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I supported Toymods
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
July 2004
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Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 05:34
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Lately I have seen a little bit of wogbashing on this forum, and seeing as i dont care, i left it alone, but if there is a document on how i can become "fully sick" then I feel that people out there wishing to become bogans should really take note and follow the necessary steps to the nirvana of boganism.
PLEASE NOTE: Wogging, is simply posing and anyone can really become "fully sick" overnight, boganism 101 is not for the faint of heart as it takes many years of training to become the ultimate alpha bogan.
Step One: Smoke at least an ounce of weed a week, this is a simple task that really should be undertaken around the age of 13 if you want to be successful in your boganism, it should be smoked, before school, after school, at lunch time under the tree with the other stoners, and during toilet breaks mid lesson, it will be the start of a successful career of boganism as it will most likely force you to drop out of school by around the middle of year ten 
Step Two: The day you decide to drop out of school your first destination should really be the centrelink, if you have a father (i.e. he isnt locked up, dissapeared one night or dead) then go down with him as it is most likely he would get the preffered customer discount due to his many years of long service for the dole, he is a real patriot! Once the money is in your account you are home free, first stop after payment should be the servo to grab the trading post, and then the bottlo for some sustinance, usually in the form of a bottle of the establishments finest, cheapest burbon and a packet of Holiday 50's
Step Three: Upon arriving home with your sustinance and reading material (read: trading post (step two)) you proceed to remove the section "Cars under $1000" and throw the rest of the paper in the bin, or stash it away for splif rolling material later, as you will not be able to afford anything from the other sections anyway, proceed to the cars entitled C for commodore or F for Falcon, the first one that catches your eye for under $350 you instantly call and get the address to go and purchase the car, regardless of condition. Congratulations you now have your own bonafide boonger, warning, the panels must be rusted/unpainted/mismatched in colour and the car must have a mechanical rating of C- or lower otherwhise your father will get jealous and go off in a drunken rage and beat the piss out of you, your mother and your sister.
Step Four: Now that you have your own car you have some freedom, now its time to go and pick up your two mates Darryl and Darren, grab a carton of woodstock burbon and cola and go for a drive through the city looking for the opposite sex, the opposite sex will usually wear clothes that are two sizes too small so thier fat gut will hang out in the area inbetween thier tiny pink top and black green hotpants, combined with 3kg's of makeup to cover thier acne covered skin from a diet of maccas and Horizon 50's and a pair of fuck-me-boots with a hot pick string G string and no bra, so to sum it up, they usually look like hookers of the $30 an hour vairety. Once you find a group of these lovely young females you entice them over to your "wheels" either via the half an ounce of weed you have left or through a couple of cans, this is usually the hardest bit, once you have them in the car its usually plain sailing, first of all you cut a lap with your two mates and 4 girls in the car to show off your fine catch then you head off to the nearest quiet spot, usually the local footy club carpark, get the girls drunk and possibly stoned which shouldnt be too hard, then proceed to have sex with one of the skanky bitches in the bushes.
Step Five: The girl you proceeded to nail that night in the bushes of the footy club carpark has been seeing you more and more lately and you are enjoying yourself, untill you notice that she is getting a little fatter than usual and it sure isnt winter yet. Around 5 months after that fateful night she deicdes to tell you that she is pregnant and its with your baby, as all of the other guys she has slammed in that five months have worn condoms. You dont know what to do so you do what you think your father would have done, you dump her ass on the road and get the fuck out of there. Only its not that simple, she knows where you live and constantly hounds you to take care of the baby to be, so you get roped into having a 15 year old girlfriend pregnant with your soon to be deformed kid, as she has not stopped smoking/drinking/stoning.
Step Six: Ten years go past and you must be driving a new and improved boonger (read: vn commodore) you are still with the same girl that roped you into the defacto relationship, even tho she is fatter, uglier and still wears the same size clothes. You must be a raging alcoholic and a normal morning consists cracking a can of woodstock burbon and washing it down with a Horizon. Then its off to the centrelink office to collet your pay and to explain why you cant work again this week, after ten years of this the guys behind the counter (who have since moved up to upper management) might get a little suspect so remeber to rotate the excuses on 3 month rotational basis, also remeber you get more now becuase your "missus" now has 4 kids and you are renting your fabulous 2 bedroom flat in elizabeth downs.
Congratulations, if you follow these steps to the letter then you will surely become the "ALPHA BOGAN" and be respected by all your bogan peers.
Im pretty sure this will not offend anyone as bogans cant afford the cost of the internet let alone a computer, but one day they might see it if centrelink put in some of those free access computers in thier local branch
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 05:42
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rofl gold! 
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Banned user
Location:
ADELAIDE - The Drift City
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 05:45
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bored at work mate?
grab me some woodies and some weed on the way home from work would ya sport 
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Location:
Newcastle
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 05:46
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LOL good work dude.
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Location:
Tassie
Registered:
October 2003
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
February 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:07
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I see you've pulled yourself out of that rut and your able too look back on it with humour?
