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Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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PLACE YOUR FIRST POST HERE
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Wed, 15 May 2002 14:18
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just do as the title says!...
 
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Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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shopping
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Wed, 15 May 2002 15:13
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A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?" "Yes" he replies. "Well where is the dog?" asks the cashier. "My dog is at home" replies the man. "To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy", says the cashier. So with that the man leaves the dog food and leaves the store.
Next day the man goes back to the same store, grabs what he needs and goes to the same cashier. He places two cans of cat food on the counter. "Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier. "Yes I do", replies the man. "Well where is your cat sir?" asks the cashier. "My cat is at home" says the man. "Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food" says the cashier. So with that the man leaves the store empty handed again.
The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. "Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here." So the cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. "It is all soft and warm" she says. "Yes, that is right" says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
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Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Lecture on Supernatural
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Wed, 15 May 2002 15:22
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A professor at W.Virginia University is giving a lecture on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start. Out of those of
you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About
40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take
this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their
hands. "That's a great response."
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "That's
fantastic."
"But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a
ghost?" One student in a flannel shirt and baseball cap way in the back raises
his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step
back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has
ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us
about your experience."
The redneck student complies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way
up to the podium.
The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."
The student replies, "Ghost?!? Sheeyit..... From back there it sounded like you
said 'goats'".
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Location:
Carlingford, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: PLACE YOUR FIRST POST HERE
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Thu, 16 May 2002 00:12
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ok
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I supported Toymods
Location:
South of Wollongong
Registered:
May 2002
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 Re: PLACE YOUR FIRST POST HERE
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Thu, 16 May 2002 01:56
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CHOICE AYE GURL!
For bist efict, rid these out aloud!!!]
Milburn - capital of Victoria
Peck - to fill a suitcase
Pissed aside - chemical which kills insects
Pigs - for hanging out washing with
Pump - to act as agent for prostitute
Pug - large animal with a curly tail
Nin tin dough - computer game
Munner stroney - soup
Min - male of the species
Mess Kara - eye makeup
McKennock - person who fixes cars
Mere - Mayor
Leather - foam produced from soap
Lift - departed
Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman
Kittle crusps - potato chips
Ken's - Cairns
Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim
Jungle Bills - Christmas carol
Inner me - enemy
Guess - vapour
Fush - marine creatures
Fitter cheney - type of pasta
Ever cardeau - avocado
Fear hear - blonde
Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen
Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym
Duffy cult - not easy
Amejen - visualise
Day old chuck - very young poultry
Bug hut - popular recording
Bun button - been bitten by insect
Beard - a place to sleep
Chully Bun - Esky
Sucks Peck - Half a dozen beers
Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline
Beers - large savage animals found in U.S. forests
Veerjun - mythical New Zealand maiden
One Doze - well known computer program
Brudge - structure spanning a stream
Sex - one less than sivven
Tin - one more than nine
Iggs Ecktly - Precisely
Earplane - large flying machine
Beggage Chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport
Sivven Sucks Sivven - large Boeing aircraft
Sivven Four Sivven - larger Boeing aircraft
Cuds - children
Pits - domestic animals
Cuttin - baby cat
Munce - usually served on toast
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I supported Toymods
Location:
South of Wollongong
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: PLACE YOUR FIRST POST HERE
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Thu, 16 May 2002 01:58
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AHHAHAHAA, kiwis are classics!
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Formerly TRD_RoLLa
Registered:
May 2002
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 Shampoo???
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Thu, 16 May 2002 15:38
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A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
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Location:
sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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The Chicken and the Horse
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Fri, 17 May 2002 09:59
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A chicken and a horse were in a field together;
the horse fell into a mud hole and couldn't get
out. He called out to the chicken and said
'help, help go and get the farmer I can't get
out and I'm sinking in further.
The chicken runs up to the farm house and tries
to get the farmer but he isn't around. Being a
quick thinking chick, she ran and got the
farmer's Mercedes and drove it to the mud hole.
She then tied a rope to the tow hook and threw
it to the horse and she pulled him out with the
Mercedes.
The horse was very grateful !
A week or so later the chicken fell into the
very same mud hole.
She called out to the horse and he came running
she said 'Help! Go and get the farmer. I can't get out'. The horse then straddled over the mud
hole and told the chick to hang on to the
'thingy' between his legs. She did and he
managed to pull her out.
The morale of the story . . . .
You don't need a Mercedes to pick up a chick . .
. . you just need to be hung like horse !!
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Formerly TRD_RoLLa
Registered:
May 2002
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Gender interpretation.
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Fri, 17 May 2002 13:24
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1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female......Any part under a car’s hood.
Male........The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male........Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve..
Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
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