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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:25
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ok, heres the story, my work mate was up until 1 month ago, a virgin, he is 21, has a thing for really skinny chicks, kate moss ect ect. now his gf is a bit on the tubby side and he said he isnt fully attracted to her.
on his first night of playing train man he couldnt put out his fire, we know this cause he told us the next morning, we said for him to get her to warm up the hot plate first, but she doesnt like warming up the food herself, she likes it pre-warmed.
it has since been 4 weeks and 6 meals later and he still hasnt put out his fire, what is wrong with him, is it medical or psycholigical
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:41
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how on earth do you expect an answer to a question like that given the limited information? 
I'd suggest if the girl isn't willing to at least help the meal thaw out, he might consider a different girl
Could be physical, could be psychological.. I know people who've had similar problems and the cause has varied widely.
At least he'll make the girls very happy 
I'm assuming he doesn't want to do the pre-warming while she's in the kitchen.
If he's really worried, a GP is the person to see
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Sutho/Hills NSW
Registered:
September 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:44
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tell him to transplant a commodore v6 into his hachi that will get him fireing
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:46
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We're going to need a photo of this chick to help us diagnose the problem.
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Registered:
August 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:48
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| Cool1 wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:46 |
We're going to need a photo of this chick to help us diagnose the problem.
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Check your avatar shane
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:49
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agreed
someguy's idea of "a bit on the tubby side" is my idea of healthy curves.
I know of one guy whose gf was 5'6" and weighed 55kgs, and he told her she needed to lose weight
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:49
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hmmmmm, piccies, she's blonde, 5'8", about 65-70kg.
i'm not sure if i made my self clear, the water bottle stays warm, but doesnt matter how hard he tries the lid wont come off, then he just goes meh, waits until later and gets a dring from the tap 
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:50
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well by the porn on his comp, if she was 6'6" and 40kg she'd be a fat arse
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Registered:
August 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:52
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| Mr DOHC wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:49 |
i'm not sure if i made my self clear, the water bottle stays warm, but doesnt matter how hard he tries the lid wont come off, then he just goes meh, waits until later and gets a dring from the tap
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so he deep throats another guy when thirsty?
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:52
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Send him around my place and i'll show him hows it done. Picture little man being treated like a shotgun 
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:54
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these euphemisms are great
jsut the other night I had the vegies simmering for an hour before the girl told me her steak was rare :\
umm.. looking for professional advice through a 3rd party (you) on a car forum is probably not a super great way to get accurate information (despite having several medical and psychology degrees in the club )
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:55
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uh no, fuck, didnt make myu self clear
he can keep the bankroll full but cant make a deposit
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Registered:
August 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:56
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if the steak is prepared well it should be safe to eat
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:58
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So what your saying is that he can crack a fat and he knows where to stick it, but he cant get his nuts pumped enough to squirt his load over her face?
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:58
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why did u have the vegies going for so long without paying any attention to marinating the steak first
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 11:59
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dude, I know what you're saying
My advice applies.
maybe he likes his meat leaner? although I've yet to meet the guy who couldn't make a deposit in all but the most hulkingly grotesque accounts.
And yes, the steak should always be edible. And the chef should be told this before he starts preparations.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:01
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the more time you spend on the vegies, the better the meal turns out, and the more effort the girl will put into all aspects of the meal.
and an hour was exaggerating (what else is the net good for), but 30-40 minutes is still a long time to work on a meal only to find out it's vegan.
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Toymods Social Secretary
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:02
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just make sure its meddium rare and well juicy and your friend should not have any problems.
well cooked chewy steak is certainly not worth getting the mushroom sauce!
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:02
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thats disgusting shane, we are talking about healthy delicious meals here and u go and sex it up 
maybe hes making up for my dismal cooking attempts, i always try to cook eggs with out the water being hot enough, or only simmer the potatos for a very short time before i put in the sauce and then serve up. but i make up for it by having a big wooden spoon
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:03
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btw karl - when my car gets going, I wanna join shit tin racing team.... the paint job alone should qualify me
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Registered:
August 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:05
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draven used to get spanked with a big wooden spoon when he was a naughty youngster..........and look how he turned out!