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I Supported Toymods
Location:
Casula
Registered:
January 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:24
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I think you nailed it on the head, so which centrelink office did you say you worked at?
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
July 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:31
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| Hi-Ace wrote on Thu, 03 March 2005 16:54 |
I think you nailed it on the head, so which centrelink office did you say you worked at?
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no centrelink office champ, but i have had to go in there for a few documents a couple of times, and i really despise it, some people make me rather sick...
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Location:
Campbelltown, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:31
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i cant believe u people are supporting him, these people cant afford to have the good lifestyle u and i may have, the fact that they spend there doll money on weed and grog doesnt mean they are BOGANS,
oh wait YES IT DOES
ahahah fukn awesome post dude
NOLAN
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:37
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to continue on with MR1GGTE's "BOGANISM BIBLE" i have a few hand hints to offer, each have come with my personal experience studying bogans,
by the time our bogan student is old enough to rent (never own) his own house, there are a few guidlines to follow, this house needs to be timber framed, fibro walled, and tiled roof, lets not forget the fact that half the rooms in the house must have an air conditioner the other half must half space for one, in some cases this means having 1 air con unit, half working.
the exterior of the house must be one of 3 colours, pale blue, pale yellow, or not painted at all, extra points awarded for a mixture of colours.
The sucessful bogan will atleast once in his life have more cars then family members, (in some cases there simply not enough room for this... ie too many boganlings) but fewer then half the automobiles are allowed to run, extra points if no vehicles are working.
a hills hoist clothes line is a must... extra points here if the clothes line top is broken off 'cause of neighbours kids swinging off it, or if it has clothes on it that have been there for more then a month, or better still, if it has car parts hanging off it, after a fresh (aerosol can) spray paint.
lawn care is another big point, you must mow your lawn no more then once a month, however, DO NOT TRIM YOUR EDGES, these are called "highlights" the trendy hot chick do it to their hair. extra points for "highlights" over 1M tall
there must be a bowl under a leaking tap which is attached to the front wall of your house, this serves as a watering bowl for the countless dogs living under your front porch... extra points of your bowl is half a 44gal drum.
your boganlings (offspring) have 1 pair of shoes which will do them for the entireity of their primary school years, from then on, they'll own one more pair of shoes, before they gradyeate (note bad spelling) in grade 10, from then on, they'll wear "double pluggers" which will never cost more then $10. extra points if shoes/"double pluggers" don't match
the roof must have an assortment of items, acceptable items include thongs ("double pluggers"), tennis balls, the neighbours kids football (your kids don't own one), extra points for items of clothing, double extra points if the items of clothing are underwear, TRIPLE extra points if the items of clothing were there before you moved in.
the road infront of your house will be littered with black skid marks, nothing really impressive, probably no more then 1 or 2 meters long, they are NOT the result of your own car it's simply not good enough, they're from the prick down the street who comes past to show off every friday night, extra points if you have left similar black marks out the front of his place, double extra points, if you had his wife in the car at the time
and remember... woging is for the night, boganism is for life
[Updated on: Thu, 03 March 2005 06:50]
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I Supported Toymods
Location:
Casula
Registered:
January 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:49
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And one thing to note:  BEWARE, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
July 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:56
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Excellent addition to my thesis there dude 
| hickoz_bro wrote on Thu, 03 March 2005 17:07 |
and remember... woging is for the night, boganism is for life
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this one omg
/me falls off chair
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 06:57
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hehehe... no problemo dude, all for a good cause... the more bogans, the less wogs
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Location:
central coast, NSW
Registered:
April 2004
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Banned user
Location:
ADELAIDE - The Drift City
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 08:25
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| hickoz_bro wrote on Thu, 03 March 2005 17:07 |
a hills hoist clothes line is a must... extra points here if the clothes line top is broken off 'cause of neighbours kids swinging off it, or if it has clothes on it that have been there for more then a month, or better still, if it has car parts hanging off it, after a fresh (aerosol can) spray paint.
lawn care is another big point, you must mow your lawn no more then once a month, however, DO NOT TRIM YOUR EDGES, these are called "highlights" the trendy hot chick do it to their hair. extra points for "highlights" over 1M tall
the road infront of your house will be littered with black skid marks, nothing really impressive, probably no more then 1 or 2 meters long, they are NOT the result of your own car it's simply not good enough, they're from the prick down the street who comes past to show off every friday night, extra points if you have left similar black marks out the front of his place, double extra points, if you had his wife in the car at the time
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oh my.... his is starting to sound more and more like our place!!! 
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
February 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 10:06
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I see everyone has failed to mention the mighty mullet -a must- "extra points" if your sons is longer than yours.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
February 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 10:31
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Or you could just own one of these....
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Location:
toowoomba qld
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 11:31
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| unforgiven wrote on Thu, 03 March 2005 21:31 |
Or you could just own one of these....
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what a house!
