:24
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you are the one who licks the balls
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I supported Toymods
Location: Perth
Registered: May 2002
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 16 December 2004 02:35
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Apollo wrote on Sun, 12 December 2004 21:02 | You fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
| ...and then hit the ugly ground
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I supported Toymods
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Registered: December 2002
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Tue, 21 December 2004 07:58
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"Ankles, ..., three feet lower than a cunt"
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Location: Tassie
Registered: October 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 22 December 2004 09:59
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justcallmefrank wrote on Thu, 16 December 2004 13:35 |
Apollo wrote on Sun, 12 December 2004 21:02 | You fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
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then bounced back up and hit em all again
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Location: Castlemaine Vic
Registered: November 2002
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Wed, 22 December 2004 10:51
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"hey dick lips, your a shit person"
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Location: ballarat
Registered: April 2003
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Location: Castlemaine Vic
Registered: November 2002
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Thu, 23 December 2004 06:50
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"she looks like a melted gumboot"
"iv seen better half eaten pototo-cakes then her"
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Registered: December 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Fri, 24 December 2004 10:32
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fuck you
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Location: Liverpool, Sydney
Registered: September 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Fri, 24 December 2004 11:12
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Yea racing, id have to say thats one of my favorites.. an oldie but a goodie
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Location: Adelaide
Registered: November 2003
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Fri, 24 December 2004 12:30
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"Someone's got a couple of kangaroo's loose in the 'ole top paddock"
Anyone like butterfingers?: "You're momma's on the top of my things to do list"
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Location: Adelaide
Registered: January 2004
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone?
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Fri, 24 December 2004 13:10
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No your not getting a refund just coz your kids broke it, now get the fuck out.
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Location: Sydney, Peakhurst
Registered: May 2004
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