If you by a VL Commodore follow these tips:

Your VL is beast you need to learn how to control, here are some insiders tips.

1.Cut the springs full dont be shy! 11mm off ground, that's heaps!
2.fully sick interceptors with 2 mags on front wheels maaaayt!
3.shick subwoofa ( note: it's not loud unless the boot hinges are about to give way)
4.Get some fully fluffy assed dice from Uncle Charlie down at the Vic market,
he can hook you up with some real niiiice ones mayt!!
5.Install a custom built hair wax holder on the dash for those last minute touch ups before you turn off Chapel Street
6.Buy the lowest seat you can find so all people can see is your Kappa hat poking above the dash
7.fully shick stickers on the side door, showing the sponsors you couldn't afford ( Greddy, HKS etc etc )
8.put 144 on side window and state it does 11's
9.install a bottle of gold polish under the dash so you can quickly shine up those "chest-hair line indicators" before stepping out.
10.put a $30 turbo tip from Super-Cheap Auto on your exhaust so people think you can actually afford a real turbo
11.Slow all the way down to about 2 kph at least 20 feet prior to a speed hump, to ensure people understand your car is lower than it actually is, and seems like your chassis is detailed
12.Stare at people when you drive past as if you're about to fight them, then drive off with as much RPM as possible so they get "scared"
13.When you exit your car, look at the big scratch on the spoiler. You put your amp there when your arms got weak but pretend to forget that for a second, rub the scratch with ur thumb as if it would come off
14.When you rest your arm on the door, make sure you push outwards so your muscles look bigger.
15.Make sure you have a nice teenage girl in the passenger side who's "like, totally in love with you"
16.Never fix your neons, just constantly jiggle the wires until they go on.
17.Make sure youur turbo's bearing are shot so badly that u get 3000rpm of lag and need to pump the clutch to get the shick sound
18.Make sure you own a nokia, so you're bro's and hoes can call you and say, hey bro, lets go for a cruise in the VL turbo Leh!
19.Take your ride to "tint professor" so you get to drive the replacement car (excel) and FRASH it to da max
20.Never buy optimax because your bro said it's not good for turbos
21.Ask a bro for 2 bucks for fuel money coz you used your money up for a new turbo badge for yuour fake turbo
22.Moving your lisence plates to the side so you can get that extra 3 square cms air intake..
23.When you change the steering wheel moit, make sure you use the good boss kit so your fringes dont get stuck in the column
24.Write in ur calender that you'll need a new clutch every two months because you can't drive manual
25.Have a folder in your glove box to store all the canaries you cop every saturday night at chapel st coz ur seat is so low
26.Ask the copper to stick your canary on an angle in the perfect place on your window so the most people will see it at "chapz"
27.Keep a syphon tube in the boot incase you need to make a quick refill.
28.Nod your head to other "tilted hat people" as if you know them... they'll nod back if they are sick
29.Get your break lights tinted so they are only just visible at night.
30.Make sure u are sponsored by a Car Towing company, proving you are a real VL muzza on the burnout run saturday nights
31.Dont use brakes.. manual shift the auto like a sick [censored].... guy (heh)
32.Clean your lowerd seats before leaving Chapel so your ma doesnt find out you ate a souvlaki after her dinner.
33.State you got a permit from the EPA not to run a cat converter.
34.Tell everyone at the drags that you're running 32psi, and after the Cortina sucks your headlights out , say " oh my digital boost controller was stuck on 11psi "
35.Blu-tac your TURBO badge on to your boot so when you floor it, the badge will fly off and you can say, "Bro! See that my car is so f'n fast the turbo badge fell off"!
36.Always wash your car with the hood up on the nature strip
37.When out with mates, make sure your fat cousin and her boyfriend sit in the back so your car looks lower.
38When someone overtakes you in ur VL you have to reovertake them and just as u pass them you have to make sure the blow off valve sounds
39.When driving past chicks at o-zone, make sure you change gears at just the right time for the BOV to open up...
40.The correct cruising method is: 1 hand out window on the door, 1 hand on top of steering wheel, chin up, hat tickling gods feet, full shick diesel jeans and top





edit and note : i didn't write these myself, I got them sent to me... if there's something excessively offensive that I may not have noticed, i apologise and will remove it as soon as im notified.

Cheers

[Updated on: Thu, 05 May 2005 05:08]

Shraka wrote on Thu, 05 May 2005 15:02

Ooold... and racist... and funny...

You're right, it is a bit racist


Some of em are funny though, so I thought I'd send it along. I did search before I posted it.

So yeah once again if you want it deleted just say the word!

[Updated on: Thu, 05 May 2005 05:11]

EnFlaMEd wrote on Thu, 05 May 2005 16:58

Very funny I bag vls as much as the next person but merudo, your opinions might change if you went for a short ride in my mates vl. Modified 308 Supra 5spd Dyna Clutch around $3000 suspension package inc springs, shocks, sway bars, steering rack etc Grp A rims Grp A Scoop Calais skirts. Bob Tail. A very tastefully modified car (I really need some pics).

WHO SAID I WAS BAGGING VL's?


I'm just copy-pasting jokes i saw on another forum... my opinion isnt neccessarily reflected 100% by this... but as people have already said, stereotypes exist for a reason... but we also know not every VL is a boganite or fully sick bro car, just like not every camry driver wears a cardigan, and not every celica driver is a hairdresser.

I'm sure his car is very nice and tastefully modded, it sounds very nice.

Quote:

There is nothing "sick" or "fully" about it. Plain "tough" will do. And i guarantee it would flog your Soarer. (but it will never be as pimpin ) I used to own a gz20 5spd and it was is no where near as quick as my mates vl.

It does sound very tough!
What I'm curious about however, is why you would think I would care if it would flog my soarer....

Hell, a 1994 sprinter beat my soarer off the line and until i got into second gear, it was in front... auto makes it quite sluggish down low... plus i need to fix a few things (exhaust leak... belts as well etc... ) so it most definitely would whoop my GZ20 soarer.

I agree with the pimpin' remark but

Did you enjoy your five-speed GZ20?

[Updated on: Sat, 14 May 2005 14:10]