Best thread ever!!!
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 12:24
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hmmm.. acctually this isn't a bogan house at all... please note a few points:
absence of fibro cladding,
absence of a hills hoist,
absence of broken air conditioner units
absence of miscelanious objects on the roof
absence of ford or holden,
i'm afraid this example isn't very bogan like at all... it does however qualify as a first class "redneck-mobile" since it utilises a "utility" or truck as they prefer to call them. it also makes use of timber cladding, and copious amounts of brown. so to the owner of this vehicle, you didn't waste your time, you qualified for the "redneck" award,
Cressida Chick: Bogans Don't own enclosed garages, instead they have carports, extra points if the carport roof is a tarp.
[Updated on: Thu, 03 March 2005 12:26]
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Location:
Melbourne - NthSubs
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 13:45
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i wounder what would happen if centerlink was to close down  ....
LESS TAX ANF LOTS OF DEAD HOMELESS PEOPLE, unles they make a removie dead bodies from the street tax 
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Location:
South Aus
Registered:
June 2003
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 14:46
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oh damn... thats funny as fark.
u forgot one thing...
Flannelette Shirt's a must... in fact extra points if ur bitch of a wife made u the shirt out of old tea towels
gold matt... pure gold
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Location:
South Aus
Registered:
June 2003
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I Supported Toymods
Location:
Casula
Registered:
January 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 03 March 2005 19:56
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Nutin wrong wif ownin a mobile home or as tha call'em in tha states an RV. (thats a funny site)
I thought trackie daks & fleno shirt was the go, with the weed tucked into there balls.
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Location:
Melbourne - NthSubs
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 01:32
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but they had a civic
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Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
September 2003
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 02:27
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Addition to boganism 101:
You must wear flanel at least 9 hours out of everyday.
The same shirt must be worn for two consecutive days.
80's rock, hard rock, most forms of 'old' metal are all acceptable as the ONLY form of music for you to own.
Trackies, Thongs and a dodgy ripped holden monaro tshirt are your best clothes for going out.
A night on the town includes a trip to the 'local', having a few tins, choosing every single screaming jets or inxs track on the jukebox, footy talk with gazza, dazza, shazza, bazza and greg, driving home well pissed, hitting bins with the doors of the kingsy....
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Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 02:46
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Some additional bogan observations I have made during my study of the species:
*the nomenclature (naming) of the species has drifted away from Shazza, Robbo, Tezza etc to a hyphenated system in which the offspring in the new millenium are called names such as Tyler-Morgan, Betheny-Ray etc etc. I believe this is a poor attempt at bogans trying to assimilate with modern society or "class-up" their existence.
*The more scumbag that the dwelling appears to be the better the entertainment system they must have. All dwellings must have at a minimum a pay TV dish bolted to the roof or wall of the house (Commonly referred to as a "Houso-dish") and a TV in excess of 100cm.
*Each Bogan street must have at least one car that is regularly entered into a Street Machine type event (eg Summernats), this vehicle and it's owner are the envy of the street, he represents someone who has really made something of themselves and gives the youngen's something to apsire to. The car was purchased using money from a compo payout back in '92. In the months leading up to the event all dole money/pension must be used to bring the V8 powered vehicle up to the minimum standard for entry. The family must limit spending to only the essentials so all funds can go into the car eg. new red back gear knob, welded chain steering wheel, 265 wide tyres for the 14 inch rims. Shopping essentials include: VB/bourbon and cola/West Coast Coolers (for the ladies), Holiday 50's, Home Brand Fanta (for the little tackers), Home Brand 2 minute noodles, Home Brand sponge cake (these two are for dinner and dessert, or can be used independently on those tight weeks for dinner only) and Jelly Crystals (for the Kids school lunch, any of the red flavoured ones as it keeps the kids attentive during school).
*They never register or insure any vehicle they own and have usually lost their license for DUI. But that's ok because when they crash into a normal persons car they will either piss off instantly or if the vehicle is unable to move will just sit there and whinge about how their whole life is a hard luck story and the world is against them.
*Taking Bogans to court to get money from them for damaging your property is a fruitless effort. No doubt it will have been Shazza driving the car with 6 bogan kids in it. She will just claim she is a "single muvva on da dole" even though she is living with Tezza and the sympathy that she gets will see that you do not get a cent or at worst Shazza will be ordered to pay $5 a fortnight for 7 years to pay you back, you will only ever see $10 of this.
*At bogan weddings or funerals the males will be seen in their least faded black jeans and a bizarre shirt that usually has a string tie up at the top and no collar. These shirts surfaced briefly during the late 80's early 90's and have become a treasured keepsake for the bogan male. Shazza will be seen in tight white pants, g-banger, heels and orange bood toob (the tight white pants may be substituted for "leggings" on the morbidly obese Shazza). The kids will be in Eminem and fake Fox clothing.
