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Location:
Brisvegas
Registered:
June 2003
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 boredom post
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Fri, 14 November 2003 06:22
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something
smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told
me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the
required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog,
of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's
sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think
they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then
God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since
then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
November 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Fri, 14 November 2003 06:30
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What do you do when a woman leaves the kitchen
Shorten her chain
Did you hear about the woman that got run over by a truck the other day?
Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 00:38
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heeh i love jokes like this 
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Location:
melbourne
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 01:05
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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing - you've already told her twice.
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 06:36
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You guys are horrible talking about women like that.  You should treasure a woman. Help her with the chores and treat her with respect.
PS: For any fine fillies out there reading this, I am single.  
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Location:
melbourne
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 07:20
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its a JOKE for christ sake, its not like we actually beat womnne or have the mindset that they belong in the kitchen - have a sense of humour.
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 07:24
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Why don't YOU have a sense of humour and understand MY joke... It was supposed to be a shameless attempt to attract the womenfolk of ToyMods!!! But, obviously it was wasted. 
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Location:
melbourne
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 07:27
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yeah, i thought you were serious, like one of those new-age-sensitive-metreosexual-david-beckham guys that was all for womens rights.
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Location:
Wahroonga
Registered:
June 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 12:05
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once again toymods provides me with a laugh, wd
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Sat, 15 November 2003 13:07
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how could u NOT see the sarcasm in SIMDOG's post
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sun, 16 November 2003 01:27
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If I were serious, I'd have to kick my own arse! 
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Location:
Ballarat, Victoria
Registered:
March 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sun, 16 November 2003 06:29
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hahah i love those kinda jokes, i always tell them to my friends, and watch them get fired up and belt me, but thats okay, im usually drunk so i dont mind 
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
June 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 17 November 2003 01:07
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LOL!!
Why dont you chain a women to the sink?
Because then she cannot get to the laundry.
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Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 17 November 2003 05:06
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| SIMDOG wrote on Sat, 15 November 2003 18:24 |
Why don't YOU have a sense of humour and understand MY joke... It was supposed to be a shameless attempt to attract the womenfolk of ToyMods!!! But, obviously it was wasted.
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awwww...i got your joke...it wasnt wasted!!!
 MEL
xo
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 17 November 2003 07:47
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Thanks Mel... what are you doing later?
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 17 November 2003 09:03
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LOL mel
i think your the only chick here on this forum..
pickin up over the net is just so lame...
peace
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Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sun, 23 November 2003 11:22
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im not picking up im being nice!!!!!!!
i had a boyfriend when i posted that silly!
Yeah im one of few chicks...i prolly the only 1 who really posts shit...im trying to learn thats all, i dont know much when it comes to the mechanical workings of car!!!
MEL
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Sun, 23 November 2003 12:41
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dammit
beat me to it
I picked up on the "had" as well.
must be a single guy thing 
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Location:
Turramurra, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Sun, 23 November 2003 15:33
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hahaha to the had bit aswell as the jokes.
Great work, love it
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 04:52
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Its a mans obligation,
to stick his boneration,
in a womans separation.
this sort of penetration,
will increase the population,
of the younger generation.
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 05:30
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Still in primary school are we? 
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 05:32
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last i checked...yes
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 05:36
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Don't double smilie me... Cop this!
Owwww! RSI 
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 05:42
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now whose back in primary school?
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 05:44
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I knew that comment was coming.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 05:47
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| Quote: |
I knew that comment was coming.
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hahaha
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Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 10:18
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the hours of free entertainment and advice you get from these forums...i love it!
MEL
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Mon, 24 November 2003 11:46
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Hey! I found my first girl on the net... but I suppose I didn't have a life then so yeah, perhaps it is a bit sad...
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 05:07
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What Happens When Engineers Think Too Much About Christmas -
1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has seen.
2. There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Jewish children, that reduces the work load to 15% of the total - 378 million or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with thanks to time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get back up the a chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75 1/2 million miles, not counting bathroom stops. This means that Santa's sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.
4. The sleighs payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons not counting Santa, who is inexorably described as overweight. On land, confessional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the job with 8 or even 9, we need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight, not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.
5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.2 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of reindeer, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of gravity. A 300 pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
6. Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now.
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 07:58
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hey Shraka so tell us wat happened
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 07:59
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I think he means mel, our resident girl (sorry, there are 3 others out there, ra23celicachick, HSV_gal, and teenz)
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Location:
Bayside Melbourne.
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 08:14
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There's one called teenz? I have seen posts by the others but not Teenz. One post wonder? 
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 08:15
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doesn't know the first lady of toymods? (the double meaning of that should give you a clue as to who she is )
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 08:16
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33 Tina Try (Teenz) 3SFE ST162 Celica Cabriolet
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 08:24
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Ahh. No I mean my first two girlfriends where from the internet. My third was a friend of someone I met on the internet, then in real life, and my current girlfriend is the ex girlfriend of a friend of a friend. And he met her on the internet. So if not for the net, I would not have had any of the girlfriend I have had.
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 08:24
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chiks n toyotaz like a match made in heaven, add sum beer and ur sitting next to tha man himself
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 08:25
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nerd
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 08:28
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sounds complicated Shraka, do u have a detailed plan of the connections
heres an example
i met lindsey thru mary, mars goes under chik2nv on mirc, lindsey i met on 961 chat, and sarah, wel i dont know wher i met her from, i think a random email from a guys cousin i know, ralphy, yeh hes second aunts sisters boyfreinds cousin thrice removed has a uncle in Padawanga who sent her email to me, well no luck in that, happens all the time, speakin of emilia now....
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Registered:
May 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Tue, 25 November 2003 23:50
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| DrExTc wrote on Tue, 25 November 2003 19:24 |
chiks n toyotaz like a match made in heaven, add sum beer and ur sitting next to tha man himself
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I will agree....cars + chicks + Booze =
My 2 cents...
MEL
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Location:
www.geocities.com/drextacy
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Thu, 27 November 2003 21:26
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ur 50 centz
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Location:
Brisbane, QLD
Registered:
February 2003
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Re: boredom post
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Thu, 27 November 2003 22:06
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didnt know people actually picked up on the net
if it works it works i spose
anyways
*puts on his blue "wife beater" singlet*
i love that "what do you tell a woman with two black eyes" joke
funny
in a non serious way
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