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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:31
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Around 2:00 this morning I was woken from my dream about Minnie's assets.... When I awoke, I found myself yelling and in absolute agony. The WORST pain I've ever felt in my life.
I reached down to where the pain was located, to find my whole calf muscle in a tight little rock-hard ball where the top of it usually is.
And before you say "bah, that's a cramp..." No way man, this was so damn intense that I became nauseous and felt like I was gonna pass out. My gf was freaking out coz all I could do was clench my teeth or yell "AAARRRRGGHHH!!!" lol
So anyways, anyone know what the hell kind of industrial-strength cramp this was??? Somebody at work said it was a pulled muscle, and pregnant chicks get it a lot (she just pumped out her second one and apparently gets them often).
This is also confusing due to the fact that I was sure I was not a chick, let alone pregnant.
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Registered:
February 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:35
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drift.............excessif
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Location:
Cabramatta, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:37
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I used to get these when I was a teenager. Wake up in complete agony.
I played about 4 hours of basketball a day back then, so I attributed it to that, and the fact that I was a growing boy.
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:39
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heavy drinking often results in calf cramping during sleep.
it's basically messed up electroyte balance in your body and uncontrolled muscle activity.
well hopefully thats all it is.
another calf issue is called claudication and it's a sign of poor cardio vascular health and possible blockages.
either way cramping like that isn't normal so get it checked out by a doctor.
if it's a 1 off it probably isn't a big deal but if it happens regularly then definitely sort it out
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:46
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| Nark wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:37 |
I used to get these when I was a teenager. Wake up in complete agony.
I played about 4 hours of basketball a day back then, so I attributed it to that, and the fact that I was a growing boy.
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Hmmm... The only exercise I get lately is X-Box, Playstation or gettin' busy.
Do you reckon it was caused by your muscle increasing Nark? I have put on a lot of muscle-mass (around 25kg) over the last year or so and noticed a couple of days ago that my calfs are farken huge. I guess the size of muscle would make it even worse. It felt like the muscle was trying to rip itself off the bone.
Black MR2 - I don't drink so that can be ruled out. Poor cardio vascular health could definately be an issue though.
My friend at work who suggested it was a pulled muscle also mentioned that it may have something to do with too much salt in the diet, not enough fluids etc.
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:47
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mmm whatever happened id say your gf had something to do with it, put her on a polygraph.
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:49
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| Skip wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:47 |
mmm whatever happened id say your gf had something to do with it, put her on a polygraph.
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You could be on the money there, Skip..... Perhaps she is an alien and was trying to take tissue/muscle samples and my calf was trying to defend itself?
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:54
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| AE86slut wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 12:49 |
| Skip wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:47 |
mmm whatever happened id say your gf had something to do with it, put her on a polygraph.
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You could be on the money there, Skip..... Perhaps she is an alien and was trying to take tissue/muscle samples and my calf was trying to defend itself?
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This is more of what im thinking, just a quick example
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Location:
Cabramatta, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:56
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Could be muscle development. The salt thing has merit too.
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 04:56
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Maybe its the aliens who magically wrap my gf up in the sheet and doona every couple of hours after i have extracted it?
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:00
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| Skip wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:56 |
Maybe its the aliens who magically wrap my gf up in the sheet and doona every couple of hours after i have extracted it?
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Yep, sounds like the same little bastards to me.....
Anyways, you reckon she gave me a farken huge knee to the calf and it pulled itself into a little ball in fear?
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:01
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I get that all the time...wake up saying some highly inappropriate stuff!
Eat more bananas and salt  works for me.
Gatorade/powerade/etc is good too... anything to increase the electorlytes.
Sitting cross legged for long periods of time will cause it as well, or any other seating position where you restrict blood flow...
Problem is, once it has cramped, good luck, there is nothing you can do to make it better or even shorter! just lie there in pain 
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:06
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| Squid wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 16:01 |
I get that all the time...wake up saying some highly inappropriate stuff!
Eat more bananas and salt works for me.
Gatorade/powerade/etc is good too... anything to increase the electorlytes.
Sitting cross legged for long periods of time will cause it as well, or any other seating position where you restrict blood flow...
Problem is, once it has cramped, good luck, there is nothing you can do to make it better or even shorter! just lie there in pain
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Cool, thanks for the input man. I usually drink a fair bit of Powerade and water to keep hydrated, but have slacked off abit over the last few days. I'll give the bananas I try too.
It's the first time I've had a cramp as crazy as this thing, and I want to do anything I can to stop it happening again. The pain is ridiculous! And yeah, the worst thing about cramps is just having to ride it out.
14 hours later and I feel like I've been to the gym the last 2 days and worked on that muscle like Arnie.
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Location:
c'town, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:08
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its due to too much wanking........... or not enuff.......... i forget which one.... 
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:10
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Oh and i used to get it a lot more when I was fit, so it isn't necissarily related.
