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Location:
Perth
Registered:
August 2003
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funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Fri, 26 March 2004 22:44
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my favourite at the moment
austin powers in goldmember when he's hanging on the ladder with dr evil above him with his pants ripped
Austin: "I always thought you were crazy but now i can see your nuts, athankyou"  
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Location:
East Doncaster, Melbourne
Registered:
February 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sat, 27 March 2004 02:06
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JAPAN FOUR!!!!!!!!!
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Location:
Ballarat, Vic.
Registered:
September 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sat, 27 March 2004 03:30
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booting down a hill coming up to a 90deg left hander
"NO BRAKEEEEEEEEEES". stupid brake fade.
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 09:49
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All your base are belong to us.
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Toymods Social Secretary
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 10:26
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Tom Green - "You can put the cheese up your bum!"
Toobs on trying to work a DVD player - "Menu.... sound.... GIMME SOUND!"
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 11:50
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Q: What do you call a good looking Lebanese bloke?
A: AS IF
This one tickled my fancy.
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 12:20
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"my eyes, these goggles - they do nothing!"
"are you talking to me? i don't see anyone else here......" (rock n bullwinkle version - Funny)
"der..I'm an apple"
All my mates: "Brodder's mum is hot" or "luke's mum is hot"
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I supported Toymods
On probation
Location:
Brisbane, Queensland
Registered:
January 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 12:21
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homer talking about some dead aunt - "legend of the dog faced woman..."
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I supported Toymods
On probation
Location:
Brisbane, Queensland
Registered:
January 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 12:23
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Just then on the comedy gala - "did you say two banannas and a chip packet?" 
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I supported Toymods
Banned User
Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 12:26
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Brain the size of the planet, and they want me to open the door!
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I supported Toymods
Location:
fairfield NSW
Registered:
January 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sun, 28 March 2004 14:07
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chief wiggum: SCUM FREEZBAGS!!! i mean FREEZE SCUM BAGS
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Location:
Yagoona Sydney
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 01:14
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the simpsons - ralph wiggum - "hello super nintendo charmers"
my brother after being made fun of by his friends "its a fat mans world"
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Location:
Northwestern Sydney
Registered:
August 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 01:16
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"I'm busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking competition"
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Location:
c'town, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 02:13
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Homer: Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville......... population....you!
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 04:01
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(actual - in Sublime at Home)
Pickup Line - "Would you like to come and sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that pops up?"
Response - "Sorry, I'm not interested in small talk"
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Toymods Social Secretary
Location:
Sydney
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 04:59
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I bent my wookie
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Location:
Adelaide, SA
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 05:12
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I treat objects like women!
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Location:
NSW
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 05:38
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Got a few:
1. Bought a Sharp stereo, cut my self trying to put the volume up.
2. Girlfriend told me to come over to her house cause there was no one there, when I got there she was right, there was no one there.
3. What toilet did you pop out of.
4. Your a sperm that should've been swollowed.
5. Your dad is so bald, I can see what he's thinking.
6. Your breath is so bad, people look forward to your farts.
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Location:
Gawler, SA
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 06:20
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If I wanted to talk to an asshole, I would have farted.
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Location:
Adelaide, SA
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 29 March 2004 06:22
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Honey, if you went off with another man I'd shoot his dog and break his white stick....
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Location:
Yagoona Sydney
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 30 March 2004 03:11
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this one may not be funny but its damn true Its from SCARFACE with al pacino:
"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman." (tonny to manny)
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
January 2004
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 30 March 2004 13:03
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I'm more excited than a blind lesbian at a fish-market.
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Location:
Parramatta
Registered:
July 2002
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Registered:
October 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 06:45
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"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day; set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 06:54
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give a woman some make up:
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Location:
Behind you
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 08:15
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SHUT UP JUDGE
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Location:
Posts: 992738234
Registered:
February 2004
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 09:01
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errrr robbie, thats not the handbrake 
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Location:
Balranald
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 10:04
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I'm a primary school teacher and I got 2 good ones today alone by the same kid.
The task was to select 3 things from each box of things (10 in each) of different things like 10 plants...10 people....10 types of food etc to take to a new planet. They had to work out the most important things.
