| Author | Topic |
|---|
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
|
|
Politician gets a helping hand
|
Thu, 22 September 2005 12:40
|
 |
Politician gets a helping hand..
A man, on his way home from work, came to a dead halt in traffic and
thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's
even moving."
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines
of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer what's the hold
up?"
The officer replies, "John Howard is just so depressed about the
thought of moving with Janette back to Lane Cove that he stopped his
motorcade in the middle of the freeway and he's threatening to douse
himself in petrol and set himself on fire.
He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the money to pay for the
new house renovations, so we're taking up a collection for him.
"Oh really? How much have you got so far?"
"About three hundred litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning."
..Post up you funniest jokes  .
[Updated on: Thu, 22 September 2005 12:46]
|
|
|
Location:
Perth
Registered:
April 2003
|
|
Re: Politician gets a helping hand
|
Thu, 22 September 2005 19:47
|
|
Damn. Joke only eh.
Just got the siphon out.
|
|
|
Location:
new castle
Registered:
July 2005
|
|
Re: Politician gets a helping hand
|
Fri, 23 September 2005 00:44
|
|
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
Two litres of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
Two litres of orange juice,
A lettuce,
1 kg can of coffee,
And 2kg package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk
calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by
this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition,
since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt
and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could
have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly "
|
|
|
Location:
Blue Mountains
Registered:
December 2004
|
|
Re: Politician gets a helping hand
|
Fri, 23 September 2005 02:00
|
|
An old political joke.....
One day Paul Keating was being driven by his chauffeur through the bush when suddenly a pig ran out from a farm and was hit by his limo killing it instantly. Being a pig farmer himself Paul Keating was extremely distressed and insisted that the chauffeur go up to the farmhouse and apologize personally. The chauffeur came back two hours later drunk and reeking of champagne, smoking a cigar and covered in lipstick. Paul demanded to know what the hell was going on. The chauffeur said "I went up to the farmhouse and apologized like you told me to and suddenly the farmer started cheering and gave me a cigar, the farmer's wife popped open a bottle of champagne and shared it around, then the farmer's daughter took me into her room and made mad, passionate love to me!". Paul Keating's jaw hit the ground, he said "What on earth did you say to them?" the chauffeur replied.... "All I said was I'm sorry but I'm Paul Keating's chauffeur and I just killed the pig!".
|
|
|
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
September 2003
|
|
Re: Politician gets a helping hand
|
Fri, 23 September 2005 02:42
|
|
^^^^^
, good one.
|
|
|
Location:
toowoomba qld
Registered:
March 2004
|
|
Re: Politician gets a helping hand
|
Sat, 24 September 2005 13:49
|
|
This was in my email i got a bit of a laugh out of:
Two blondes are lost in the woods. It is getting dark and they start to panic. They begin running and running never realizing that they are running deeper and deeper into the woods.
Suddenly they burst into a clearing and stop right in the middle of some tracks. The first blonde is very scared and says "I think these are bear tracks!"
The second blonde says "You're stupid! I don't know what kind of tracks they are but they definitely are not bear tracks!"
The first blonde gets angry and says "Don't call me stupid! You're the stupid one!"
They are still arguing when they get hit by the train.
|
|
|
Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
|
|
Re: Politician gets a helping hand
|
Sun, 25 September 2005 10:48
|
|
absolutely love that paul keating one....
Should be a political joke thread 
|
|
|