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:09
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| draven wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:05 |
I'm a gourmet chef - I take great pride in all parties involved enjoying and savouring the meal (most of the time) 
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Only an apprentive chef would say this. A chef that has cooked for many in the past would say they cant be bother stressing about something thats comes as quick as it leaves
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:14
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all depends on who you're cooking for.
and I'm a big believer in always learning more & expanding your horizons, which is difficult when the meal is just maccas
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:18
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| draven wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:14 |
all depends on who you're cooking for.
and I'm a big believer in always learning more & expanding your horizons, which is difficult when the meal is just maccas
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I just like to blow my load in a quick a time as possible and get back to the TV.
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Registered:
August 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:18
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| draven wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 23:14 |
which is difficult when the meal is just maccas
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Do you dine in or take the fast getaway drive through option?
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Location:
Campbelltown, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:33
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i think your mate just doesnt like steak, or steak with sauce... I personally like my steak medium rare so it's still juicy
Would he prefer a sizzling sausage
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:39
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| Nolan wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:26 |
i have never read a thread that was full of so much bullshit and got so off topic
im still trying to work out if ur mates a gourmet chef
or cant shoot his load into his missus..
forgive me for not knowing but i can see how these 2 topics are similar
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dickhead
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:40
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hmmm, i have offered him the sausage, he wont bite
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Location:
Campbelltown, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:41
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| Mr DOHC wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 23:39 |
| Nolan wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:26 |
i have never read a thread that was full of so much bullshit and got so off topic
im still trying to work out if ur mates a gourmet chef
or cant shoot his load into his missus..
forgive me for not knowing but i can see how these 2 topics are similar
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dickhead
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ahahahaahaha..
its so true i am a dickhead 
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
February 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:44
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this has to be one of the most entertaining threads i've ever read about sexual disfunction...
phil: your mate needs to read less porn and practice more on the real thing ... me thinks his expectations are so are removed from what he'll ever experience that unless he goes somewhere that charges by minute - he's not likely to be satisfied.
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:48
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| Mr DOHC wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 23:40 |
hmmm, i have offered him the sausage, he wont bite
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It's good to hear that he doesn't bite. Nobody likes a biter. 
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 12:51
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| SIMDOG wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:48 |
| Mr DOHC wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 23:40 |
hmmm, i have offered him the sausage, he wont bite
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It's good to hear that he doesn't bite. Nobody likes a biter.
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I like it to be nibbled but not too hard.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 13:19
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well, I'm maybe just not as narcissistic as you shane
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 13:21
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| draven wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 23:19 |
well, I'm maybe just not as narcissistic as you shane
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Resorting to big words is just lame
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Location:
Campbelltown, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 13:23
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| Cool1 wrote on Thu, 06 January 2005 00:21 |
| draven wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 23:19 |
well, I'm maybe just not as narcissistic as you shane
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Resorting to big words is just lame
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im still trying to pronounce the fuckin word...
give me a sec
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 13:33
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I'm just amazed that my guess of the spelling was correct
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Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
June 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 14:27
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time for an actual response.
i had that problem with my first girlfriend, it was cos i was more worried about if i was hurting her (cos of massiv penis ) and if she was ok, than i was about pounding the crap out of her (we were both young + both virgins at the time)
also condoms dont help if he was using one, they reduce the feeling a fair bit make you (me anyway) take WAY longer than without.
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Location:
Perth, WA
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 16:14
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whats the issue with condoms? they dont "reduce feeling" at all, and, if you take longer, wont that just make the girl love you more, hence she'll love you more... often?
your friend needs to stop limp dicking around and get to business, all those years of self-loving have given him mt everest, and now the real thing seems like the hill down the road, he needs a reality check, if the girl aint his cup o tea, get to liking the flavour, or pour it down the sink and find another tea bag
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 20:51
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Maybe this meat he's poking and proding around with has been so well done that no matter what amount of cutlery he uses its just no use.
