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gianttomato
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Be alert but not alarmed Tue, 04 March 2003 13:02 Go to next message
The Yanks have this website for scaring the public called
www.ready.gov

Anyway, the folk here have made their own captions for the visual aids. Funny.
http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?threadid=46 223&perpage=25&pagenumber=1
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Norbie
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 00:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ROTFL! Gold!
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justcallmefrank
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 00:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
That shit is soo funny!!!
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Matt16v
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 01:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
i was chasing a terrorist arrow last night...

geez those things are fast!!

Laughing Laughing Laughing
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biased99
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May 2002
Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 02:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Just goes to show that maybe we AREN'T all sheep, as the Government/s want us to be...

Maybe there's hope for us yet!
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AE86
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May 2002
 
Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 02:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Those dictators pruned off the last 14 pages! Probably a good thing because I would have laughed myself to death if there was more than one page.
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GEE120
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 02:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
haha, ROFLMAO. Laughing Laughing Laughing
That brightened up my day. Crappy day at work and i really cant be stuffed.
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ed_ma61
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 02:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_drop_roll2.gif
If you want to put a 302 into your car, and youre sick of listening people tel you what a bad idea it is, throw yourself down on the floor, cover your eyes, and roll around yelling "La La La La La I cant hear you! I cant hear you!"



[Updated on: Wed, 05 March 2003 03:01]

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SCO-77K
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January 2003
Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 02:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
LOL oh my god! that is so funny!!
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justcallmefrank
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 02:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
You forgot the "La la, la, la la" bit Ed....what were you thinking? Very Happy
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Nark
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      Nark@toymods.net/Work
icon10.gif  Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 04:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://ready.gov/i/vis_high_windows.gif
A 302 is a bad idea? Talk to the hand 'coz the face ain't listening.
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Nark
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      Nark@toymods.net/Work
icon10.gif  Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 04:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_road.gif
If a rice boy's car blows up. Pull to the side, point, and laugh.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_dont_run2.gif
If you were smoking while doing your engine conversion and catch on fire. Don't run. Loser. You deserve to get burnt!

http://ready.gov/i/expl_vis_smoke.gif
If your car is running too rich, check the ground for a tuning manual.

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_resp.gif
If you need money for your engine conversion, you can sell these for finance.

http://ready.gov/i/expl_vis_family2.gif
If you still need money, then try selling these... You'll even have more room for the engine crane to sit in the living room.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_rad_news.gif
Avoid thinking of these when you're saving up for the next mod.

http://ready.gov/i/expl_vis_cover_nose2.gif
If you've got a 4A, cry like a girl.

http://www.ready.gov/i/sg_left.gif
What do you think will be faster over the quarter mile?

Yes, I'm bored. Very Happy
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gianttomato
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 04:48 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/sni_left.gif
Listening to Robbo's inane drivel will turn you to drugs.

[Updated on: Wed, 05 March 2003 04:49]

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gianttomato
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 04:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/f_left.gif
Fresca and apples are the staple diet of the ricer.
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Apollo
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 10:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_radio2.gif

Subliminal messages may come from your kenwood head unit encouraging you to rice your car and plaster it with 2 foot tall kenwood stickers.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_area2.gif

Comtemplate microwaving your fish and chicken dinners.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_exit2.gif

When you need a smoke, following red exit signs leads to the basement. Only follow the green exit signs to get to the other smokers.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_smoke2.gif

Once there, you may find that there are too many other bludging smokers that take too many 10 min breaks every day causing you to have to follow the trail of butts on the ground to the ashtray.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_wash2.gif

Remember to wash your hands after playing with dirty bombs.

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_wash2.gif

Telstra bigpond employees are filthy, who surf the net wanking to porn all day. Always wash your hands after touching their shit.
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Matt16v
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Wed, 05 March 2003 22:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Telstra bigpond employees?? wtf? hahaha Laughing Laughing Laughing

Its soo true!!

Razz

Matt
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katsuchiyo
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December 2002
   
Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 00:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_brake.gif
-- If your car will not oversteer, you may lik to yank this while driving.

OR...
for those conservative ones.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_brake.gif
Pulling this while your car is moving will damage you tyres.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_rad_bomb.gif
These items do NOT qualify as NOS.

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_towns.gif
These are the local Team Gather points, go here if you want to put your rice rocket up against theirs.

