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cytribe
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June 2003
icon10.gif  Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 04:08 Go to next message
Here are a few favourites I've had hurled at me and a few I've seen hurled at other people through my life:

"Your mothers like a bowling ball, you stick 3 fingers in her, throw her in the gutter and she keeps coming back for more!"

"You're the load your mother should have swallowed!"

"Wanna play hide and go fuck yourself? I'll hide, you know what to do!"

"If you sucked any harder the roof of your mouth would cave in"

"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny"

(this one was hurled at me by a country boy kicked out for groping girls)
"The last bit of action you saw was licking your mum on the way out"
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magicmitch
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 04:29 Go to previous messageGo to next message
u say this to a chick...
"your the ugliest looking bloke ive ever seen"
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warrior
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 04:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
this one cracks me up

"your a fuck wasted...should have been blown all over the sheets"
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Benjamin
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 05:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
for when you get BAC tested
"I haven't had a cunt in ages drinkstable"
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cytribe
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 05:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
For the cops:
"I swear the car was upside down when I got here"
"I've never been so driven I couldn't drunk"
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am"
"This is a test right, which one of those two breathalizers am I ment to blow in?"
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cytribe
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Perth
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June 2003
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 05:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Alternatively at a booze bus, just casually get out of your car and walk into someones lawn:
"This is my house officer I'll just park here"
*old lady runs out and starts abusing you*
"Oh ho ho, mums in her cups again, get back inside mum"
*old lady runs inside gets man with a baseball bat*
"Dad! I swear I'll ask before I borrow the car again!"
*run into the house ducking man.......*
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river
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 10:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hi,

"Your dad should of blown over a hot-plate. At least you would of only stunk once"

"Now I know why some mothers eat their young"

"I bet your family tree is a cactus 'cos it's full of pricks"

There's more but I can't remember them. I'll ty and make a note the next time I'm abused.

seeyuzz
river
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MFX_Neko_86
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 12:29 Go to previous messageGo to next message
id rather have sex with a cheese grater than "insert whatever yo dont wanna do here"
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dimmy77_03
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Potts Point, Sydney
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October 2003
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 19:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
i love using this http://www.insultmonger.com/generators/

You can't even figure out which gender you are, you moronic androgynous specimen. Celibate, eh? You mean in the closet, right? Or maybe you're a homosexual midget: in which case, you're in the cupboard! You're damn right about being vomit-inducing fugly. You have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. How much would you change to haunt a house? You're a politically vacillating phony liberal fuck; too damn broadminded to take your own side in a debate. Calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. Did your mother leave you in the dryer too long when you were a kid, you little tap-dancing Leprechaun in a pink wig? Be careful you don't bump your head on the door handle on the way out. You scrawny-assed, anorexic African famine victim; if you had dreads, I'd grab you by your ankles and use you to mop the floor. Do you get a clearer idea of how pathetic you are, you minimum wage earning human equivalent of a bidet? I love that suit you're wearing. You never throw anything away, do you? I'm not really good with fools, but a friend who is wrote something down for me; Oh, yeah, "Fuck off." May you live a long life and be the butt of many jokes to come.
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olihaub
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July 2004
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 08 December 2004 21:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
this is wot i got
You're worth less than the juice squeezed from an old whore's soiled Tampon. Do everyone misfortunate enough to know you a favor: smear your ass with monkey pheromones and go flirt with some horny apes, you unintelligible poppycock-peddler. hehehehe
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NickAE86
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Brisvegas
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June 2003
 
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 06:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
"your mum is so retarded she threw a rock at the ground and missed"

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river
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Land of Oz
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June 2004
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 07:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hi,

Try shouting this at an AE86 driver "Nice Nissan, mate" or "Wow, cool looking Honda!"

seeyuzz
river
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toof
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 09:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
you are so dense, light bends round you ( one for the geeks!)
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fractoid
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 11:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
MFX_Neko_86 wrote on Wed, 08 December 2004 20:29

id rather have sex with a cheese grater than "insert whatever yo dont wanna do here"
That could soooo be misinterpretted... *where* exactly are you insert the thing that you don't wanna do? Wink

..I'm amazed that no-one's yet come forth with the classic "Your grandmother was a goat and your grandfather smelt of elderberries!"
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dimmy77_03
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 12:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
"I wouldnt fuck you with his dick" (point at a mate) Laughing
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justcallmefrank
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I supported Toymods

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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 12:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
river wrote on Thu, 09 December 2004 15:05

Hi,

Try shouting this at an AE86 driver "Nice Nissan, mate" or "Wow, cool looking Honda!"

That is GOLD, SO doing that!
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4DaDrift
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 13:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yo mummahz so big that the titannics her bath toy
yo mummaz so fucked up and butch she rapes herself and then reports it
you mummah, what else do i have to say ? seriosuly look at her bro like omfg whats with THAT ?
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joorsh
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 13:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
sometimes the simple ones are the best.