*All domestic disputes must be settled at the local shopping mall and screaming at eachother is perfectly fine. Because we all need to know that Tezza (the father of Shazzas baby Tyler-Morgan) has slept with Tracey from up the road. Overuse of the "C" word is most appropriate also.
The Bogan is generally a harmless character and provides hours of laughter for the rest of society. Do yourself a favour, go and laugh at a Bogan today!
I think that unless you are royalty, there is a little bit of Bogan in everyone.........let it out sometime.
[Updated on: Fri, 04 March 2005 02:58]
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 03:57
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Aussie: thanks for pointing out this oversight, i'll make sure to add it to my next publication of "Bogans heros"
i think i know who the fella on the left is too... looks like warwick kappa... the footy guy  anyway, i thought the description said "shoulder lenght hair"
ra23mad: to correct your addition, the ideal bogan wears the same clothes for 1 week (atleast) before taking a shower on saturday night before visiting the "local" to pick up "some hot ckicky babes"
who's seen the commercial about AAMI? the rego? "we'll be meeting down at the pub later with the tommmo, and the davo, and the rego" lol... boganism has made it to advertising
ke382TG: the reason for hyphenated names stems from a long line of in-breeding. originally most boganlings were born with two heads, thus they recieved 2 names, however due to human rights reasons one of the two heads is always promptly removed, the 2 names will however always remain as a memorial to the former conjoined head
you also forgot to mention baked beans (home brand, or for the upper class bogan, SPC) tinned spagetti of same brand, and assorted tinned foods make up a very large part of the bogan diet... if you wanna call it that
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Location:
Campbelltown
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 03:59
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don't forget the satellite dish on the roof cos they are the only ones that get value for money out of pay tv.
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Location:
toowoomba qld
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 08:22
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| rthy wrote on Fri, 04 March 2005 12:32 |
but they had a civic
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they Stole it!! They ran out of money too do up the award winning Kingswood and needed money and all there other "Boganmobiles" wouldn't even fuckin start!
How else would a bogan get a decent car
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Location:
Coffs Harbour
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 09:37
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ROFLFLOL this is the funniest fuckin thread ever, this should be kept in the records or something. and its all so true !
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Location:
central coast, NSW
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 09:57
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what about the roller skates....
F*cken love that house ROFL
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Location:
Blue Mountains
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Fri, 04 March 2005 12:52
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Female Bogans between the ages of 12 and 21 these days wear ultra short denim mini skirts usually small enough to show their hot pink g-string to the world, even in the dead of winter, with those horrible sheepskin Ug-boots. They still havent caught onto the fact that Ug-boots is the shortened form of "Ugliest f**king boots ever made"
Dont forget the latest Bogan sub-species the "Drift Bogans".
The ones who go to Oran Park every second Friday to cheer loudly whenever someone spins and does a burn out but stay quiet as the grave when anyone actually drifts with good speed and angle.
For some reason this species also has trouble comprehending the fact that Commonwhore Utes DO NOT make good drift cars.
They are also identifiable by the blank stares they give you when you talk about D1 and by their unshakeable belief that Fernando is the best drifter because he can do good burnouts and pops lots of tyres.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
February 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 06:52
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| Indi wrote on Fri, 04 March 2005 23:52 |
For some reason this species also has trouble comprehending the fact that Commonwhore Utes DO NOT make good drift cars.
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bullshit, the one out there on satdi was doing better than one of the hachi drivers, and some of the 180 and 200 drivers.
Also, there is a bogan-ish song you should all download, its fkn funny as, its called the sunscreen song by john safran
DOWNLOAD IT NOW
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Location:
Baulko Hillo
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 09:27
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| Indi wrote on Fri, 04 March 2005 23:52 |
Dont forget the latest Bogan sub-species the "Drift Bogans".
The ones who go to Oran Park every second Friday to cheer loudly whenever someone spins and does a burn out but stay quiet as the grave when anyone actually drifts with good speed and angle.
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Oh so so so true!
It's even been dubbed 'Bogan Hill' now.
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Location:
Land of Oz
Registered:
June 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 09:54
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Hi,
| hickoz_bro wrote on Fri, 04 March 2005 14:57 |
ke382TG: the reason for hyphenated names stems from a long line of in-breeding. originally most boganlings were born with two heads, thus they recieved 2 names, however due to human rights reasons one of the two heads is always promptly removed, the 2 names will however always remain as a memorial to the former conjoined head
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This, in itself, is not normally a problem, but the genetics of the bogans ensure that each head only gets half a brain. So, despite being endowned with two heads, there is, alas, one brain. The unfortunate consequence of removing one of the heads (which, I may add, is a feat in itself to determine the ugliest of two equally horrid heads) is the removal of half the brain.