Very Happy

[Updated on: Thu, 06 March 2003 00:55]

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gianttomato
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 01:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_rad_time3.gifhttp://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_bldg2.gif
Irradiate groin for exactly 5 minutes and 12 seconds. Strut confidently to the nearest brothel knowing you have the largest red arrow on the block.


http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_medic2.gif
Should terror strike, amuse yourselves by playing "doctors and nurses'.

[Updated on: Thu, 06 March 2003 01:12]

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katsuchiyo
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 01:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_high_exit3.gif
In case of your house/workplace being attacked, run to the nearest exit towards your car with a workmate as quickly as you can...
http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_closed_door.gif
slapping anyone who is blocking the exit with your "bond chop".
Once you are outside...
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_radio2.gif
Listen to the latest reports as to wether your building will explode or if there are terrorists in the area, then start your car and drive like buggery.
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_road.gif
stop just outside the blast radius and think about how you could have saved more of your workmates if you hadn't taken your back seats out to put a 4 point harness in.

OR

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_rad_distance.gif
if you should be inside the blast radius, expect your car to be damaged/destroyed..

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_cover_nose.gif
at this point in time it is ok to cry.
http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_dont_run.gif
Just remember, if you are on fire, try to compose yourself and put yourself out quickly, to save face.

Very Happy

Sorry.. had a storyboard in my head Smile

[Updated on: Thu, 06 March 2003 02:31]

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gianttomato
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 03:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_fire_exit3.gif
Solution to last week's maze puzzle.
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THE WITZL
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 05:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_lab.gif
Simply adding to your fuel tank will NOT give 200kW gains

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_substance.gif
Use Brut. It gives you funky 80's pants

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_tap.gif
Neon lights are cool, even in emergencies

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_shelter.gif
When someone farts in an office, run like buggery

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_wash.gif
Water does not remove birth defects from Tasmanians

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_high_stay.gif
Local Rice Boys are tough. When you hear them coming, run and hide or they will kick your arse
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gianttomato
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 06:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_table2.gif
Subwoofers can cause buildings to collapse. Avert danger by sheltering under a desk, and seek comfort by fellating yourself.
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Apollo
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 12:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_table2.gif

Give yourself a blowjob while contemplating why gravity has to be told which direction to travel.

OR

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_table2.gif

Duck and cover under the desk and suck yourself off like a good filthy bigpond employee while Ziggy empties his wallet upstairs.
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7mgte83
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Barossa valley SA
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January 2003
Re: Be alert but not alarmed Thu, 06 March 2003 13:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Laughing Stop! Laughing stop! Laughing Please! for the love of God stop! Laughing My stomach it hurts so bad! Laughing
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THE WITZL
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 03:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
heehee.. im still giggling.... TWO DAYS LATER!!! Laughing
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gianttomato
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I supported Toymods

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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 04:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_choke2.gif
Smoking too much 'wacky tabacky' will send you into a shame spiral.
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Apollo
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 05:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_dust2.gif

Try to avoid eating the super chilli bean special at tacho bell before having the roof fall on you.
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SPEEDCORE
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 06:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Haha.... he can some1 please tell me how do you pop the picture and write the caption?? I have a few I want to make my own caption for and show you guys!
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Apollo
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 06:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SPEEDCORE wrote on Fri, 07 March 2003 16:04

Haha.... he can some1 please tell me how do you pop the picture and write the caption?? I have a few I want to make my own caption for and show you guys!


Just hit the quote button to see.

You'll need the img tags, with the [ ] around them.

Go to the www.ready.gov site to find the pictures you want to display.

Just right click a picture->properties, then copy it's address and paste it between the img tags.
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gianttomato
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 06:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_brake.gif
If you are a ricer witha Momo gearknob, DO NOT race. Simply apply handbrake as shown.
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ed_ma61
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 08:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_resp3.gif
Eating those 'magic beans' that guy sold you in the club last night might make your belly and chest feel funny.


http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_cover2.gif
Learn to do your own washing when away from home
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SPEEDCORE
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 08:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Thanks Apollo,

Ok here it is,
WEEK IN THE LIFE OF SPEEDCORE... I MEAN A RAVER Rolling Eyes

Some of these only ravers will understand, sorry if it doesn't make sense or not seem funny....


http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_resp3.gif

Agents on the respiratory system will inadvertantly have an effect on the digestive system,
ie. SMOKING WEED WILL GIVE YOU THE MUNCHIES!

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_towns3.gif

While doing drugs, it may be wise to know where your nearest hospital is, and always be prepared...
carry your MEDICARE card at ALL times!!

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_media2.gif

REMEMBER: Cash Coverters and PAWN Brokers alike get offered shit like this by HEROIN users, not MDMA users!!