Well one person, a boy in year 4, chose a model. When I asked him why he said simply "for entertainmet" Was a classic moment.
A little bit later in the day we were going through what everyone wanted to be in the future. Had a few nurses...firemen etc.....he wanted to open a strip club in town becasue there isn't one and it would make lots of money with single men. What a legend...and he is only 9 years old!!
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Perth, Western Australia
Registered:
December 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 11:45
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Who said primary school lacked male roll models?!
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I supported Toymods
Location:
fairfield NSW
Registered:
January 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 14:07
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| Backspace wrote on Wed, 31 March 2004 18:15 |
SHUT UP JUDGE
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that was on the simpsons tonite? homer screaming at the judge right? lol
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Location:
Sydney/Wollongong
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Wed, 31 March 2004 15:08
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And fronts wheelspins betta, and EVERYONE knows dat only powerful cars wheelspin when turning out of junctions on full lock at five miles an hour
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 02:43
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'This employee would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.'
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 03:41
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"but, I'm a fucking Daemon." - Azreal, Dogma.
"It said press 'esc' to exit, But I'm pressed, 'E', 'S', 'C', and nothing happend, so I just pressed the power button"
- My mum trying to exit a typing program about 4 years ago. My dad is the I.T manager of the Australian faction of a large multinational company. And my mum hardly knows how to turn a computer off.
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Location:
Adelaide, SA
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 05:12
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Hey, I represent that remark!
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Location:
Yagoona Sydney
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 05:55
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Cool1: "Your only ghey if you take it"
I read this on another post and damn it made my day
Thumbs up dudes, keep up the good work
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 05:57
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Homer ESPing to Bart in court room:
"I know you can hear what i'm saying boy, miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow"
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Location:
Adelaide, SA
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 07:02
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In addition to the "only gay if you take it" are the classics,
"You're not a man till you've had one"
and
"You're only gay if you push back"!!!
Not that there's anything wrong with that
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Registered:
December 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 13:20
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On telling my granma i had a virus on my computer her reply was
"You had better keep away from it, or you might get sick and get a virus too!"
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Sunshine Coast
Registered:
March 2004
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 14:11
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'i eat peices of shit like you for breakfast!'..'u eat peices of shit for breakfast?'..'NO!'
'go happy the golden jackets your shooters gonna choke!'
'please poop'
'unleash the fury mitch!! unlease the fury!!'
'hey tuttle''what!''your mother is deaf' ' my mother is dead you little twerp' ' i guess thats why she didnt move around alot'
lol theres so many
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Location:
Finland
Registered:
November 2002
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I supported Toymods
Location:
fairfield NSW
Registered:
January 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 17:16
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wtf!!!
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
August 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Thu, 01 April 2004 17:35
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err i dont have red hair, it's strawberry blond
my friend always says it
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Fri, 02 April 2004 06:59
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"what the fcuk?, I washed my hands with the same soap and when I wiped my hands the towel didn't look like no god-damn maxi pad."
"if you give that crazy bitch fi-teen hundred dollas I'm gonna shoot you on principal."
"What" ain't no country I know! Do they speak English in "What?"
"English-motherfucker-can-you-speak-it? "
the whole movie is one quality line.
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Location:
Brisbane / Gold Coast
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Fri, 02 April 2004 15:07
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The ever-famous line from Ralph Wiggins, from The Simpsons, "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
My real fave is from Winston Churchill. He was shitfaced when leaving a prty one night, and when passing by some famous bloke's wife she said to him, "Mister Churchill, you are drunk!"
To which he replied wtihout a pause, "And madam you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning."
Classic.
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Location:
Yagoona Sydney
Registered:
December 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Sat, 03 April 2004 05:05
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I just watched the simpsons (homer finds a shit load of sugar) in where he stands by his sugar and says in a scarface type accent "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the suger."
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Registered:
October 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 05 April 2004 01:21
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"Remember -- that which does not kill us can only make us stronger.. And that which does kill us leaves us dead!"
| coronamark2 wrote on Wed, 31 March 2004 16:54 |
give a woman some make up:
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dude, that's a man, not a woman.
pretty ain't he??