And I think I read in the Medical Journal that a bogan brain isn't really the size of a normal brain - it's usually a turbo'd dog brain or a twin-cam gibbon brain. Despite these performance add-ons, the bogan brain still underperforms your basic NA human brain. When you halve this underwhelming organ, you get even less brain-power. However, it's still enough for rudimentary speech, rutting, drinking, minimal clothing sense and burn-outs.
seeyuzz
river
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Location:
Blue Mountains
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 10:08
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| unforgiven wrote on Mon, 07 March 2005 17:52 |
bullshit, the one out there on satdi was doing better than one of the hachi drivers, and some of the 180 and 200 drivers.
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And if you put him in a hachi or 180 or 200 he'd probably drift even better 
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Location:
ghetto area 2745
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 10:18
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indi you are right but i would take a lot more skill to hold on to sumfim that size
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Location:
Blue Mountains
Registered:
December 2004
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Location:
Campbelltown, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 11:10
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| unforgiven wrote on Mon, 07 March 2005 17:52 |
| Indi wrote on Fri, 04 March 2005 23:52 |
For some reason this species also has trouble comprehending the fact that Commonwhore Utes DO NOT make good drift cars.
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bullshit, the one out there on satdi was doing better than one of the hachi drivers, and some of the 180 and 200 drivers.
Also, there is a bogan-ish song you should all download, its fkn funny as, its called the sunscreen song by john safran
DOWNLOAD IT NOW
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i would like to second this INDI
...the guy in the red VR ute on saturday is a fuckin awesome drifter, his wayne gardner spec ute is an awesome drift car,( i work with this guy )
and u cant say putting him in a 86 would make him "drift better" as every1 is used to there own car, it would take alot of skill to drift somethign that heavy ( not taking anything away from the 86 drifters i believe all drifters are talented,
so in conclusion commodore utes can make aweosome drift cars,
NOLAN
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I Supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
December 2002
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 11:42
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Anyone else think this picture looks like Witzl with a beanie?
A picture of Witzl for reference.
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Location:
Campbelltown, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 11:50
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hey buddy he is gunna love u for that one
an awesome foto of the whitzl aswell
LOL
NOLAN
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I Supported Toymods
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
December 2002
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 12:06
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| Nolan wrote on Mon, 07 March 2005 22:50 |
hey buddy he is gunna love u for that one
an awesome foto of the whitzl aswell
LOL
NOLAN
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He is definately a very photogenic person.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
July 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 12:07
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LOL @ witzl crackhead photo
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Toymods Social Secretary
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 12:13
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i do not condone this thread.
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 12:25
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unforgiven: you think the sunscreen song is funny... check out "not the sunscreen song"
commonwhore utes may be able to drift... but remember someone said we'd never been able to fly. some bogans have taken the megre tools they have and done great things... ummm like... ummmm... peter brock, a very famous bogan, took his megre torana and made a few million with it... eventually he lost his long hair, as he gained years. he even lessened his bogan status, but one fact remains he still drives a holden. and it all started with just a little big of bogan. that's not to say someone CAN'T be a good bogan, he was probably the guy who did skids infront of boganX's house.
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Location:
VIC, Sth Frankston.
Registered:
July 2003
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 12:27
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LOL @ Witzl.
Boganism is Crumpledoors vs Foulcoons
aka pushrods vs pushrods...
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Location:
toowoomba qld
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 12:27
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| hickoz_bro wrote on Mon, 07 March 2005 23:25 |
unforgiven: you think the sunscreen song is funny... check out "not the sunscreen song"
commonwhore utes may be able to drift... but remember someone said we'd never been able to fly. some bogans have taken the megre tools they have and done great things... ummm like... ummmm... peter brock, a very famous bogan, took his megre torana and made a few million with it... eventually he lost his long hair, as he gained years. he even lessened his bogan status, but one fact remains he still drives a holden. and it all started with just a little big of bogan. that's not to say someone CAN'T be a good bogan, he was probably the guy who did skids infront of boganX's house.
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Location:
Coffs Harbour
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 23:30
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hahaha funniest thread ive seen in ages
i ran into some of these bogans, coming home from uni(for any1 in coffs i was going up the big banana hill traveling north) and over the sound of my rollas exhaust (not greatly loud but decent) and the stereo(may have been cranked up a bit cause i was just about to get on the highway ) i could hear this enginge making all sorts of noises coming up to overtake me, and when i got a look at them what did i see ? bogans. . . an old commonwhore wagon, red p plater driving, fat chick in passenger seat and two bogan mates(most likely dazza and davo) in the back. Now it wasn't the fact that they were bogans that irritated me, it was the fact that he looked at my rolla(umm sorta might be kermitt green) and started laughing and so did the fat bit*# in the front(only smirks from the two in the back) so to show these bogans how crappy i thought their car was i accelerated up the inside lane(not crazy speed, just a slow acceleration) so i stayed out in front, knowing that once we hit the overtaking lane again they would give it all they had to try to put to shame my poor little rolla. So as expected they tried to overtake me, their crappy commonwhore maxing out at 120 the guy in the fron laughing again, i drop back a gear, hit power(4age is all high range so no power untill about 4000rpm) and very quickly wipe the smile off his face it was priceless, up the inside lane, didnt realise how fast i was actually goin cause of the stitches i was in from the look on the guys face, so i backed off and there he is again 5 mins later sitting up my ass, hmm they just never learn
People don't expect much out of ae82's but she sure hooks, hmmmm 180 halfway thru 4th, so much potential...
