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Hi-Ace
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I Supported Toymods

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Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Sun, 25 September 2005 21:59 Go to next message
Doctors Or Guns

Doctors:
The number of doctors in the U.S. is 700,000.
Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000.
Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%.
These statistics are a courtesy of the U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services.

Guns:
The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000 (yes that's 80 million).
The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%.
These statistics are a courtesy of the FBI.

In Conclusion:
Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.

NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE
DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, the Federal Government has withheld statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

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clubagreenie
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Sun, 25 September 2005 22:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Doctors don't kill people. Their handwriting does.
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SIMDOG
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Sun, 25 September 2005 22:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
clubagreenie wrote on Mon, 26 September 2005 08:33

Doctors don't kill people. Their handwriting does.

tru dat. Mad
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bathurst-91
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Sun, 25 September 2005 23:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yeah and what about factoring in how many people die from NON-ACCIDENTAL gunshot wounds.

Moreso. How many people die because their doctor made a mistake while treating them FOR GUNSHOT WOUNDS.

ps. I know its a joke, but Im anti-gun. Cool
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Corona RT142
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Sun, 25 September 2005 23:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
To really verify the facts though you need to look behind them, ie what constitutes a mistake. Ie does it include a patient or family witholding a history (it does happen), another fact you might wanna consider is that even though a mistake was made potentially those ppl may have died anyway, ie serious condition.

Three during this time how many patients did they see, sure there 700,000 doctors but thats for 250 million ppl and hence figures are really artificially inflated.
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thu187
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Mon, 26 September 2005 04:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
You guys should relax. It's a joke!

That's GOLD!! Laughing Laughing
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Shraka
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November 2003
Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Mon, 26 September 2005 12:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Bleh, it's a stupid joke.

It's so slanted I wont even start to pull it appart 'cuz it'd take to long to pick all the holes in it.
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AW11 no Jitsu
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May 2005
Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Mon, 26 September 2005 14:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
bathurst-91 wrote on Mon, 26 September 2005 09:17

Yeah and what about factoring in how many people die from NON-ACCIDENTAL gunshot wounds.

Moreso. How many people die because their doctor made a mistake while treating them FOR GUNSHOT WOUNDS.

ps. I know its a joke, but Im anti-gun. Cool


Do you prefer accidental stabbings then?
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b103/daigon/osakaMorning.jpg
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Hi-Ace
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I Supported Toymods

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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Mon, 26 September 2005 21:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Ok guys, sorry for that one. Try this one:

An elderly man in Darwin had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe
courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and
fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been
there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to
bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As
he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his
pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out........until you
leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked
or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said..........."I'm here to feed the alligator.!!!"

Moral: Old men can still think fast!
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thu187
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 00:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Roundy
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 01:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
LOL go old dude!!!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Corona RT142
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 01:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hi-Ace wrote on Tue, 27 September 2005 07:14

Ok
Holding the bucket up he said..........."I'm here to feed the alligator.!!!"

Moral: Old men can still think fast!

Nah he's still a stupid old fool, cos we have crocodile's in Australia not alligators, but its a great joke.
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AW11 no Jitsu
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The Shire
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May 2005
Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 06:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Corona RT142 wrote on Tue, 27 September 2005 11:54

Hi-Ace wrote on Tue, 27 September 2005 07:14

Ok
Holding the bucket up he said..........."I'm here to feed the alligator.!!!"

Moral: Old men can still think fast!

Nah he's still a stupid old fool, cos we have crocodile's in Australia not alligators, but its a great joke.


But would most people be able to tell the difference, especially young females?
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cannonball
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 06:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Theres a few hints in the joke that it used to be a US farmer. Good joke though Laughing
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ke382TG
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May 2002
Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 06:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Quote:

Nah he's still a stupid old fool, cos we have crocodile's in Australia not alligators, but its a great joke.


Rona, you're about as much fun as having a screw driver stabbed through your scrotum Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Holding the bucket up he said..........."I'm here to feed the alligator.!!!"



Then once they got out he fed his trouser snake a few rounds of clam:lol:

[Updated on: Tue, 27 September 2005 06:55]

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Lench
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sydney
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 08:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
AW11 no Jitsu wrote on Tue, 27 September 2005 00:21

bathurst-91 wrote on Mon, 26 September 2005 09:17

Yeah and what about factoring in how many people die from NON-ACCIDENTAL gunshot wounds.

Moreso. How many people die because their doctor made a mistake while treating them FOR GUNSHOT WOUNDS.

ps. I know its a joke, but Im anti-gun. Cool


Do you prefer accidental stabbings then?
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b103/daigon/osakaMorning.jpg

goooo osaka!!!! Laughing
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cannonball
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 08:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ke382TG wrote on Tue, 27 September 2005 16:54

Rona, you're about as much fun as having a screw driver stabbed through your scrotum Rolling Eyes


Now thats funny, I actually laughed so hard a tear came to my eye Laughing

[Updated on: Tue, 27 September 2005 08:38]

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Hi-Ace
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I Supported Toymods

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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 21:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sad Wow some of you guys are hard to please.
I'm glad I'm not trying to make a living telling jokes to you lot. Sad
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Hi-Ace
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I Supported Toymods

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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 21:39 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Very Happy Ok you want one more, ok then Very Happy
This one is for you workers out there.

.....The differences between you and your boss.....

When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a
mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your
authority. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed. When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're ass creeping. When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Laughing
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cannonball
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Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 22:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sounds like my boss Confused Laughing
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illuminatus
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eastern suburbs, melbourne
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March 2005
Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 23:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Three aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve,
Bruce and Bluey.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and
tell his wife."
Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave
you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Bluey says.
"When she answered the door, I said to her,'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.' And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of
Fosters you are'."
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MR 1JZ
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I supported Toymods

Location:
Adelaide
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July 2004
Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Tue, 27 September 2005 23:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Corona RT142 wrote on Tue, 27 September 2005 11:24

Hi-Ace wrote on Tue, 27 September 2005 07:14

Ok
Holding the bucket up he said..........."I'm here to feed the alligator.!!!"

Moral: Old men can still think fast!

Nah he's still a stupid old fool, cos we have crocodile's in Australia not alligators, but its a great joke.


its ok..your mum still thinks your cool
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cannonball
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July 2004
Re: Public Service Announcement. (Work Safe) Wed, 28 September 2005 02:37 Go to previous message
OK, just got this in an Email, so if you've heard it before, So solly Razz

One morning Donald Rumsfeld is debriefing President Bush on the latest events. Finally he finishes with the news that "3 Brazillian soldiers were killed".

"Oh no", proclaims Bush, "thats terrible"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks..........

"How many is a Brazillion ??!"
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