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Location:
Sydney NSW
Registered:
August 2005
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 another jokes thread
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Thu, 13 October 2005 02:22
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i love jokes threads, figured a new one would be better than resurecting an old...
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for
shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
I went out to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't see any.
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled
him in.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in
the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?" I said "Sure. You look great ... the world's your
oyster ... go for it."
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum
my Dad, my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think its Colin.
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search
and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night
Why terrorists Commit Suicide...
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to
become suicide bombers. Let's see now.
No Jesus,
No Christmas.
No television,
No cheerleaders,
No baseball,
No football,
No hockey,
No golf,
No tailgate parties,
No Wal-Mart,
No Home Depot,
No pork BBQ,
No hot dogs,
No burgers,
No chocolate chip cookies.
No lobster,
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks,
No gumbo,
No jambalaya.
No Beer.
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
But your donkey has a better disposition.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!
I mean, really, is there a mystery here?
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Location:
Adelaide
Registered:
January 2005
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Re: another jokes thread
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Thu, 13 October 2005 04:04
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hahha u had me at camo trousers.
classic
cheers scott
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Registered:
May 2002
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Re: another jokes thread
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Thu, 13 October 2005 04:41
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There once was a hooker named Sally but her colleagues new her as Sally Scab Fanny as she always had a grotesquely scabby fanny.
One evening she was turning tricks under her usual street light and she picked up a bit of work with a typical nerdy sort of loner dude.
They went off up to her room and she laid down on the bed. She informed the guy that he better go shower before they could get into it.
The reason Sally would instruct the guys to go shower was so that she could get her knickers off and pick all the scabs off her fanny to aid in lubing herself up. Once she had picked all the scabs off her fanny she would put them in a small plastic bag and hide them under the bed.
Her customer returned from the shower and asked how much the root would be, Sally informed him it would be fiddy dollars. He ripped off his clothes, hopped on the bed and slid on in (after fitting a rubber of course). They went at it for a bit and then lay on the bed exhausted, they both fell asleep pretty quickly.
Sally Scab Fanny woke to find the man had gone, but being the gentleman he was he had left her the money and a note. Sally noticed that the man had left $52.50 and she thought that was strange, she never normally got tips. She picked up the note and read it:
"Thanks for the amazing root Sally it was a bargain at $50 and it really wore me out. While you were asleep I got hungry and found a plastic bag under the bed with chips in it. Sorry I ate them all but I left you $2.50 extra to cover the cost of them."
 I first heard that joke in Primary School It's old and pretty shit, but still it is a classic.
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Location:
Newcastle, Australia
Registered:
March 2005
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Re: another jokes thread
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Thu, 13 October 2005 06:37
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Ewwwww!! Thats just gross! 
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Location:
Potts Point, Sydney
Registered:
October 2003
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Re: another jokes thread
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Thu, 13 October 2005 14:01
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Thats gotta be one of the most feral jokes i've ever read. Funny tho 
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Registered:
October 2004
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Re: another jokes thread
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Thu, 13 October 2005 17:00
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i like all jokes except the terrorist one, think you should delete that part or the thread gets locked
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