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Location:
Victoria
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:19
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I get something similar every now and then (not much)
I found the instant i wake up if i feel the pain i force my leg straight for a few moments and its gone.
More salt is allways good
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I Supported Toymods
Location:
south Melbourne/KL
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:20
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| Nark wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:37 |
I used to get these when I was a teenager. Wake up in complete agony.
I played about 4 hours of basketball a day back then, so I attributed it to that, and the fact that I was a growing boy.
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that i believe is caused by not doing stretching AFTER workout.
as for slut, not doin stretching after workout all the time can cause problems later on. could be that in ur case
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:24
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I was expecting something like that from you Rob  
Yeah, the only thing I could do was lie there and try to keep it straight. Bloody hard, but after years of surfing and shagging in cars, I'm used to it!
I can't remember ever stretching after exercise either 
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Location:
Land of Oz
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:36
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Hi,
When you get a calf cramp you should get outta bed asap and walk about. Yeah, yeah, it hurts at first but it's the best way to get rid of the cramp and get the muscle to stretch out and begin working again. Also the calf muscle acts like a pump and walking about will help get the blood flowing again.
Why do you get these cramps? Lack of salt. You should get your diet fixed and stop bludging on ya fat arse playing Xbox. Sitting doing bugger all is asking for deep vein thrombosis - the legs have gotta move about to help the blood flow.
Or, it could be some form of "alien limb" syndrome, but this usually affects the arms and people wake up with one of their own hands trying to choke them. It happens when the left and right hemispheres of the brain don't communicate too well and one side goes off and does it's merry thing without prior consultation from you.
And finally....... what Rob said
seeyuzz
river
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Location:
ghetto area 2745
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:37
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the term for your condition slutty boy is MSB 
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Location:
Liverpool
Registered:
February 2005
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:45
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Deep Vein Thrombosis?
You been flying in your sleep?
Greg
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:45
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| SEXY 16 wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 16:37 |
the term for your condition slutty boy is MSB
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Thanks for your insight River.... 
And wtf is MSB ya Irish hoon??? (note: this better not be one of your lame-ass jokes like Lord of The Burning Ring!)
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Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
September 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:48
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If it happens again, try stretching out your leg and pulling back your toes. Has worked for me before.
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Location:
Cabramatta, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:51
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| gearb0x wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 16:19 |
I found the instant i wake up if i feel the pain i force my leg straight for a few moments and its gone.
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Yeah, I got good at this, when I woke up and recognised the feeling that it was about to start, I'd straighten my leg and pull my ankle and toes back straight away.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:58
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| Skip wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:54 |
| AE86slut wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 12:49 |
| Skip wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:47 |
mmm whatever happened id say your gf had something to do with it, put her on a polygraph.
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You could be on the money there, Skip..... Perhaps she is an alien and was trying to take tissue/muscle samples and my calf was trying to defend itself?
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This is more of what im thinking, just a quick example
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Wait a minute.
Your girlfriend is Robocop??
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Location:
Land of Oz
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 05:58
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Hi,
| Farkurnell wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 16:45 |
Deep Vein Thrombosis?
You been flying in your sleep?
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Well, slut is often up there with the fairies... so to speak. Some even say he is one!
seeyuzz
river
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Location:
Ballarat, Vic.
Registered:
September 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 06:09
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mmmm minnies assest!
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Location:
ghetto area 2745
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 06:10
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MSB= MASSIVE SPERM BUILDUP              
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 06:20
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| Benjamin wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 13:58 |
| Skip wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:54 |
| AE86slut wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 12:49 |
| Skip wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 15:47 |
mmm whatever happened id say your gf had something to do with it, put her on a polygraph.
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You could be on the money there, Skip..... Perhaps she is an alien and was trying to take tissue/muscle samples and my calf was trying to defend itself?
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This is more of what im thinking, just a quick example
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Wait a minute.
Your girlfriend is Robocop??
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No im robocop she is robobiatch
BTW if the cramp was that much of a tight rolled up ball would it help if you massaged it out like a muscle knot in your back?
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 06:41
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| river wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 13:36 |
When you get a calf cramp you should get outta bed asap and walk about. Yeah, yeah, it hurts at first but it's the best way to get rid of the cramp and get the muscle to stretch out and begin working again. Also the calf muscle acts like a pump and walking about will help get the blood flowing again.
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This is my solution.
I get out of bed and put AS MUCH weight on that leg as possible.
Its the only way I've found to get rid of it.
Takes about 5-10secs to dull the pain when it happens.
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 07:22
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| AE86slut wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 14:27 |
| SEXY 16 wrote on Wed, 23 February 2005 17:10 |
MSB= MASSIVE SPERM BUILDUP
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Good one Paul! 
And yeah, I massaged it, lay there and kept it straight, and got up and walked to the kitchen to get a drink, all to try and get the pain to fark off. I guess it went a way reasonably quick once I got up and walked, but then I felt faint and had to lie down again!