Like "Oxygen thief"
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rsdeo
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Burlington, On. Canada
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January 2004
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 14:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
One to piss the ladies off...

"Try rubbing toilet paper on your tits, it seems to be working for your ass."
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river
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 20:34 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hi,

Wasn't it "hamster", not goat?

seeyuzz
river
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dimmy77_03
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 09 December 2004 22:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joorsh wrote on Fri, 10 December 2004 00:57

sometimes the simple ones are the best.

Like "Oxygen thief"


Laughing Laughing i'll be using it today if it comes to that point, also the sprinter one Laughing
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skellator
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Coffs Harbour, NSW
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November 2004
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Fri, 10 December 2004 04:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Quote:

..I'm amazed that no-one's yet come forth with the classic "Your grandmother was a goat and your grandfather smelt of elderberries!"


no, no, no
"your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" Razz

edit: like river said

[Updated on: Fri, 10 December 2004 04:55]

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M.J.H
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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Fri, 10 December 2004 05:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
A couple of ones for the passengers when driving the cab.

"I never take the long way,most people are arseholes and i don't want them in the cab any longer than they have to be" Cool

Or when they want to go home for free or put 5+ people in a four seater."What part of no don't you understand,is it the N or the O" Laughing


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Gazza53
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Adelaide
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August 2004
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Fri, 10 December 2004 06:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
What part of fuck and off don't you understand!!

Do you like sex and travel?
Then fuck off!!
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MFX_Neko_86
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September 2004
 
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Sun, 12 December 2004 11:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
fractoid wrote on Thu, 09 December 2004 22:59

MFX_Neko_86 wrote on Wed, 08 December 2004 20:29

id rather have sex with a cheese grater than "insert whatever yo dont wanna do here"
That could soooo be misinterpretted... *where* exactly are you insert the thing that you don't wanna do? Wink

..I'm amazed that no-one's yet come forth with the classic "Your grandmother was a goat and your grandfather smelt of elderberries!"


Laughing Laughing Laughing
Didnt htink of it that way !!!

But you get what i meant...

Good one for a voicemail...

"Sorry, im hiding from someone, please leave your name and number and if i dont get back to you, guess what, its you.."
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Apollo
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Brisbane, QLD, Australia
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May 2002
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Sun, 12 December 2004 13:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
You fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
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86DRFT
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Rockhampton QLD
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July 2004
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 15 December 2004 14:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Just watch 'full metal jacket' theres some classics right there
from the drill sergent.

eg: "Looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mommas ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!"

"What is your major malfunction numbnut?! did your parents neglect you as a child?!"
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truenosedan
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May 2003
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 16 December 2004 02:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
you are the one who licks the balls
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justcallmefrank
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I supported Toymods

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Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 16 December 2004 02:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Apollo wrote on Sun, 12 December 2004 21:02

You fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
...and then hit the ugly ground Very Happy
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CLG
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I supported Toymods

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December 2002
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Tue, 21 December 2004 07:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
"Ankles, ..., three feet lower than a cunt"
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Mookie
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Location:
Tassie
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October 2003
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 22 December 2004 09:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
justcallmefrank wrote on Thu, 16 December 2004 13:35

Apollo wrote on Sun, 12 December 2004 21:02

You fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
...and then hit the ugly ground Very Happy


then bounced back up and hit em all again
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twincam_ke20
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Location:
Castlemaine Vic
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November 2002
 
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 22 December 2004 10:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
"hey dick lips, your a shit person" Very Happy
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ehendrikd
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Location:
ballarat
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April 2003
 
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Wed, 22 December 2004 23:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ugly as a hat full of assholes

ghey as a bag of butterflies

[Updated on: Wed, 22 December 2004 23:26]

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twincam_ke20
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Castlemaine Vic
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November 2002
 
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Thu, 23 December 2004 06:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
"she looks like a melted gumboot"

"iv seen better half eaten pototo-cakes then her"
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Racing
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Registered:
December 2004
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Fri, 24 December 2004 10:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
fuck you
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MFX_Neko_86
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Liverpool, Sydney
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September 2004
 
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Fri, 24 December 2004 11:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yea racing, id have to say thats one of my favorites.. an oldie but a goodie Laughing
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mk27m
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Location:
Adelaide
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November 2003
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Fri, 24 December 2004 12:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
"Someone's got a couple of kangaroo's loose in the 'ole top paddock"

Anyone like butterfingers?: "You're momma's on the top of my things to do list" Very Happy
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Arch
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Adelaide
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January 2004
 
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Fri, 24 December 2004 13:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
No your not getting a refund just coz your kids broke it, now get the fuck out. Mad
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tripmcneily
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Sydney, Peakhurst
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May 2004
tripmcneily
Re: Favourite insults...anyone? Sat, 25 December 2004 00:06 Go to previous message
I'n the words of Robert Deniro in Raging Bull...

"FUCK YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!"

[Updated on: Sat, 25 December 2004 00:06]

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