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I supported Toymods
Location:
Perth, Western Australia
Registered:
December 2002
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Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 02:42
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Sent to me in an email last week - pure gold!!!!
"I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do" FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around
with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her butt."
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Location:
Lost in the K hole
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 02:50
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THAT has put the BIGGEST grin on my face clint...
im stuck in a residence with a bunch of whining women at the moment, fuck they piss me off with their 'men' statements.
that is gold, pure GOLD
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I supported Toymods
Location:
I renounced punctuation
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 02:52
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Golden.
Copied and sent to my wife. No doubt I'll be put on the sonk drought. 
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Location:
Lost in the K hole
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 02:57
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| gianttomato wrote on Mon, 31 May 2004 12:52 |
Golden.
Copied and sent to my wife. No doubt I'll be put on the sonk drought.
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printed x5 and slid under the doors of 5 certain cretin women
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Location:
Canberra
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 03:31
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| ed_ma61 wrote on Mon, 31 May 2004 12:50 |
GOLD
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 03:40
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An oldie but a goodie.
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Location:
Brisbane, QLD
Registered:
February 2003
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 10:01
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| ed_ma61 wrote on Mon, 31 May 2004 12:57 |
| gianttomato wrote on Mon, 31 May 2004 12:52 |
Golden.
Copied and sent to my wife. No doubt I'll be put on the sonk drought.
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printed x5 and slid under the doors of 5 certain cretin women
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lol
i forwarded this to a few certain cretin women too...i've several contracts out on my life now :/
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Epping, Sydney
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 10:33
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absolutely perfect
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I supported Toymods
Location:
Perth, Western Australia
Registered:
December 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 13:54
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Thought you'd like this Greg, given your previous comments?!!!
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Location:
Sydney
Registered:
May 2004
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Mon, 31 May 2004 13:56
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ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
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Location:
central coast, NSW
Registered:
April 2004
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Location:
Melbourne
Registered:
November 2003
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Tue, 01 June 2004 02:20
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| missrolla wrote on Tue, 01 June 2004 11:59 |
GOLD
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Location:
On your mum!
Registered:
May 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Tue, 01 June 2004 07:39
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It is gold.
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Location:
adelaide
Registered:
April 2003
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Tue, 01 June 2004 08:40
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brilliant, but unfortunately too true
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Location:
Brisbane
Registered:
July 2002
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Wed, 02 June 2004 00:50
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i love it
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Location:
central coast, NSW
Registered:
April 2004
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Re: Mars Versus Venus
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Wed, 02 June 2004 05:32
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Damm.... so much for going shopping this weekend 
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