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Location:
Coffs Harbour
Registered:
October 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Mon, 07 March 2005 23:32
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hmmm maybe there is a little bogan in all of us. . .
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Location:
toowoomba qld
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Tue, 08 March 2005 01:19
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The original song is "13 stitches" By NOFX but I changed some of the words (well most of the lyrics) too suit bogans
The first time I seen some bogans
they where the biggest fuckheads I did see
everyone in the VB thought the were fully sic
but to me there were fucking tryhards
after a couple a months it had a 253
and raced my standard WB ute
the ute kept up
and I just had too laugh
and I thought what, a fuckhead
the next car I brought was a Camry
the VL bogans just had to laugh
they gave me shit about my hubcaps, and I said VL's look the same they kinda suck!
except the standard ones old people drive about
not ones driven by cunts!
that get wrapped around light poles
cause traffic light warriors are very gay!
all of the bogans eventually end up in hospital
with 13 stiches in the head
they some how loose control while drifting, and slam straight in a pole
there fat bitch starts to cry because she'll have too walk
insted of get a free lift
Don't worry bitch walking is free
while Bazza and Dazza recover from brain surgery!
sorry I'm just very bored
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Location:
Campbelltown, NSW
Registered:
November 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Tue, 08 March 2005 06:06
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| THE WITZL wrote on Mon, 07 March 2005 23:13 |
i do not condone this thread.
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i dont think any1 cares
ahah jks dude
NOLAN
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Location:
Blue Mountains
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 24 March 2005 01:09
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Whilst on the Penrith Council website I came across this amusing piece of trivia.... guess which council has the highest australian born population? Bogan Council hahahaha
| Quote: |
Penrith has 72.7 % persons born in Australia. This figure ranks Penrith 157th our of 200 in the state. Bogan Shire has 92.9% persons born in Australia.
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 24 March 2005 02:23
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aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssss
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Location:
Jimboomba
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 24 March 2005 09:31
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I met her in a disco
She was dancing like a monkey
She sidled up to me and asked
"Do ya like to get funky?"
Now Dancing is something
A man should never do
Like learning to use spices
Or owning more than two pair of shoes
Still, I was toey as a bastard
And needed to cop a root
So I pranced and danced and moved about
Like a dirty great galoot
A few hours later
I finally stopped her and asked:
"Do ya wanna dose of cupid?"
She laughed in my face
And then went on to say:
"I assumed by the way you danced,
That you where fuckin gay!"
Then she turned around
And without a backwards look
Went home to root some mullet cunt
By the name of chook!
The moral of this story is simple and full of rancour!
It's better to be a bogan prick
Than a fancy dancing wanker!
Cheers,
Azza.
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Location:
Sunny Coast
Registered:
March 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Wed, 13 April 2005 13:10
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You seem to know alot about your local centrelink branch man... if that is a bogan then there must be a little bogan in all of us...
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
July 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Wed, 13 April 2005 14:59
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I am not a bogan, i have never been on the dole and thankfully can say I probably never will
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Location:
BRAY PARK BRISBANE
Registered:
March 2005
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 14 April 2005 01:40
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read this
You may have the sickest car on the street, but you will get laughed down the drain if all you have pumping out the windows during any laps down your favourite cruising street is the stock AM radio that came with it.
Buying a stereo for your beloved beast can be a stressful time, but our friends at website WogLife share your pain and have summarised their many years of experience in this handy guide.
1. Make sure you bring at least 1 cousin and 2 mates to the store.
Having large numbers of people with you will indicate to the salesperson that you mean business and have brought friends along with you to help carry the speakers back home on the bus.
2. Wear your trendiest Adidas tracksuit in case there are any chicks in the shop.
This goes without saying, there are bound to be a bunch of Marias purchasing the Mariah Carey back catalogue and you can dazzle them with your style, they may even confuse the bundle of cash in your pocket for something else.
3. Make sure you have your mates ring you on your latest Nokia phone.
Let people know that your time is valuable and that you don't have time to waste, this can really help cut down negotiation time when clinching the deal, plus a fully mad ring tone always turns heads.
4. Find the most expensive stereo in the shop and ask for it for under $500.
This will break the ice with the salesperson, and you will be the first person EVER to ask for this.
5. Offer the salesman a bribe.
The salesman has been trained to expect this, it is part of the ancient history of trade with roots in the Phoenician markets. The size of the bribe you offer him is a direct indication of the level of respect you have for him, his ancestors and his profession. (If you offer more than $100 you're a stooge.)
6. Always ask: "You do less for cash?"
And it doesn't matter if you are a Rhodes Scholar... the question must be asked this way or it will have no effect. It has a subliminal effect on any experienced salesperson which immediately puts them on WOG ALERT, after which they will offer you more of a discount than they are authorised to in the hope that you will leave the store quickly.