Maybe he's just throwing his hotdog down a hallway and wearing the hazard suit which makes him unweary of the situation, hence he cant complete the mission.
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Location:
Newcastle
Registered:
July 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 21:16
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| Mr DOHC wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:49 |
hmmmmm, piccies, she's blonde, 5'8", about 65-70kg.
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dare i say it the problem might be that his gf is fat ?
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 22:07
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Stop pretending it's a mate, we all know it is you
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I supported Toymods
Location:
I renounced punctuation
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 22:16
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To quote my hero:
| Homer J. Simpson once said |
The tastiest meat is in the rump!
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Anyway I'm off to BBQ something.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 22:43
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ok,this could come down to a couple of things:
1: she is fat and has a loose pussy,in which case he needs to just hit the backdoor 
2: shes fat and has a decent pussy but just isnt that interested,which I really cant understand cause if the little bloke is primed and there is a hole to slip into it shouldnt be too long before game set match occurs,so in that case he needs to look at the porn while stoking the fire simple!
otherwise just get into some freaky German shit!!!
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I Supported Toymods
Location:
south Melbourne/KL
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 22:44
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| Mr DOHC wrote on Wed, 05 January 2005 22:49 |
hmmmmm, piccies, she's blonde, 5'8", about 65-70kg.
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shit!! Thats me!! only im a guy and not blonde
so the problem is he drinks a shit load and doesnt puke?
or cant drink at all??
i would like to share a story. a friend of mine was playing baseball. he jumped frm 1st base straight to 3rd base then went back to 2nd base. he then realised that 2nd base had implants in them and his bat went all soft 
so what he did was wat ur fren can try. imagine having the delicious meals u see on TV commercial when ur just having regular fast food 
make sense??
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 22:53
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stds are bad, mmkay?
so are unplanned pregnancies
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Wed, 05 January 2005 23:53
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| Quote: |
Maybe he's just throwing his hotdog down a hallway and wearing the hazard suit which makes him unweary of the situation, hence he cant complete the mission.
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Finally after reading through all the crap the situation i think sounds most likely. Maybe the bun is too large for the hotdog or the hotdog is too small for the bun? Coupled with an extra layer of pig skin and too much sauce and mustard and this hotdog aint ever gonna get eaten.
| Quote: |
than i was about pounding the crap out of her (we were both young + both virgins at the time)
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Pounding like a mofo is not necessarily the key. More sensual acts of sex quite often prove the better way to get you and your missus off.
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 00:17
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Chicks like it rough even when they say they dont.
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Location:
sydney
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 01:17
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probually GAY
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Location:
Coffs Harbour, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 01:23
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i find it amazing that this thread has had 50 posts in about 14 hours
must be a very popular topic
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 01:37
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| Cool1 wrote on Thu, 06 January 2005 08:17 |
Chicks like it rough even when they say they dont.
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Yeah thats what i used to think, not all the same but!
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 01:50
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I'm with skip on this.
and more accurately, not rough all the time
most girls like to feel loved sometimes, not just used.
tho there are exceptions
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 02:15
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| draven wrote on Thu, 06 January 2005 11:50 |
most girls like to feel loved sometimes, not just used.
tho there are exceptions
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You little bitch. Have you not heard the saying "treat em mean keep em keen"?? Its hella true! Just ask anyone that knows how I treat my girlfriend
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 02:40
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"she's lost that loving feeling...."
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 03:13
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Could always finish the job by hand...
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 03:29
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Just ask if you can pull out and mess all over her face....works for me
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: my mate has issues
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Thu, 06 January 2005 05:38
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| Cool1 wrote on Thu, 06 January 2005 10:15 |
| draven wrote on Thu, 06 January 2005 11:50 |
most girls like to feel loved sometimes, not just used.
tho there are exceptions
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You little bitch. Have you not heard the saying "treat em mean keep em keen"?? Its hella true! Just ask anyone that knows how I treat my girlfriend
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Anyone that knows probably sleeps with your girlfriend too so of course they will agree
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) 6 Vote(s)