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 05 April 2004 01:30
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no he looks like a faggot gothic marilon manson wannabe
ohh and he look like a chick bloody hippes
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Registered:
October 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 05 April 2004 01:57
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Presumably there, you mean "Marilyn" and "Hippies."
There's no real need for me to defend my avatar to the likes of you.
Couple of things to heed though:
1)Black metal makes your precious Acca Dacca sound like Wham.
2) That guy is in jail for fag bashin corona owners.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Australia
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 05 April 2004 13:32
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| Bill Sherwood wrote on Fri, 02 April 2004 23:07 |
My real fave is from Winston Churchill. He was shitfaced when leaving a prty one night, and when passing by some famous bloke's wife she said to him, "Mister Churchill, you are drunk!"
To which he replied wtihout a pause, "And madam you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning."
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Hahaha BAMMM, take that bitch...
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Location:
Newcastle
Registered:
June 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Mon, 05 April 2004 17:39
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Wesley Snipes to this Old Guy in 'New Jack City'
'Sit you're five dollar ass down before I make change'
Ive always loved that one
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 01:42
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| griminir wrote on Mon, 05 April 2004 09:57 |
Presumably there, you mean "Marilyn" and "Hippies."
There's no real need for me to defend my avatar to the likes of you.
Couple of things to heed though:
1)Black metal makes your precious Acca Dacca sound like Wham.
2) That guy is in jail for fag bashin corona owners.
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ok avril
black metal nice how many time have you painted your finger nails black, let me guess you like slayer "angel of death"
dont make me start a poll on which is better you know AC/DC will win.
if he's in jail he'll be 30 fat blokes bitch i bet he walks with a very wide step
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Location:
c'town, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 03:44
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forget about it griminir, hes not worth a reply
just find solace in the fact that coronamark2 will never ever get a clue.
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I supported Toymods
Location:
I renounced punctuation
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 04:09
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Some of my favorite quotes are those directly from the typewriter of coronamark2.
That said, I try not to use them.
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Location:
Ballarat, Victoria
Registered:
March 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 04:12
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| coronamark2 wrote on Tue, 06 April 2004 11:42 |
| griminir wrote on Mon, 05 April 2004 09:57 |
Presumably there, you mean "Marilyn" and "Hippies."
There's no real need for me to defend my avatar to the likes of you.
Couple of things to heed though:
1)Black metal makes your precious Acca Dacca sound like Wham.
2) That guy is in jail for fag bashin corona owners.
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ok avril
black metal nice how many time have you painted your finger nails black, let me guess you like slayer "angel of death"
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dude slayer aint black metal 
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 04:49
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touchy touchy
i forgot you cant mess with the goth's they've got connections man
lighten up dudes
and rob
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Location:
c'town, NSW
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 05:02
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| rob_RA40 wrote on Tue, 06 April 2004 13:44 |
just find solace in the fact that coronamark2 will never ever get a clue.
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hey guys isnt it great when he proves your point for you, it saves even bothering.
well done champ, well done, we can close the book on this case.
Clickety Click --> [ignore posts by this user]
goodbye darling
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Location:
Ballarat, Victoria
Registered:
March 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 05:05
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| coronamark2 wrote on Tue, 06 April 2004 14:49 |
touchy touchy
i forgot you cant mess with the goth's they've got connections man
lighten up dudes
and rob
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dude i was only kidding
fret not brother, for i do love thee  
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 05:06
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pull that stick out of your arse and get a sense of humor FFS
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Location:
Ballarat, Victoria
Registered:
March 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 05:10
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c o r o n a m a r k I I !
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Location:
Perth
Registered:
May 2003
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Re: funniest one liners your've heard. tv or in life etc.
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Tue, 06 April 2004 05:15
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| Evil_Foetus wrote on Tue, 06 April 2004 13:05 |
| coronamark2 wrote on Tue, 06 April 2004 14:49 |
touchy touchy
i forgot you cant mess with the goth's they've got connections man
lighten up dudes
and rob
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dude i was only kidding
fret not brother, for i do love thee
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it wasnt aimed at you dude you OBVIOUSLY have a sense of humor unlike someother people my mate loves his slayer and that was the only heavy metal band i could think of at the time
id say i love you to but people might start talking
but i will show this
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