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_substance2.gif

CHROMING is best done with SILVER or CHROME paints!

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_wash2.gif

When you finish making your last batch of METHAMPHETAMINES, wash your hands well, and call all your buyers saying the usuall BS,
"This is the BEST SHIT that has been AROUND in a while!"
or if it is PILLZ
"Yeah bro.... these are IMPORTS man!"

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_clocks2.gif

TV, Stereo and the internet are invaluable assests to have when waiting for your freshly made ROCKS to dry.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_lab2.gif

Always remember the real reason for taking,
CHEMISTRY in HIGH SKOOL.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_choke2.gif

You are not CHOKING, you are not falling into a vortex, you are not seeing colours flying through the sky.... next time take 5000mics less of LSD, silly rabbit!

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_exit2.gif

REAL raves don't have fire exits like this!!

[Updated on: Fri, 07 March 2003 09:02]

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gianttomato
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 09:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SPEEDCORE wrote on Fri, 07 March 2003 19:40


http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_choke2.gif

You are not CHOKING, you are not falling into a vortex, you are not seeing colours flying through the sky.... next time take 5000mics less of LSD, silly rabbit!




I was actually trying to work out how to do an acid trip for that one!
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SPEEDCORE
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 09:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_bldg2.gif

Never return home while still under the effects of MDMA, hugging your parents for the first time in 12 years will be a cause for extreme concern for your parents!

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_affected2.gif

Pupils so dialated such as the ones above, are a sure sign your ROLLIN' BALLZ. However birth marks do not wash off!

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_medic2.gif

Having a massage by the DANCESAFE team while BLOWIN' UP is one of the most fun things I...... YOU will ever have!

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_elevator2.gif
Old clapped out warehouses do not have elevators!!

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_kit2.gif

DOCTOR in tha HOUSE!! Who want's PARTY PRESCRIPTIONS??

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_cover_nose2.gif
http://www.ready.gov/i/ca_left.gif

Lather VICKS VAPOURRUB on the inside of your gas mask will make you forget about your profuse sweating.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_tap2.gif

Glowwies are heaps of PHUN for twisting your fucking mind when you are visually halucinating off MDMA. If the derelict warehouse comes crashing down due to the 30,000+ watt sound system you bought with DIRTY MONEY,
DO NOT PANIC,
You can still appear to be dancing... just with your hands!

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_shout2.gif

If you are a KANDY KID you must always brandish a whistle.
If you run out of drugs at a rave, just yell out,
"I want PILLZ"
Or if you are at an ULTRA SONIC event yell out "WE WANT ONE MORE"
If you BLACK and STONED off your NUT,
the whistle goes WOOOOO WOOOOOO!!

http://www.ready.gov/i/sni_left.gif

POPPIN' prescription pills is a NO NO!! Unless your finding it hard to comedown, then 5-15mg of Diazepam may just do the trick!

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SPEEDCORE
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Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 09:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_high_windows2.gif

After your 12th day straight of not sleeping due to an Amphetamine binge, you may show signs of speed induced psychosis.... DO NOT PANIC..... everyone REALLY is out to get you and you may even empty a whole clip from your Glock 17 into a tree thinking ASIO agents are in the tree!

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_high_stay2.gif
Paranoia is also bound to set in and the Hoover stabs from your latest NU NRG CD begin to sound like police sirens, then you have two options.. curl up like a lil bitch and sob or get the fuck outta your house and jump those 50 fences through adjoining backyards to get away!

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_open_door2.gif

Dance moves like this will have you banished from the dancefloor and thrown out by the KANDY KIDZ!

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_drop_roll2.gif

LSD will turn your average citizen into.... thinking he is a DOG.... and then into a giggling LUNATIC rolling on the floor!

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_burning_bldg2.gif

If the cops are about to raid your house.... burn the lab down and make your escape!!

PEACE OUT,
SPEEDCORE!!


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Toobs
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I Supported Toymods

Location:
Sydney
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December 2002
 
Re: Be alert but not alarmed Fri, 07 March 2003 13:29 Go to previous message
http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_bridge2.gif

Riceboys should avoid leaving market city via Glebe island bridge.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_road2.gif

Parramatta Rd is a more ricer friendly option, just avoid the potholes!

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_brake.gif

Latest ricer option... Twin handbrakes... now you too can steer with nothing more than your handbrake

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_substance.gif

Start you bastard is an excellent alternative to NO2

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_hot_door2.gif

However please ensure that your manifold can handle it!
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