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Your gf should have got up and got you the drink seeings it was her fault.
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Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 13:37
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yeah ive had this happen to me a few times recently , haha industrial strength cramp is a good way to put it ... i just lay there and take the fkn pain , feels like such a releif when its gone tho
good to know im not the only one who suffers this shit 
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On Probation
Location:
sydney
Registered:
February 2005
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 13:43
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had it once or twice.
u should stretch before a long session of sex.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 13:53
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Slutty the only logical explanation is MSO...Massive Spunk Overload..
All the prep uve been doing for Mardi Gras has gone too far and ur body just cant break down the extra Man gravy travelling around in ur system,.just chill or the next lot may go straight to ur heart!!
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I supported Toymods
Location:
sydney.au
Registered:
August 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 14:33
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omg this thread =
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Wed, 23 February 2005 23:08
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| riceburna73 wrote on Thu, 24 February 2005 00:53 |
Slutty the only logical explanation is MSO...Massive Spunk Overload..
All the prep uve been doing for Mardi Gras has gone too far and ur body just cant break down the extra Man gravy travelling around in ur system,.just chill or the next lot may go straight to ur heart!!
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Yeah well maybe if you did your job I wouldn't have this problem. Now get on your knees you filthy bitch.
PS - my leg is still fkn sore!
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Thu, 24 February 2005 00:05
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| Quote: |
u should stretch before a long session of sex.
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Pffft.
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Location:
Sydney/Wollongong
Registered:
October 2003
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Location:
Victoria
Registered:
May 2002
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Location:
Land of Oz
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Thu, 24 February 2005 10:54
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Hi,
I used to wake up with bruises, mainly on my arms and shins and black under the eyes. But, that was years ago and I've cut down on substance and alcohol abuse over the years and it doesn't happen anymore.
However, more importantly, I'm a little confused as to why sluts calf muscle would get cramped due to execessive sperm overload?
I'm not a medico but I'll be damned if I can figure out how such a problem would affect one's calf. Of course, slut may have a strange anatomy? If he woke up with a sore scrote, the size of a backpack, then I could beleive the sperm overload.... but the calf muscle!?! Maybe he's got a massive shlong and while he sleeps it raps around his calf like some demented penile-anaconda and tries to strangle the bejesus out of his lower leg. Hmmm, I'll do a net search for "alien penis" syndrome!
seeyuzz
river
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Location:
Jimboomba
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Fri, 25 February 2005 06:28
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| river wrote on Thu, 24 February 2005 21:54 |
Hi,
Maybe he's got a massive shlong and while he sleeps it raps around his calf like some demented penile-anaconda and tries to strangle the bejesus out of his lower leg.
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ROFLMAO
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Location:
central coast, NSW
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Fri, 25 February 2005 06:46
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| ae86drift wrote on Thu, 24 February 2005 01:33 |
omg this thread =
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Fri, 25 February 2005 12:21
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| Conquest wrote on Thu, 24 February 2005 12:11 |
Every so often i'll wake up with massive unexplained bruises on my calves & knees. No idea how I got them since I live alone, sleep alone & alcohol is usually not a factor. Last night I stepped on the floor & somehow managed a long cut on my foot from some broken glass, I don't know where the glass came from but it hurt like hell...
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It sounds like you sleep walk  .
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Location:
Jimboomba
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Fri, 25 February 2005 13:35
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Yeah I get teh same thing regularly and the best way is to just stretch and wait for it to go. It's only ever happened in my right leg and pretty regularly (every few weeks) but once I got it in both arms and couldn't fully move either of them for 2 days without lots of pain.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Sat, 26 February 2005 13:16
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Cramps are generally caused by a lack of salt in the diet not too much. I get the alot in my legs expecially after having my kids, But I don't eat salt at all and I have REALLLLLLLY thin blood so that is also a factor. If it happens to often go to the Dr and have your Factor 8 platelets tested.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Sun, 27 February 2005 00:30
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| Azza wrote on Fri, 25 February 2005 17:28 |
| river wrote on Thu, 24 February 2005 21:54 |
Hi,
Maybe he's got a massive shlong and while he sleeps it raps around his calf like some demented penile-anaconda and tries to strangle the bejesus out of his lower leg.
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ROFLMAO
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that had me in tears!
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Location:
Jimboomba
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Attacked by my own body - Discuss
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Sun, 27 February 2005 09:32
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| bathurst-91 wrote on Sun, 27 February 2005 11:30 |
| Azza wrote on Fri, 25 February 2005 17:28 |
| river wrote on Thu, 24 February 2005 21:54 |
Hi,
Maybe he's got a massive shlong and while he sleeps it raps around his calf like some demented penile-anaconda and tries to strangle the bejesus out of his lower leg.
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ROFLMAO
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that had me in tears!
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Yeah rivers a funny one isnt he
Come on river say something else
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