7. Ask the salesman if he knows your cousin Ahmed cause he told you that "this guy's gonna do you a full sick deal..."
This shows the salesperson that you have been referred to his establishment by a prior customer, so give it a try even if you don't have a cousin called Ahmed. With any luck, Ahmed was a real ball breaker and the salesperson will once again fall into WOG ALERT and give you a discount and show you the way out.
8. When buying an amp make sure it goes to 11!
All serious hi-fi enthusiasts know that 11 is louder than 10 and therefore better by 10%. Don't be fooled by amps that go to 12, these are cheap Taiwanese copies and are strictly for stooges.
9. Make sure that you buy at least 1 more sub than your mate.
Many State transport authorities are changing laws to require all sick car owners to display a sticker on the rear number plate indicating the number of sub woofers installed in the vehicle. There is some dispute as to whether the number should indicate the total number of installed speakers or the total installed inches of speaker diameter ... a very controversial topic that we at WogLife plan to monitor very closely..
10. Make sure the stereo has a remote.
At first most people think this is a gimmick, but it gives you the ability to stand outside the car at Maccas and turn up the stereo so everyone situated within a 5 km radius can hear it, and if the remote is powerful enough you can do it from a safe distance so as to avoid damage to your own eardrums.
11. If you intend to use your stereo in Brighton (Sydney) or Chapel St (Melbourne), you must own a Gemini/WRX/GTR or any chick-pulling car ... nothing older than 1975.
Cars manufactured prior to 1975 have a design flaw which means that the sustained vibrations delivered by a series of subwoofers attached to the chassis could lead to cracking of the engine mounts. There's nothing more embarrassing than having your entire engine hit the road while you and your 6 cousins are hanging out the window whistling at passers by.
12. If the salesman doesn't give you a discount tell him he's a skippy poofter and you're gonna come back with your cousins to sort him out.
This can be very effective, but only use it after you have exhausted all other negotiation tactics. It is even more effective if the salesmen is obviously a bigger wog than you are and is wearing a WogLife T-shirt.
13. After your have installed the stereo, make sure you massively exaggerate the price to everyone.
Tell everyone you spent $10,000, even if you only paid $2,000 ... but brag that you got $5000 off cause you have such world-class bargaining skills. Remember to refer all your friends to the salesmen and get them to mention you by name. Then after a few months go back to the shop and walk up to him, if he doesn't immediately call the cops, ask for a commission and leave with the comment "mate, you would be nowhere if it wasn't for me".
14. Sorry, but no, Adidas does not make car stereos.
Unfortunately Kappa and Adidas have yet to realise the potential of the in-car entertainment market, if you are interested in pointing this stupid mistake out to the marketing and product development people at Adidas, email them at eh_youse_should_sell_stereos@adidas.com
15. You now have a full sick stereo in your car ... just 500 more dole checks and it's paid off.
Your standing in the community has just sky-rocketed, and your profile among the police community will without doubt also undergo a bit of a lift.
and this...
This is a simple reference on how a WRX owner drives 2 Brighton on
Sunday nights.
Firstly your WRX must be a 98 model onwards so people can see the
updated front bar.
If you are really sik you will replace the fog lights with STI light covers.
When u go to Brighton it must be between 8 pm and 10 pm on a Sunday night as this is when all the sick cars come out of their hives.
Your car must be lowered at least 2 inches, have 17 inch wheels as a minimum and some form of loud noise must be emitted from your car whether it's the 4 subwoofers in your boot, or your 3.5 inch mandrel bent exhaust, either way people will not turn to look at your sik car unless it sounds loud.
If possible, organise with your cousin Ahmod and his friend from
school Mahamod to drive behind you in their own cars, and remember you must be the leader of the pack in your sik WRX.
Behind you should be a Rotary of some sort then a Lancer or a GT-i. And remember yours must be the loudest.
Your number plate should be the black and yellow NSW plates, usually showing your stupid mentality by having something like FULSIK, 2NVME or YULLAH. Then if you see a car coming opposite you that looks sicker than yours remember you must NOT turn your head, only move your eyes so as to not satisfy the other drivers ego, only when he has driven past u can you then take a quick look at his car and resume driving. Remember you must attempt to get stuck in peak hour traffic on Bay St, this is usually around 9.30 pm. the crowd that stands outside Oporto's will look at your full sik, lowered, turbo, 3pac enamel, window tinted, colour coded skirts, auction job car with awe and amazement and wonder where you got the money to buy such a car.
Usually they will think that you are a drug dealer or you and your cousin Mohammed are panel beaters and go to Mindare auctions every Wednesday and scoop up all the cars. People will think it's a show car then some one will recognize it and say they see it at Bankstown square every Saturday morning.
After you have paraded for a good 10 mins on Bay St, turn on to grand parade, remember try to get caught at the lights, and when u do turn the music off. this will give the huge crowd crossing a chance to hear your beautifully refined engine and hear the rumble of the exhaust, and they will definitely think you are sick because you are original and have the music off, they will think you are getting ready to thrash your auction job car.
Note: make sure that you drive at night so people can’t see the dodgy paint job you and your cousin Mohammed did after you bought the car from the auctions. As you turn on to grand parade red line your car and let go and make sure people hear the whoosh of the turbo, now as everyone has heard your turbo you can then drive easily with the knowledge that your ego is satisfied. Don't try to drag because your car already has 3 of your cousins and 2 of your friends in it and you would lose if you did try to drag.
Remember: a sik WRX owner always performs at least 3 laps around Brighton and must be seen within a pack of other done up cars. Approximately once a month you can park your car and get out to get something to eat, usually a kebab or Oporto's, but normally you are there to do happy laps.
If you see MR-WRX you must attempt to stay as close to him as
possible, this way people will think you are his friend. And remember because you
drive a WRX your mobile phone should be a minimum of a Nokia 8210 or Ericsson
t28s, and you must have a custom ring tone usually you would have downloaded
it from yourmobile.com. And you should receive at least 3 SMS messages
from your other wog "friends" so your wog friends in your car think you’re
really special. Usually though it's your mum and she wants to know where you
are, and when you're bringing her car back...
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
July 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 14 April 2005 02:06
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^^^ that clearly falls under the act of wogging and should not be used in conjunction with boganism in anyway
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Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 14 April 2005 09:21
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Real bogan training starts much earlier than smoking weed at 13. Potential bogans must as babies/toddlers spend at least 5 hours a day, four days a week being pushed around the local westfield in a pusher whilst sucking on a dummy (regardless of age).
They must accompany mum & boyfiend during visits to the local centrelink to complain about being breached for not going to work for the dole, the bank to complain about them taking out a $20 fee 3 times in the last month because their account was overdrawn and the housing trust office to tell them dazza's moved out, shane's moving back in, that 16 year old "auntie" shania-jay's moving in for a while 'cause grandma threw her out and the lawn will be mowed when their dodgy insurance claim goes through for their stolen lawnmower.
This is all followed by and hour or so every now and then with their neighbour's cousin sharlene and her 3 kids (who are always hanging around down the shopping centre as well) while mum and shane chuck their last $20 down on the pokies.
All this occurs continuously between the ages of 1 week and the time they start school.
Drew. 
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On Probation
Location:
Hobart
Registered:
December 2004
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Re: Boganism 101
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Thu, 14 April 2005 14:36
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there are many points above which have only been lightly covered.. i would like to point out some more in depth points:
1. Styling:
There are different styles of bogans, although all bogans still fall under the same class... there are many extremes.
For each generation there is a different style.
For the young, male 2-10 year old bogan child it is often, mullet/rats tail hair cut, ninja turtle hand me down jumper, cotton track suit pants, blundstone boots/ugly vinyl black shoes. females the same age can either follow suite depending on parent, else females dress like hookers.
for the young male aged 10-15, this is where the category's of bogans occur, althought they all have samilar personalities, the dress sense is different.
Category 1:
Wu Tang/DaDa/FuBu/Ecko attire is worn, Bright distintive colours are present within this category, the bright colour is a natural warning sign to other species of bogans wat mood they are in.. Yellow often signals, looking for a mate, Red, aggressive, Green, cautionous, Blue, Unpredictable, Silver, exotic, Others colour there can be a wide variety of moods.
Category 2:
Adidas/Nike/Puma attire is worn. This is more present in females, as they have outgrown there Hooker outfits and now must wear there boyfriend/husbands clothes.
Category 3:
Flanny, tight jeans, This is usually warn in the final stages of this group.
We move on next to the 15-25. Bogans at this point have moved on from BMX bikes to cars. It is usually in this age group that a bogan will inherit either a Holden or Ford from am elder within hte family/tribe!!
Because of the age of these cars usually in the early 1980's era.. (TX,LX,VB,VH,VK,VL / XB,XF) the bogans will try, and i stress the word TRY to modify these cars to be of a "Modern" new car status. Such mods include;
4" exhaust pipe
Blingy 19" chrome wheels,
External monster tacho(on auto usually)
new unusal paint colour(Hot pink, purple, green, orange)
As from the short list above we can see that an older style car has now been made to try to look modern and sound "worked"
The style in which these vehicles are driven should be followed closely, as incorrect position can result in injury:
1. Seat must be more than 90% reclinded
2. Hand placed at 12 o'clock postion on steering wheel
3. head must face out drivers side window at all time
4. Switching between N and D in Auto models is a must to give the effect of a manual car!
following these steps will ensure success..
the final stage is the 25+,
at least 3 offspring must be present to preserve and continue the life style as benfits often paid by the government can be stopped.
Remeber this guide is not intended at any particular person, but if you fall into any of these stages then the answer is obvious!
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